Cats and Dogs
by Kuroi Uma
Summary: Heero's death did much more than turn Relena's life upside down, it thrust Trowa into it and he couldn't have been more unhappy about her suddenly barging into his new life, bringing the past back with her. It's clear they're as different as cats and dogs. But will those differences drive them further apart or will they bring them closer than they'd have ever thought possible?
1. Chapter 1

CATS AND DOGS

 **Chapter 1**

When the news of his death had first reached her, she had laughed. It was probably the most inappropriate thing she had ever done, including abandoning her own ongoing birthday party, but then who could have blamed her? They had always believed him to be indestructible.

Sally had been called. They'd thought she was in shock, but all she had needed was confirmation. She'd needed to hear the words from someone she knew and trusted. Someone who knew _him_ and thus understood just how ludicrous the words 'Heero' and 'dead' sounded on the same sentence.

She hadn't cried, not right away. 'How?' was all she had wanted to know because it still seemed surreal.

As it turned out, it had been his choice. He could have fled, but then he would have compromised the mission and Heero wasn't the kind that failed. Not anymore, not since her. He must have thought he would make it even against all odds. Relena did not think he would have purposefully ended his own life, he just did not value it as much as others did. He never had. So he had risked it, he had gambled, and he had lost.

'Can I see him?' she had asked because she did not see how she could possibly believe those dreadful news without actually seeing his body with her very own eyes. Or so she had explained to the blonde doctor who had looked obviously torn by the simple request.

They had pleaded with her not to. Sally first, then Une and, finally, her own brother. Apparently, Milliardo had been the agent closest to the site of the accident and, therefore, the one to bring the body back to HQ. She hadn't listened to any of them, but she should have. It hurt to see him cold and bloodied and empty.

She cried that night. She thought she'd never be able to stop, but at some point she must have fallen asleep for when she opened her still puffy, sticky eyes it was already morning. It was a beautiful spring day, warm and sunny. It was supposed to be a good day, a happy season, but Relena had a funeral to plan. She had no obligation to do it, of course, Preventers took care of its lost sons and daughters, but he had been her best friend, so she had insisted.

Her personal assistant, who had been in the middle of her holidays, had driven all the way to Relena's place to help. There weren't many people to call, at least not many that Heero would've wanted to be present, but she had been extremely grateful for the assistance. Her voice was hoarse from all the crying she had done so she had been restricted to making lists while Chris made the calls.

'I hope you would have been pleased.' She whispered to the ceiling as she went to bed that night. They had never really talked about funerals, after all they were still in their twenties… _Late_ twenties, but nevertheless. She knew Heero was not religious. He hadn't believed in anything of the sort and probably wouldn't have cared no matter what she chose to do, but Relena did. She had chosen to do something simple which was just the way he'd lived his life, but sophisticated the way she'd always thought he deserved. She cared that his funeral did him justice and she had spared no money in making it so.

She had stood there from the very beginning to greet everyone who came. Their friends, their friends' families and Heero's co-workers. They had all treated her as if she had been his wife and he'd left her bereft. They held her hands, usually in both of theirs, and stared into her eyes with painful frowns meant to reflect her own feelings of loss. She had not cried though, not since that first night as she did not think Heero would have wanted her to. Instead she put on the most serene face she could manage because that was how she wanted to believe he felt and had _always_ felt about the idea of his death.

Her mother had authorised her to bury him in one of the many Darlian family plots and, though she had the feeling he would have chosen to be cremated, Relena had had it prepared. His body had already been badly burnt in the explosion and she could not bring herself, for whatever reason, to have what was left of it set on fire again. As if to make it up to him, she had chosen the most isolated plot available so she could assure him a bit of privacy even in death.

She was present until the very end and, by the time their last friends said their goodbyes and left, the sun was already setting over the cemetery. Relena watched in silence as the skies bled red. It must have been late, but she didn't care for, whenever she looked down and read the name on the tombstone, the only thing she could do was wonder where her world of peace had gone wrong. Was it worth continuing down this path? Should she keep on fighting or would it all prove to be useless in the end?

When she could no longer read his name, no matter how hard she squinted her eyes, she turned away, preparing to leave. It was when she spotted Trowa standing a good three rows away. Her eyes were well enough adjusted to the dusk by then to be able to recognise his tall, slim figure and long bangs.

It surprised her to see him there. He had been gone for years and left no contact, so she hadn't been able to invite him. She hadn't noticed him before and he clearly hadn't been at the funeral, but someone must have informed him because there was no doubt as to his identity. She was glad he had shown. Heero would have wanted him there.

Trowa might not have been able to see her as well as she could see him for the sun's last fading rays were behind her, but he too had recognised her and could surely feel her eyes on him. If he greeted her, Relena could not see, but she raised her hand for a second, greeting him as she finally turned to leave. It was when he seemed to make up his mind and decided to approach her. Had he seen her tears? The tears she had kept from pouring until the very last minute? Until she had believed she was alone?

Relena fought the urge to run even though she knew him. There was no point. Besides she could not be blamed for crying at a burial now, could she? So she stood still and waited, hands folded in front of her body, for him to reach her.

XXX

He had been having an uneventful morning when he received the call.

'Is it a life and death situation?' he had asked right away, for that was the only condition under which he'd agreed to surrender his new number when he had left. He had wanted a fresh start after the war had ended and, though Quatre did not understand why he had to cut _them_ out of his life as well, his friend had been forced to concur.

Trowa knew that he could trust him or he wouldn't have relented. This was the first time, in almost ten years, that he had called and it _was_ – as specified – a life or death situation. Or rather a _death_ situation.

'Trowa, Heero's… Heero's dead.' Quatre had choked on that dreadful word and if it hadn't been for that Trowa might have thought his friend was trying to trick him and burst out laughing.

'How?'

Apparently, he'd sacrificed his life for the sake of a mission. No one knew the details, except perhaps for Une, but no one had really cared to ask anyway. The funeral, followed by the burial, would take place the next day. Quatre would text him the specifics.

'I hope you come. He would have wanted you to be there, Trowa.' Had been his friend's last words before he hung up.

He'd been distracted the rest of the day.

It seemed only right for Heero to go the way he had. It wouldn't have been fitting for him to grow old and senile and die forgotten in some retirement home somewhere. It wouldn't have been fitting for any of them. But would he have wanted a funeral? And a burial at that? A man who could never be bound to a single place for long would now spend eternity in a tiny hole in a small cemetery. Would he really have wanted Trowa there to witness it all?

That day, for the first time ever, he had gone home early. And the next day, also for the first time ever, he had willingly taken half the day off even though he hated leaving his patients in the care of others. If there had been anything he still owed Heero, he'd now consider them even.

The drive to the cemetery took approximately one hour. He was very late, purposefully so. Showing at the funeral would have attracted attention, attention he could not afford to attract as it would ruin the new life he had built for himself. He'd get chastised and have to answer questions he did not feel like answering. So, in order to avoid all that, he'd decided to attend only the burial and to be so late that everyone would have already left.

The sky had just taken an orange hue when he parked outside the necropolis' walls. He saw the last of the entourage was leaving. Zechs and his wife stopped at the kerb and talked for a while. He seemed to be angry, complaining about something, forcing her to reason with him. She looked exasperated and, for a moment, Trowa thought he would walk back into the cemetery, but at last they got into their car and left.

It was only when he stepped inside the walls that he noticed the security staff, clearly Relena's, still present. He debated the idea of coming back another day, but it would've looked quite suspicious if he suddenly just turned tail and ran, besides he had skipped work to be there.

So he strolled through the many rows of tombstones as if heading anywhere but towards the only other living person he could see against the twilit sky. It was rather soothing, he found, the quiet atmosphere of that place, the eerie peacefulness that hovered over the graves. Maybe, if Heero had had the chance to choose a place to settle, that would have indeed been it.

He paused when he reached the burial place that lined up with her. She had her back to him and he was still three rows behind so he figured he'd be safe as long as he made no sound to alert her of his presence.

Time went by, the sun disappeared behind the horizon and yet Relena made no motion to leave. In fact, she barely even moved and he began to wonder if she might have had a stroke. The doctor in him urged Trowa to step in even though this wasn't exactly his area of expertise, even though he had never cared much about her in the first place. It was when she finally turned to leave and a sliver of light, what little remained of the sun's rays, touched her face that he realised she was crying that she'd been crying all along.

She glanced his way, perhaps she had sensed his presence despite his discretion, and froze once more. Had she recognised him? No, it was way too dark… Or so he had been trying to convince himself when he saw what appeared to be a brief rising of her hand. So his greatest fear had come to life in spite of all the precautions he'd taken…

Maybe, he reasoned, she would just forget she had seen him. Yet there was always the chance that she would comment to someone that he'd been there – the fact that he'd been hiding in the shadows would not slip her notice, especially not after he'd been gone for so many years – and that person might just be Duo or Quatre. In the end, the brand new life he had built for himself, so close and yet so far from the old one, would be ruined. He had no choice then but to approach and confront her.

XXX

Relena watched puzzled as, still a row away from her, Trowa stopped and raised both hands. It was when the cemetery's few lamps blinked to life and she noticed her security staff had closed in on him, guns raised.

'It's okay.' She assured them, wiping away her drying tears as discreetly as she could. 'I know him.'

As quietly as they'd advanced, her black covered guardians faded back into the shadows and Trowa lowered his hands, thrusting them back into the pockets of his brown aviator jacket. The air grew stagnant as they held each other's gaze under the orange hue of the lamps. Relena waited, but he made no sign that he was going to speak. She had thought he wanted to give her his condolences like everyone else before him, but it was clear now that that wasn't so. His green eyes were cold, hard on hers, but she was too tired to care. He had been the one to approach her so it was only reasonable that he should be the one to break the silence.

'I wasn't here. You never saw me.' He informed at last.

Had it been any other day she would have simply shrugged it away and avoided an unnecessary confrontation, she might even have found the absurdity of the whole situation amusing, but on that particular day – after spending hours at the funeral of a man who had meant so much to her – her nerves were stretched to their very limit and his words, combined with the impertinence with which he spoke them, were all it took for her remaining composure to snap.

'What?' she demanded outraged. 'What did you say?'

'I said—'

'No. I don't want you to repeat it. I want you to explain to me _why_ you think you can just show up out of nowhere after… How long has it been? Never mind. What makes you think you can give me orders? Or was that a veiled threat?'

Trowa was a formidable opponent, she noticed at once, albeit not a very eloquent one. He showed no reaction to her attack whatsoever, his expression remaining completely impassive, and, only once he seemed to have given his next move enough thought, did he take action.

'What can I offer you in exchange for your silence?'

'What can you _offer_ me?' she shook her head perplexed. Had she missed something? Was this an alternative reality she had been transported into without her knowing? If that were true Heero's death just might make sense. 'An explanation would be nice.'

This time she thought she saw a flicker of annoyance cross his face, an urge to sigh or roll his eyes, but – if he really had any such urges – he resisted them completely.

'Not here.'

'Uh… Okay?' Relena was having a hard time controlling her own annoyance.

'A lot has happened. You're not in your right mind. I can see that.' He paused. Her incredulity was so great she didn't even know what to say and could only shake her head at him. 'I work at Edward Dyce Animal Hospital. Find me there tomorrow. I imagine you'll be taking a few extra days off? I'll treat you to lunch and we can discuss this.'

'Fine.' She said curtly, making it clear just how displeased she was. At least, she would have enough time to come up with a thousand questions she _knew_ he'd rather die than answer. 'Tomorrow then.'

'Tomorrow.' He nodded simply and left as nonchalantly as he'd come.

Relena shook her head still unable to fully believe what had just happened. True they had never been close and barely knew each other, but for Trowa to just pop out of nowhere and threaten her… And on such a sensitive day at that. She glanced over her shoulder at the silent tombstone. Who was she going to tell all that to, now that her go-to person had departed? It was the first time she actually missed him, but it wouldn't be the last. He used to disappear from time to time, often for weeks on end, yet – even so – she'd never felt his absence as keenly as she did now. This time she knew he was gone forever.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** This chapter is dedicated to _Relena for President_ who badgered me until I put this story to paper. It wouldn't exist without her support and enthusiasm. She also happens to be this chapter's wonderful beta-reader for which she deserves a mighty thanks! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The envelope was waiting for him when he returned to the attending vets' lounge. It had nothing but his name written on it so it had clearly been delivered by the sender in person or someone in their employ. Inside it he found a note. She'd be waiting for him in her car.

Trowa was relieved. Ever since he'd left the cemetery the day before, he'd been chastising himself for his hasty actions. She was well-known by the public and her appearance would attract enough attention that his colleagues would surely start making assumptions, if not asking impertinent questions or insinuating unseemly things.

He'd never been the source of work gossip before, but he'd witnessed enough cases to know how it went. So he was instantly grateful for her discretion which made him feel a little bad for the way he'd treated her at the necropolis. True he'd been caught off guard, but if only he'd been more of a gentleman… They might have agreed on something right then and there and he would have been spared all this fretting.

It served him right.

After changing back into his casual clothes, he made his way out of the building, walking past the waiting room where an old lady waited with a harlequin Great Dane and a small family sat around a caged green parrot. The parking lot was rather empty at that time and –as he knew most of his co-workers' vehicles – he found her black sedan with ease. The doors unlocked as soon as he reached the car and he slipped in without a thought.

'Your discretion is appreciated.' He felt the need to inform her.

'I thought you might say that.' Relena smiled somewhat smugly. 'So… What did you have in mind? Because I took the liberty of making reservations at a nearby restaurant.'

'As long as it's discreet…' Trowa shrugged. This was not his area of expertise so he did not really mind letting her run with her own ideas. And, mayhap, she might look more favourably upon his demands if he indulged her.

She gave a nod to the driver who immediately turned on the engine and reversed out of the spot. 'So what is it you do here?'

He wondered if this was already the beginning of his inquisition, but figured she knew enough already that telling her the rest could only strengthen his case. 'I'm a vet.'

'A vet?' Relena's surprise was clear in her wide eyes and lightly parted lips.

'Yes.'

'I'd thought… Never mind.' She shook her head. 'For how long?'

'A couple of years now.'

'Then all this time you were gone…'

'I'm _still_ gone.' He reminded her with a meaningful stare.

She merely returned his stare neither agreeing nor disagreeing, then resumed her questionnaire as if nothing had happened. 'You went back to school.'

'Yes.'

'But why vanish?' she asked as he knew she would. 'Why all the secrecy?'

'A fresh start.' Trowa said simply though she clearly wanted him to elaborate. 'Don't tell me it's never crossed your mind.'

'Of course it has. But it isn't _me_ we're talking about here.'

He shrugged. 'That's all it was.'

'What about your friends? And didn't you have living relatives too?'

'It wouldn't exactly be a fresh start if people kept calling me all the time, bringing back the past, now would it?'

'Then your actual goal was to erase the past?'

'From _my_ history. Yes.'

'And did it work?' Relena sounded genuinely curious.

'Until you showed up…'

The car pulled up in front of the restaurant then and she retrieved her sunglasses from the storage compartment of her door. Even with them on, he could clearly see the look she gave him. 'Until _you_ showed up, you mean.'

XXX

Relena was glad Trowa had agreed to her choice of restaurant. She had done her homework – or rather, her fill-in assistant had – and researched the best, most discreet places to eat in the hospital's vicinity. It was not only that she wanted to preserve her bargaining chip – Trowa's anonymity – but that she valued her own privacy. That's why she had also had Chris' stand-in reserve the most secluded table available. Her companion did not appear particularly surprised. What bothered him was the presence of her driver-slash-bodyguard.

'Must he be present?' Trowa asked not bothering to lower his voice as the man joined them at their very table.

'Carlos is as discreet as can be.' She reassured him. 'You needn't worry about him.'

'Yes, but is all this security really necessary?'

'It's what Heero would've wanted.' She said simply, because indeed he had been paranoid about her safety after all the kidnappings and attempted kidnappings she had been through.

The waiter approached then to take their orders and Relena considered the matter resolved. Surely Trowa wouldn't question his deceased friend's commendations. She had not foreseen how callous he could be.

'Heero's dead.' He reminded her as if that changed the fact that she was important and ever endangered. Relena's throat clenched at that and she glanced down at the napkin she had been straightening on her lap. Her reaction seemed to stir something within him for he added in a slightly lighter tone: 'I am entirely capable of defending you if anything happens. I'm sure Heero would have agreed.'

She met his eyes. Was he just trying to preserve the information he was about to share with her? Even if he was, she could see he had meant every word and she believed him. 'Very well. Carlos? Would you mind? I'll ask the waiter to take your food to the car. Thank you. Now, I hope you won't refuse to answer a single one of my questions after this.'

'Ask away.' Trowa made it sound as if he no longer cared what she asked in the least.

'Well… Why come back at all if you don't care about your friends?'

'I never said I did not care.'

Relena could not help raising her eyebrows at him. Did he not realise how contradictory he sounded? She did not know exactly why, but she wanted very much to understand his train of thought – where it had come from and where it was headed… If it was headed anywhere at all and not just running in circles.

'But if you do care then why leave? Why vanish without a trace?'

'I thought we'd been over this already.'

'Yes, but…' she paused as the waiter served them their salads and asked him if he'd mind taking her driver's meal to him outside in exchange for a fat tip. He agreed, however reluctantly. 'It makes no sense!' she, at last, told the man sitting across from her.

He merely shrugged. It was kind of his standard response, she'd noticed. 'I don't see how that concerns you. Maybe you should worry about yourself and how you still haven't come to grips with the fact that Heero's gone.'

'Just because I'm still trying to abide by his wishes?' Relena asked incredulously. She could not help it even though she knew he'd only provoked her in order to shift the subject away from himself. Whether she had come to grips with Heero's death or not she clearly wasn't up to the game yet.

'You'll need a new head of security anyway and you can't expect them to follow someone else's protocol. They'll wish to implement their own.' It was her turn to shrug. 'It might be a good chance to loosen up your surveillance a little. The times hardly call for all this.'

'What do you care?'

'You think you've the right to meddle in my affairs… I thought it only fair I be allowed to meddle in yours too.' He spoke just as nonchalantly as he did all else. And it might have been only his affected disinterest that prevented her from getting angry. This had been his area of expertise once too and he was merely offering her his professional opinion.

'Fair enough.' Relena consented. 'What would _you_ have me do then? If _you_ were my head of security?'

'Get a dog. You don't need more than that.'

'A dog?'

'I would've recommended a cat, but you're clearly a dog-person.'

'How so?' she frowned suspiciously.

'You're gregarious, extroverted, optimistic…' Again he shrugged and took a sip of his soft drink as if it were all quite irrelevant anyway. 'Though, because it was _Heero_ you lost, maybe a cat would be best for you.'

Relena did not have to be a genius to realise he was comparing their friend to a cat and suggesting she replace him with one, in a way. That wasn't what bothered her… What bothered her was how accurate he actually was in his little depiction of her. They'd spent hardly any time together up until that very lunch.

'And which one are _you_? A dog or a cat-person?' she threw the question back at him in an attempt to mask her annoyance.

'I've always favoured cats. The bigger the better. But you could have easily guessed that.' He smirked.

'I guess I could.' She admitted. The day before she had been too tired not to argue and fight him, but this time she was collected enough not to let him lead her down that path again. In fact, she thought she owed him an apology. Kind of. 'I'm sorry if I lost my temper yesterday, but you must admit you were incredibly rude.'

Trowa's head wobbled lightly a sign that he agreed with what she said, however partially. 'I apologise, if it makes you feel more inclined towards keeping my secret.'

'I never said I wouldn't, though I think you're doing yourself more harm than good by cutting your friends out of your life. It's no use showing up when it's already too late.'

'You may think whatever you will.' He said without feeling, but she could sense his irritation. He put down his cutlery.

'You should re-evaluate your reasons. I think Heero would've wanted me to tell you this.' Relena met his eyes with genuine concern. Despite his private nature, her former head of security and best friend had still valued his friendships immensely and had once told her that he believed people like him – who had difficulty making friends – were the ones that needed them the most. He had had difficulties, but she had helped him. She had stuck by him even when he was a prick and he had been ever so grateful. He would've wanted her to help Trowa too, especially knowing the man had valued their friendship to the point of risking what he held most dear just to attend Heero's burial.

'What will you have next?' she changed the subject.

'I should get back to work.' He stood up, throwing a couple notes on the table which, she noticed, were more than enough to pay for their meal. Desserts included.

'Wait. We'll drive you.'

'I'll take a cab. It's fine.' He didn't sound like he would be changing his mind anytime soon so Relena relented. Before he walked away, however, he looked over his shoulder and met her eyes. 'Get that dog. Heero would've wanted you to.'

XXX

 _It makes no sense!_ Her words kept echoing through his head even as he worked later that day. _You should re-evaluate your reasons._

Of course he knew he appeared to be contradicting himself. He wasn't an idiot, yet it bothered him to imagine that she might think he was. There were very good reasons why he wanted distance from his old friends and even his sister, but those were reasons he had avoided giving much thought to and, especially, putting into words. Heero had once told him to act on his emotions and that was what he had done, no need to cross-examine himself. Maybe that explanation would've satisfied Relena for she seemed to hold Heero's opinion above everyone else's.

'You're distracted today, Barton.' His boss, whom he'd been assisting on a surgery, commented reproachfully as Trowa failed to pass him a new suture as soon as the current one was over.

'I'm sorry, sir.' He said simply, hiding his vexation. He'd never been anything other than impeccable in his work. They called him 'infallible' behind his back, often 'machine-like' too, but he was secretly quite proud of his reputation and so it angered him to suddenly be caught slipping, though he succeeded in keeping his feelings from showing.

'I hear you took the day off yesterday. Is everything alright?' the man asked more out of obligation than actual concern, his dark eyes made sharper by the rim of his surgical mask.

Because it was his boss who asked, Trowa felt obliged to answer. 'An old friend passed away on Tuesday.'

'I'm sorry.' His boss tied the final knot, then watched attentively as he cut the leftover suture. He met Trowa's eyes once more before stepping away from the table. 'Take another day off if you must, but don't let this get in the way of your work. These are lives we're responsible for here.'

As the older veterinarian walked out of the OR, Trowa glanced at the anaesthesiologist, making the man avert his gaze. The nurse had been absent, thankfully, or he would've been even angrier… At his boss for rebuking him, at Heero for dying, at Relena for distracting him, but – most of all – at himself for dwelling on it. What was the point? What difference did it make if one woman thought he was an idiot? He would probably never see her again anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Relena blinked and took the tip of the pen she'd been biting away from her lips. 'Do you think I should get a dog?' she asked, turning to her assistant with a frown. She would've rather have Chris' opinion for the other woman had known her a lot longer, but she just could not wait until Monday to settle that issue. Her work had suffered for it that week and she knew it. Trowa's words kept coming back to her.

The other woman blinked at her. 'I'm sorry, Miss?'

'Never mind.'

'Are you certain?'

'No. I'm not certain about anything anymore.' She sighed to herself.

'Maybe you should've taken more time off after…' her assistant blushed and stammered when Relena looked up at her again. 'I'm sorry. It's just I heard you two were very close.'

'We were, but that's not what's troubling me.' She shook her head. Heero would've been _the_ one to ask if she should get a dog or not, but then… If he had still been there to answer, she wouldn't even be asking that question. At last, she turned back to her current conversation. 'Do you think I should get a dog?'

'To… Uh… Fill the…void?'

'I guess.' Relena shrugged. She didn't understand what made her assistant so uncomfortable about their conversation. 'Yes. Why not?'

'Well… They say having a dog is good for a lot of things. Cats too.'

Fighting the urge to sigh, she thanked the other woman and turned back to her computer screen. As soon as she did though, something or rather _someone_ came to mind and she figured it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion, especially if it helped her get back to her work. 'Would you mind calling Carlos in? Thank you.'

Her bodyguard arrived in no time. He stepped into her office and closed the door behind him, looking as tranquil as he always did. Relena couldn't remember how old he was exactly, but she knew he was over forty and she decided he was experienced enough to give her a more reliable opinion.

'You wanted to see me, Miss?'

'Oh, yes, Carlos. May I ask you a question?'

'A question?'

'Nothing personal.' She assured him. 'It's just something I'd like your opinion on.'

' _My_ opinion?' he still sounded somewhat suspicious.

'Not just yours. I'm asking other people too.' Relena was beginning to feel exasperated. Since when had everyone been so wary of her? And how had she not noticed it before? 'Do you think I should get a dog?'

Carlos looked genuinely thoughtful. 'No.' he said after a moment. 'Don't get me wrong, Miss. It's just that dogs need a lot of attention and you work long hours… Most days. Not _every_ day. _Most_ days.'

'Mmm… You may be right there.'

'Will you be needing anything else, Miss?'

'No, Carlos. That'll be all for now. Thank you.'

'You're welcome. Uh… Ms. Darlian?'

'Hmm?'

'Perhaps a cat?'

'What? Oh! A _cat_! I guess I'll have to think about it, Carlos. I was told I'm a dog-person…'

'Oh, you definitely are.' The bodyguard actually smiled at that.

And as he walked out she could not help but stare at his back and wonder what that meant… She turned back to the screen and opened her web browser. 'Dog-person, cat-person' she typed and started reading for, apparently, that really _was_ a thing. Who would've thought? Or maybe it was she who needed some time away from her desk…

XXX

He had an opening that afternoon so he'd decided to get up to date on some recently published articles. There was one on small animal prosthetics that had particularly caught his eye. He'd always liked mechanics and technology, it was something he'd never be able to escape no matter what he did. He still considered working on research… The hypothesis, the test trials… Technology providing a solution to a problem that seemed impossible to solve. It was science at its finest. But he had barely taken a seat at the worn armchair in the vets' lounge when the secretary peeked in.

'There's a consult for you.' She said simply.

'What is it?'

'Just a lady looking for guidance or something like that.'

'Don't we have brochures for that?'

'I already told her you had an opening and that she was right on time.' She left before he could argue his case any further.

She clearly did not care that he hated dealing with clients and she was right not to. It was his job after all. But he might have been more insistent had he known who was waiting for him at the lobby. And right when he had finally managed to get past the insecurities she had stirred in him and back to work...

'Miss… Darlian?' he asked, glancing around the waiting room as if he did not know her. At that moment, he honestly wished he didn't and could only hope she'd really come to consult him as a veterinarian and not as a… Whatever she thought they were. She smiled amiably in acknowledgement. 'This way, please.'

He led her into one of the vacant consult rooms, thankful that no one seemed to have recognised her despite her poor attempt at a disguise. People were forgetful and she'd been away from the spotlight for some time. They sat across from each other at the white desk and immediately fell into a staring contest of sorts.

'So what brings you here today, Miss Darlian?' he, at last, decided to stick to his plan of treating her like any other client. 'The secretary mentioned you might have some…questions?'

'You haven't introduced yourself.' She noted unable to stop a smug smile from curving her lips.

He should've been angry, but there was _something…_ A twinkle in her eyes that made him lose the will to continue with that farce. 'Fine, Relena.' He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he conceded defeat. 'Tell me what you want.'

She blinked at him. 'I thought you knew. Didn't the secretary tell you?'

'She said you wanted _guidance_ on something.'

'That's exactly it.'

'It _is_?' he could not help but frown at her. They'd had lunch a little over a week ago so what could she want from him again so soon?

'Yes. You told me to get a dog and I've been considering it.' There was a touch of exasperation in her tone now as if he should have known all along her presence there was entirely his fault. 'People keep telling me to get a cat though so I came to ask your professional opinion and to gather as much information as I can before I make up my mind.'

'You could have used the internet for that.'

'The internet isn't always reliable. In fact, most times it isn't.'

'Consulted your local vet then.'

'Why would I consult an unknown vet when I have an old friend who also happens to be one?'

He could've told her they'd never really _been_ friends, but she clearly did not need the reminder. Instead he had to hold back a sigh. 'Since you've come all the way here…'

As he dug through one of the desk drawers for those so called brochures, he noticed the emptiness of the consult room with just the two of them in it and wondered what had happened to Carlos, the bodyguard… Surely she wouldn't have been careless enough to dismiss him just because of something he'd said, would she? He didn't think he had the right to ask, but he'd rather not have her death on his conscience.

'Carlos couldn't make it today?' he tried to, at the very least, sound mocking, but she saw right through him.

'Worried? I thought you'd told me to get rid of my security staff.'

'Just curious.' He shrugged, laying a colourful fan of folders on the desktop.

'He's outside.' She told him with a smile, it wasn't exactly smug, but he still took notice of it. She really _did_ think he was an idiot it seemed…

'These.' He pointed at the carefully selected pamphlets. 'Should answer all of your questions. And _here_ …' he quickly scribbled a few lines on a prescription pad, handing the sheet to her when he was done. 'Are a couple of books you might be interested in once you've made up your mind. Anything else?'

'Yes.' Relena eyed him matter-of-factly. 'May I call if I have any other questions?'

'You won't.'

'You can't know that.'

Her indignant face endeared her to him somewhat. It put the tiniest of smiles on his lips. Thankfully, he was quick enough to disguise it with annoyance. 'Yes, you may call.' He conceded.

'Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?' she pushed her chair away from the desk and stood, brandishing the brochures at him. 'Thanks for these.'

Trowa waved a hand dismissively at her, but as she turned to leave the words he had been toying with in his head ever since their previous conversation escaped from his tightly sealed lips. 'I do have a reason. A _good_ reason to want my friends away.'

For a second, he thought that might be enough for her. He thought she might say 'I know' and leave or that she might think that was his way of telling her to stay away, but – of course – he should have known better.

Relena glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled gently. 'Perhaps you might enlighten me over a cup of tea sometime. Or a glass of wine, if you prefer.'

And before he could do more than gape at her, like the idiot she thought he was, she was gone.

XXX

Relena arrived at the animal shelter that Saturday a little uncertain but with her mind made up. She had called her mother the night before and they had spent over an hour sharing stories of Relena's old dog, Bubbles. There were no sad stories in that collection and she would always remember the sheepdog fondly. His death might have shaken her a little at the epitome of her fourteen years, but it had not changed the love she felt for Bubbles. And because she seemed to be going through that whole mourning process all over again it seemed there was no better option than for her to get a new dog.

She told the lady who received her at the shelter all about the furry friend she'd once had and lost, but refused to mention the most recent – human – one. Maybe losing someone wouldn't be considered a good enough reason to adopt a dog… At least not officially.

'So you'd rather adopt a puppy or an older dog?' the woman asked as she raised the flap to let Relena past the counter and into the restricted area where a wide corridor led to the kennels.

'I don't have the time right now to educate a puppy, unfortunately, so I'll have to go for an older dog. A housebroken one, preferably.' She smiled her nicest smile afraid the woman might question her about her lack of time and decide she was better fit for a cat after all.

'Of course.' Was the amiable enough answer and then: 'Have you considered a cat? They are a lot more independent and, in recent years, they have become a very popular choice for people living alone and hard workers in general.'

'Yes. I know. I… I _did_ consider them, but I think I can still make enough time for a dog.'

'Just checking.' The woman reassured her with a wide knowing smile. 'It's just many people don't even consider getting a cat at all, which is a big mistake. So… An older dog! They're in this room. Remember what I told you about the colour of their files and their personalities?'

'Oh, yes. Red for the hyper ones, green for those with normal energy levels and yellow for the quieter ones.'

'Exactly! Now feel free to look around and let me know if you wish to meet any of them in private, okay?' with a wink she was gone, closing the door behind Relena, who suddenly found herself overwhelmed by so many dogs barking at her at the same time. She saw the camera at the end of the aisle, at the very top of the wall, and wondered if the cheerful lady would be watching her.

'Alright.' she took a deep shuddery breath. 'Feels just like a first date.'

Not that she had had many of those. The best part had always been meeting Heero the following morning – when he was in town, of course – and telling him all about it. Since she now seemed to be dating dogs maybe Trowa would listen to her complaints? Well, he would have to anyway, when she brought the dog in for a consult with him. That thought amused her and Relena realised she was calm enough now to face her prospective companions. She could only hope to make the right choice.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

He gave the waiting room a quick once over as he made his way to the receptionist's desk to get his next patient's file. It was rather busy for an early Sunday morning, but then most people worked during the week so their only option was to take their beloved pets to the vet on the weekend. To Trowa it was all the same. Patients needed care every day regardless of it being a week day, a Sunday or a holiday. Disease and disaster did not take days off and so he, too, tried not to.

'New patient today.' The secretary said as she dropped the file in front of him on the front desk counter.

'New?' he raised an eyebrow at the exceptionally fat file. The clinic's light yellow cover seemed to be the only thing new about it.

'A transfer.' She eyed him morosely before turning back to her work. Her attitude often reminded him of Catherine, and Trowa could not tell if that was a good thing or not.

He opened the file. Why would someone take so sick an animal away from a doctor that had been treating it for years, maybe for its entire life? Had the veterinarian died? The practice closed? Had the family just move to another area? Or maybe, as he realised as soon as he picked up the newest form in the pile, it had just come out of a shelter... And adopted by an illustrious person at that, if the name on that paper was any indication.

'Is Miss Darlian in the waiting room?'

The secretary paused for a second then looked up at him. 'Oh, that's right. The dog didn't look too good so I told her to walk right in. Consult room number five.'

So _that's_ why he hadn't seen her. Trowa shook his head in disbelief. Relena was out of her mind. 'Thanks.'

Giving the pile of papers in front of him a second glance and deciding that he'd have plenty of time to get up-to-date on the patient's medical history later that night, he closed the folder and made his way to the consult room.

The patient, a thirteen year old cream coloured Cairn Terrier, didn't look half as bad as the secretary seemed to think. A little out of breath perhaps, but then maybe the stress induced by the packed waiting room had already subsided leaving only the usual, more manageable, amounts of stress which were, of course, inevitable. Its brand new owner, by whose high-heeled feet the dog sat anxiously, was chatting with it reassuringly. She looked up when Trowa stepped in and smiled that smile he was beginning to get used to already.

'Miss Darlian.'

'Dr Barton.'

He snorted at her amused tone and dropped the heavy file on the desk, opening it as he took his seat. 'So… Who do we have here?'

'This is Jackie.' She smiled fondly at the little dog. 'We met at the animal shelter just yesterday.'

'Yes…' he tapped at the form she'd filled in minutes earlier. 'It says so right here. I guess what I meant to ask was… Why Jackie?'

Relena frowned, looking offended for the shivering ball of fur beside her. 'Why _not_ Jackie? Because she's a little old?'

'She's not old, Relena. She's ancient.' He corrected her, examining the dog with a clinical eye. 'And very clearly sick.'

'So? Doesn't she deserve a chance? Doesn't she deserve to die loved and at her own home?'

Remembering the old sick lions he had loved spending time with back at the circus, he felt ashamed of himself. He cleared his throat, avoiding her piercing gaze. 'Yes. Of course she does.'

'So?' she insisted.

Trowa disguised a sigh by rubbing at the bridge of his nose. Why did he suddenly seem to care about her? It was an unconscious reaction, almost like a reflex. Just like the decision to leave his friends and sister behind had been. And because he valued his instincts highly he ran along with them. She had just lost someone. Couldn't she see that Jackie, poor Jackie, would probably not live very long either? Probably another year or two…

'She'll require a lot of care is all I meant.' Was what he said, almost apologetic. He no longer felt like fighting with her, not today. Maybe if he treated her decently she'd leave him alone and stop messing up his life. 'It might be best for you to find a vet closer to your place. I could recommend you a couple clinicians if you like.'

'No.' Relena shook her stubborn head at him with all the authority of an experienced diplomat. 'I want _you_ to treat her.'

He would have asked her 'why' if he didn't fear the answer. Instead, he kept trying to reason with her. 'Coming all the way here… The car ride, the strange surroundings, all the unknown smells of the many animals that walk in and out of here every day… It isn't good for her, Relena. The stress, the adrenaline. I've taken a glimpse at her file already. Her heart can't take it.'

'Well, that'll make it all the easier then… For us to have that chat and that cup of tea, won't it?' she paused and he could see in her eyes that she was quite serious despite the light tone. 'Come over on your day off, as often as you think she needs. Money is not an issue. You _care_ , Trowa. I can _see_ that and because we know each other I feel I can speak freely with you. I need that and so does Jackie.'

This time he did sigh, openly. He admired her honourable intentions. Was that what Heero had seen in her? It must have been. And he was honestly relieved that she didn't have other more…complicated reasons for wanting him, specifically, to look after her dog. He was also glad to suddenly have something other than paperwork to fill his days off with. And that's why he said what he did to her next, which was – of course – 'if you insist'.

'Thank you.' She beamed, turning to Jackie whose watery brown eyes sought Relena's immediately. 'Did you hear that, girl, you'll have your own private vet now as well as your own home.'

The dog whined softly, wagging her tail eagerly. Trowa shook his head to clear it of that tender scene. 'I'm going to perform a thorough examination, collect some blood for testing and I suggest you do an ECG, an echocardiography and a chest x-ray since you're already here. We'll keep her on whatever meds she's already on. At least until we get all those test results and I've read her whole file. Then I'll contact you and we'll decide on the best treatment for her.'

He watched Jackie somewhat worriedly and pretended not to notice the weird look Relena gave him, as if she were seeing him for the first time, when he stood up and unwound the stethoscope from around his neck. At least now she knew he wasn't a complete idiot... He hoped.

XXX

'A sick dog, Relena?' her mother eyed her somewhat incredulously from the isle, where she sat while Relena fixed them dinner. She had expected that kind of reaction already – it seemed to be everyone's first reaction – so she wasn't at all surprised. All in all she had appreciated her mother's visit. She had not realised how much she'd missed the older woman.

'Yes, Mom. Does she _look_ sick to you? No. You wouldn't have known she's a cardiopath had I not told you.' She took a sip of the soup to make sure she had the right amount of salt, then waved the spoon at her mother to further strengthen her point. 'Besides she takes her pills like a big girl and, aside from lots of love, that's pretty much all she needs at this stage. Would you abandon me if I got sick?'

'Of course not!' her mother's horror was clear in her knitted eyebrows and wide eyes.

'So? There.' Relena turned to reach for her glass of wine beside the pot and, noticing Jackie sitting there, got down on her knees to talk to the dog in a baby-voice. She could feel her mother's pensive eyes on her as the woman sipped her own drink.

'Cardiopath?' she asked at last, more curious than anything else.

'Oh… A friend who is a vet explained everything to me in detail. He'll be coming over to see her at least once a month.'

'A friend, is it?'

She whirled on her mother unsure whether she had really heard that insinuating edge in her voice or not. 'What?'

'Don't you think it's still a little early for you to get another "friend"?'

'Mom…' Relena shook her head still disbelieving what was going on. 'I don't know what you thought Heero and I were or what you wanted us to be, but we _were_ just friends.'

'Oh, how long will you hide the truth from me, Relena? It was clear to anyone with eyes that you were in love with each other.' Her mother didn't sound angry merely upset.

'In love?' she would have laughed, she almost started to, but her mother's words rung so true in her head she could do nothing except gape and clutch the edge of the counter behind her. If she let go she feared she might fall. 'Oh, god…'

'Are you alright, dear?' her mother was beside her in a second, lowering the heat and helping her onto a stool at the isle. 'Maybe you should sit for a minute.'

It _was_ true. She _had_ been in love with Heero. How could she have not seen it when everyone else clearly had? It explained so much! Why she had always sought his company over everyone else's, why she had insisted on taking care of his funeral herself, why her mother had felt sorry enough for her to allow his body to be laid to rest with her own kin, why everyone had treated her as if she'd suddenly become a widow, why her employees had tiptoed around her since his death.

'You're realising it only now, aren't you?' her mother's eyes were full of sorrow as she took Relena's hands in hers. 'You silly girl…'

'You think he knew?' she turned from her thoughts back to reality, squeezing her mother's hands rather desperately.

'I cannot say…' Her mother lamented. 'You always treated him too much like a friend… I used to think it was just to fool me and everyone else, but… If he had known, would he not have done something about it?'

'He'll never know.' Relena whispered and despite the fact that that was a world-shattering realisation she felt only numb. She saw Jackie sitting expectantly by her stool and reached down to pet her.

'Tell… Tell me about this other friend of yours. The vet.'

'Trowa?' she looked up at her mother, confused at first, but then she allowed herself to be distracted. 'He really is just a friend, Mom.'

'I believe you, dear. I believe you.' Her mother reassured her, picking on the upset tone of her voice. She patted Relena's knee. 'I just don't want you to make the same mistake again.'

XXX

It was late Friday night when Trowa finally made it to the fancy apartment building where Relena lived. He'd taken with him only what little he could carry in his backpack, but he didn't think he'd need anything else. Jackie's file and exam results had all been digitalized and were now safely stored where he could easily access them anytime anywhere. He had forwarded everything to her dedicated new guardian with a promise to give his own opinion when he visited.

Now the time had come.

She was already waiting for him at the door when the lift arrived on her floor. He thought the smile on her lips looked a little smug, but he could not really blame her. It was a fact that she had succeeded in bringing him all the way there and he thought that was quite an accomplishment himself.

'Sorry about the hour.' He felt obliged to say. 'But I'll be working tomorrow after all.'

'Don't worry about it. I know how that is.' She stepped aside to let him in. 'Though I've decided not to work on weekends anymore now that I have Jackie.'

'Won't that put you behind schedule?'

'Not really.' Relena shrugged, meaning it probably would, but she didn't care either way. 'It's a welcome change. I'd been spending too much time at the office. Now I come home earlier and will take proper days off.'

She explained all that as she led him further into the apartment. Trowa wondered if she wouldn't feel like he did on his days off and not know what to do with herself. He hated that feeling of idleness, of wasting time, but maybe for Relena now that she had someone to care for things would be different. Lost in thought he didn't even realise he had walked into her bedroom until it was too late. Of course he had legitimate reasons for being there, but still… It felt as awkward as if he were an alien invading her planet.

Jackie had a large plush bed at the corner of the suite. She raised her head and perked her pointy ears when they entered, wagging her tiny tail expectantly. Trowa could not help but smile at her. 'She looks good. Well settled in.'

'She's a dear.'

'She takes her meds alright?' he laid his backpack on the dresser and pulled out his stethoscope and thermometer.

'I actually think she likes them.'

'I'm quite sure it's the attention she likes.' Trowa snorted lightly, waiting for Relena to pick the dog up and bring her to him. He would've gone to her king sized dog bed, it was his job after all and he did not mind doing it, but he did not complain and set out to examine her on her guardian's arms.

'Well, even _you_ must like a little attention now and then.' She joked when he finished and stepped away.

Trowa shrugged. 'I'm not dead yet. Neither is Jackie, thankfully. Quite far from it. It seems her heart condition is completely under control. The ECG shows alterations, as you must have noticed, but nothing unexpected in her case and the echocardiography revealed a stronger heart than would've been expected. No lung alterations in the x-ray. She may outlive both of us yet. As long as you avoid over-exercising and overexciting her. Take her for a walk, but choose a quiet route and if she starts panting too much or stops and refuses to continue, pick her up and bring her back.'

The confining atmosphere of her bedroom was getting the better of him. He gave his speech quickly as he showed her Jackie's test results on his mobile and then immediately put his things away, preparing to leave.

'What about the meds?'

'We'll maintain the diuretic, but there's a more modern ACE-inhibitor that I think she'll benefit from. I consulted a colleague who's a cardiologist and he agrees, so…' he dug in his backpack as he spoke and pulled out a sheet of paper. 'Here's the prescription.'

Maybe, if he was fast enough, she wouldn't remember she had wanted to question him on those reasons he had hinted at, yet felt not at all like explaining. He hadn't yet learned his lesson, which was that Relena was not only a lot smarter than she looked, but miles ahead of him in such matters. She had very easily and very obviously trapped him in her lair.

'I made us dinner.' Was all she said as casually as if they'd been doing that their whole lives.

'I'm sorry, Relena. But it's growing late and some of us do have to work tomorrow.' Trowa thought he sounded reasonable enough. He gave her a pointed look before pulling the backpack off the dresser.

'I won't ask for your reasons.' She offered, anticipating him already. 'There's just one thing I need to know… And it's not even related to you.'

He waited, meeting her eyes with renewed patience, but she seemed unsure. She played with Jackie's ear and collar as the inner argument ran through her mind until, at last, she put the dog down and uttered the words. She did it in such a rush; the question was finished before she'd even fully straightened her back. 'Did Heero truly love me?'

He hadn't told her then… Would he want Trowa to? Now that he was dead… Would knowing the truth make her feel better or worse? He wasn't even sure why those questions ran through his head. Heero was dead so it made no difference to him one way or the other and why should Trowa care how Relena felt? She had asked him a question because she wanted to know the truth.

'Yeah.' He answered simply, nonchalantly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 'Ever since the war.'

'I didn't believe it when my mother told me.' She took a step back, but the edge of her bed trapped her. She was staring down at the carpeting and Trowa could see there was an odd twist to her lips. 'But you were his friend so…' Her chin quivered.

He didn't know what else to say. And so he stood there, like a soldier waiting for orders, neither able to leave nor wanting to stay. Thankfully, for him, she had a lot more experience dealing with awkward situations than he did. She wiped away the tears and met his eyes with a smile, already recomposed. Or so she wanted him to think. 'You may leave now. I'll call if anything happens to Jackie.'

But a part of him felt responsible for her misery and if he knew anything about dogs, and consequently about dog-people as well, was that they should never be left alone for long, especially when they were anxious or distressed. They were bound to do something harsh. So he took off his jacket. 'You said you'd made dinner… I think I'll take you up on that after all.'

* * *

 **A.N.:** The dogs' names - Bubbles and Jackie - were all randomly chosen. They were the first names that came to mind when I was writing and I just went with them. In case anyone was wondering. :P


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Relena had honestly believed that – after seeing her display of emotion – Trowa would be more than eager to fly out the door, and that explains why she gaped at him when he suddenly agreed to stay for dinner. Did he just mean to contradict her at every turn? Or was he actually doing a selfless thing for once and offering her a distraction? It was only Jackie's bark and soft whining that brought her back to the present, to the fact that there was a man, who was more-or-less a stranger, standing in her very bedroom and to the reality that she had missed the chance to live what might have been the greatest love of her life.

'Would you like something to drink?' she offered him, feeling the abrupt need for a sip of something strong and mind numbing. Not that she didn't welcome the distraction Trowa provided.

'I'll drink anything.' He said and dropped his backpack and jacket on a dining chair on the way to the kitchen. 'Just nothing alcoholic.'

'Why? Are you underage?'

Trowa smirked, but did not buy into her forced joke. 'I'm driving and I—'

'I know. You're working tomorrow.' Over her shoulder she threw him a bored look and set out to dig through her cupboard. 'I hope you don't mind if I do though.'

'Go right ahead.'

'Seems you need a Jackie in your life too.' Relena sighed, relieved when she felt her fingers wrap around a rectangular shaped bottle at the very far back of the cabinet. The newly discovered disaster in her life deserved more than just simple wine.

'So I'll have work waiting for me at home as well as in the hospital?'

'No. So you'll have a reason to stay home more often.' She made sure to explain even though he was obviously mocking her. She opened the bottle and poured herself a shot of tequila. 'Sure you don't want one?'

'Positive.'

'Your loss.' She shrugged and tipped the glass all the way back. The alcohol burned its way to her stomach, washing all hope she had had that Heero might not have reciprocated her feelings and that they might not have wasted their chance at all.

'No lemon?' Trowa raised his eyebrows at her. 'Or salt?'

'Maybe with the next one. So… Water? Juice? Soda? Iced tea?'

'Soda's fine.'

Relena opened the fridge and listed his options. He chose a lemon flavoured soft drink and moved to sit at the isle while she heated up their dinner. 'Didn't think I knew how to cook, did you?'

'Well…' he clicked his tongue. 'You're a former queen… I thought you lived in a castle with servants waiting on their hands and knees.'

'And a chef.'

'A _starred_ chef.'

'Wouldn't that be nice?' she mused. 'I like cooking though. I find it very relaxing at the end of a long day, especially now that I have company.'

Jackie stared up at her from her post by the fridge, ever waiting for something delicious to slip from Relena's buttery fingers. 'The little ones are always the most ravenous.' Trowa commented absent-mindedly.

'That _is_ true, isn't it? My old dog, Bubbles, always ate so little… For his size at least.'

'You never mentioned you'd had a dog before.'

'What? You thought I was completely clueless? That explains your horror at my adopting a sick dog.' At that she smiled and he frowned. 'But I do have some experience.'

'What was he like? Your old dog?'

'He was a Sheep Dog. A puppy to the very end and quite patient too or he wouldn't have been able to put up with me as a kid. I had no sense of limit whatsoever and I pestered everyone relentlessly. I even pulled a rhino's tail during a safari once… I guess I'm lucky to be alive.' She laughed at herself. A shot of tequila on a practically empty stomach had been sure to loosen her tongue. She began moving the grilled chicken breasts to a plate, but stopped when she realised Trowa too was laughing at her…or chuckling rather.

'You really _were_ relentless.' He was forced to explain, shrugging when she raised her eyebrows at him. 'At least at fifteen.'

She dumped the buttered broccoli around the chicken and used the spoon plus a gentle wriggling motion to distribute them in a more attractive pattern. He was right, of course. Back then, she would have chased Heero to hell and back if she'd had to. Damn the consequences! And yet, after all that, she had somehow allowed him to slip through her fingers… She hadn't even noticed until it was too late.

'Just a moment.' She said after laying down the food and distributing the tableware. She found a lost lemon rolling in one of the bottom drawers of the fridge and this time had her shot the right way. Trowa watched with raised eyebrows, yet not particularly concerned and Relena was grateful that, at that moment, he neither looked nor acted like Heero at all.

'You're surely still as relentless as you are reckless.' He commented, resurrecting their conversation, when she began filling their plates.

Pleased, she smiled. 'So will you tell me your reasons? You know I won't give up till you do.'

She could not help noticing how he closed up right in front of her. It was a subtle change, but her trained eye could not have missed it even if she'd wanted to. That's why she had needed him to _drink_ with her.

'Maybe I'd like to see you try.' He smirked at last, only half-joking.

'Oh, no.' she pointed her fork at him as she shook her head. 'You want me out of your life remember? I never saw you… You were never there.'

'What about Jackie?'

She glanced down at her little companion. 'Well… I didn't know you wanted _her_ out of your life too.'

'Once I start something I must see it through.' Trowa told her seriously, as he clearly took everything work-related.

'Then we're stuck together for a while.'

'So it seems.'

'Does that mean you're not telling me anything?' Relena asked after chewing in silence for a moment. 'Why advertise it then?'

'I wasn't advertising. I merely meant to _clarify_ things for you.' She could not help but laugh. Did she need to tell him that he had clarified nothing? 'What's for afters?' he conveniently changed the subject.

'Won't you have seconds?'

'I'm not fit by chance.' Trowa told her matter-of-factly.

'I must have some ice cream in the freezer somewhere…'

'Then "no".'

'Dessert isn't exactly my strong suit.' She said simply. 'And what does it matter? You skipped dessert the other day too.'

He shrugged. 'I like dessert.'

'Don't tell me you've a sweet tooth? In all your _fitness_?'

'We all have our flaws.'

'Yeah, I guess we do.' She reached out to pour herself another shot of tequila. 'Mine is being completely clueless as to my own damn feelings.'

He was quiet as he watched her. Relena wondered if her swearing had rendered him speechless and ended up giggling at the thought. 'So you really didn't know then? About each other's feelings?'

She considered snapping at him. 'What's it to you all of a sudden?' she'd ask, but it was only a fleeting idea and she was still sober enough to let it play in her mind alone. 'No.' was what she told him, a plain honest answer. 'Two idiots we were.'

'I thought you were together.' Trowa commented without feeling. 'You were the last to leave the day of the funeral.'

'So I was.' She played with her glass wishing it wasn't empty and wondering, however vaguely, what he would think of her if she had a fourth drink. He surprised her by filling her glass himself.

'Nightcap.' He said and, despite the laidback tone he used, she knew it was both an order and a warning. And then he surprised her yet again by turning it into a sort of promise. 'And I'll give you my reasons for leaving everyone behind.'

'Alright.'

XXX

'I never had to worry about anyone but myself before the war.' Trowa began his explanation. He felt so uncomfortable he sounded fake to his own ears even though he was telling her the truth, yet the attentive way she watched him in her tequila induced stupor made him resume his speech. She would probably – hopefully – not remember a word of what he told her, but in the end they would still be even.

'Neither did I.' Relena smiled bitterly at whatever memory played behind her clouded eyes. Jackie barked at her, bringing her back to the present and she smiled as she picked up the little dog and placed it on her lap.

'Then I met Quatre. He was the first real friend I ever had. And there was Catherine too… She did not simply get me a job I could use as cover… She made me a home and cared about me. That was a first for me too. It was probably something they awakened within me that made me save Heero the day he self-destructed. Catherine helped me nurse him back to health and then he too became my friend. Anyway…' he cleared his throat. He hadn't expected to end up reminiscing at all, but had wanted his speech to be plain and straight to the point, so this was an unexpected turn. 'You get where I'm going with this.'

She looked up from Jackie's shaggy coat which she'd been messing up further and met his eyes, clearly light headed. 'Hmm… Not _really_.'

Trowa fought back the urge to sigh. This was for his benefit, right? It was yet another sign that she was sure to forget all he said that night. So he resumed his explanation. 'One day, I realised I'd gone from having no one to having friends and family, people I liked spending time with, people I _cared_ about and who cared about me. I was willing to give my _life_ to stop Quatre from ruining his. Do you realise how _scary_ that is?'

'Risking your life?'

'No, the simple fact that you are _willing_ to and for someone else's sake at that.' Relena appeared to think really hard about that, her eyes narrowed at him, but it could have merely been the alcohol sloshing in her brain. Trowa continued. 'I lost my memory after that which was, in fact, even worse than dying for I had to watch them suffer when I could not remember them. Catherine, Quatre… Even Duo. I felt awful for hurting them and being unable to do a single thing about it. And I don't want to be the reason why anybody has to suffer. Not anymore.'

To his horror, his audience actually seemed to be paying attention to him as he finished. She blinked at him, wide eyed – almost as if she were in shock – and put Jackie down before meeting his gaze with suddenly tearful eyes. 'Did I make Heero suffer all these years?' she asked in a whisper and, because that great woman looked so small to him right at that moment, Trowa did not know what to say. What would Heero have wanted him to say?

Her restraints loosened by the alcohol, she began to cry right in front of him. He had studied primates. He might not have been an expert, but he knew primates comforted each other through touch. So he stood, made his way around the isle and met Jackie's brown eyes seeking reassurance. But the dog appeared to be as confused as he was and so, because he knew naught else to do, he hugged her.

Relena clung to him for what felt like forever, shedding bitter tears. And, inwardly, Trowa felt like he was weeping right along with her. He felt the warmth of her in his arms, the silky texture of her hair against his hands and the wet spots her tears left on his chest. He glanced up at the ceiling and let out the deepest breath ever. It was as if a weight had just left his shoulders and he could finally breathe again. Confiding in her had relieved him and he knew now there'd be no going back.

XXX

Relena calmed down slowly. She had a vague awareness that it was Trowa she was hugging, but then – numbed by both the tequila and her emotional outburst – she couldn't have cared less. The horrid choking feeling that had been growing inside her chest was gone, replaced by a bone deep weariness.

'I'm sorry.' Was all she thought to say as she pulled away, sniffing lightly and rubbing at her wet cheeks.

Trowa said nothing, merely watched her with an impassive face. Relena tried to avoid his eyes and decided to focus on the dark spots she had left on his t-shirt. The silence stretched between them. Not so much uncomfortable as sympathetic. She did not know why she felt like he understood when he clearly wanted nothing to do with her, but she did and she was grateful for his presence at least for the moment.

'I should go.' He said when she'd nearly fallen asleep on her stool. 'Will you be alright?'

'I'll be fine.' Her voice came out colder and harsher than she'd intended, but then she could not shake off the feeling that his concern wasn't genuine. And she wouldn't have another person caring for her out of a sense of duty, she had enough bodyguards already.

'Alright.' He acknowledged somewhat awkwardly. 'Do call me if Jackie does anything unusual or…'

'I will.' She felt a little less disputatious at the mention of Jackie. The grateful feeling returned and she was glad that she could count on him. 'Thank you. Uh… How much do I owe you?'

'We can discuss figures later if you like.'

'I guess that would be for the better.' She nodded. 'Let me accompany you to the lift then.'

She was rather relieved to find she was steady enough on her feet to move without holding onto the furniture, despite the feeling that she was walking in slow motion. At the very least, Trowa did not make any comment on the way she moved. They made their way back and he collected his belongings before leaving the apartment.

'I'll call you next week. It may not be necessary for me to come all the way here.'

'Okay.'

There was a ding and the metal doors slid open. 'Thanks for dinner.' Were his last words before he disappeared from her sight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

'Hey, Barton!' Dr Linwood called from the receptionist's desk where he was – as usual – gossiping.

It was Monday night and Trowa was eager to go home, have a Spartan meal and do some decent studying for the next day's surgery. He was assisting his boss in the removal of a six pound tumour and they were cracking their minds trying to figure out how to close the skin – what little wold be left of it – afterwards. So he really did have some serious studying to do and had no time to waste with the other vet. The fact that they were colleagues however forced him to be civil and maintain a good relationship even when he'd rather be anything but.

'What is it, Linwood? I'm in a bit of a hurry.'

'Got a lady waiting at home?' the other man's insinuating tone and knowing smirk destroyed whatever attempts at civility Trowa had been willing to make. He knew bantering was a common display of friendship between men… He and Linwood weren't even remotely close to being friends.

'What's it to you?'

'Is it Ms Relena Darlian? I heard she came by a couple of times and asked for you, especially.'

Trowa's icy look had the big-mouthed secretary looking away in shame. They just could not keep their mouths shut. He approached Dr Linwood so they could speak in lower tones.

'She's just a client.'

'Is she?'

'And one that would prefer to remain _anonymous_.' He stressed, ignoring the other's interruption.

'I heard she checked her file out… Or, rather, _you_ did. Trying to steal the hospital's patients are you?' Dr Linwood's tone was still playful, but Trowa was no longer sure this was a harmless game they were playing.

'I told her to seek a clinician closer to her home. Or someone who would visit her dog at home.'

'Like you?'

'As if I had the time.' He snorted as if amused, but then immediately turned serious again. 'I only did what was best for my patient which is the least any of us should do. Now, if you'll excuse me.'

'Home visits to the dog, Barton? Or its owner?' Trowa heard the other man ask even as he walked away.

He did not turn around. He had known something like that would happen from the moment Relena first walked into the hospital looking for him. It was her fault, of course, for not leaving him alone when he'd asked her to, but he could neither blame her nor feel angry at her. After all, if he'd never gone to that damned burial… It was Heero's fault, he decided then. It was Heero's fault for dying and leaving her alone when she most definitely wasn't cut out for it. He had clearly thought of everything when it came to her safety, considered every possible outcome and taken all the precautionary measures… But when it came to her happiness he had been blinded.

XXX

Because Jackie was doing so well, Trowa's second visit was postponed and – in the two weeks between one visit and the other – Relena had all the time she needed to perfect the apology speech she would give him. And she did as soon as he stepped out of the lift and onto her floor.

She started by telling him how sorry she was for her behaviour the other night, then proceeded to condemn her own actions, making it look as if she felt a lot worse than she actually did, mentioning her upbringing and her mother, and finally she promised there would never be a repeat, apologised all over again and finished by inviting him to stay for dinner again.

Stunned by her long and sudden speech he ended up accepting. Probably just so she would stop talking, but Relena was satisfied. Her plan was working. Getting him to agree to dinner was only the first step… What she really meant to do was understand him better, his reasons too, and then find a way to try and help him see that cutting the people he cared for out of his life was not the way to go. She felt she owed it to him to do that and she was sure that was what Heero would have wanted too.

'Her vitals are all good.' Trowa told her as he let a shivering wide-eyed Jackie go and picked up his stethoscope. 'When you take her out how does she do?'

'I take her only around the block on weekdays… Security protocol does not allow me to go any further. Not that lack of time doesn't play a part in that too. But she doesn't really get tired.'

'That castle with wide gardens would have come in handy right now, huh?'

'Well, maybe when I retire.' She returned his smirk with one of her own. 'Last weekend I took her to the park though and she walked a good half hour before she tired.'

'Good.' He nodded, taking notes on his mobile.

Relena could sense he was distracted, his mind only half present. Maybe it wasn't her place to ask, but then if he no longer had friends around then she was the closest thing he had to one and there was no use helping him only partially. Worst case scenario, she could pretend she was asking as a client worried that he might not be doing his work to its utmost.

'You seem a little distracted today.' She commented as if remarking on the weather.

'Do I?' Trowa wondered not taking his eyes off his phone. After another moment he pocketed it. 'I'm sorry. It's nothing you need concern yourself with.'

'Too late.' She crossed her arms as if demanding an explanation. His eyes narrowed lightly. 'Oh, come on, Trowa. What could be worse than what you told me the other day?'

He blinked at her for a second before he started packing his things. 'So you remember all that?' there was a bitter sort of amusement to the question and he did seem to let out a quiet chuckle at some internal joke she was not privy to.

'Of course I do! I _can_ hold my liquor, you know. I find it essential in my line of work. People are always trying to get me drunk so I'll agree to back up some shady enterprise or make a fool of myself so they can discredit me…'

'Or get into your pants.'

She turned to him a little horrified at the suggestion. Not that it wasn't true but because he was snickering to himself as if he thought it absurd that anyone would want to bed her. 'I can assure you they'd be honoured to get into my pants.'

'I'm sure they're sealed real tight.'

Relena gapped at him, but that was as much outrage as she was willing to display. He had changed the subject as he was wont to do and now it was her turn to show him she wasn't as gullible as he thought.

'Is it a girlfriend? Is that why you're distracted? Was it supposed to be a one night stand but now she wants more and you don't know what to do to get rid of her?'

He shook his head, frowning at her as if she were beyond his comprehension. 'You've quite an imagination hidden in there.'

'So I'm right?' her smile widened and Trowa chuckled. They both knew that wasn't it.

'Yeah. You're right.' He agreed dismissively. 'Can we eat now? I cannot be long.'

'What? You're working tomorrow again?' she asked incredulous.

'Why did you think I'd come at night?'

'So you could fully enjoy your day off?' He snorted and made his way past her, heading straight to the kitchen. 'Do you _ever_ take a day off?'

'Not if I can help it.'

'God… You're worse than Heero.'

'You flatter me.'

She paused in front of the cupboard and turned to look at him. 'Does that mean you won't be drinking tonight either?' he merely gave her a look. 'How can I make you share your secrets with me if you won't drink?' When she stood, with a bottle of wine in hand, after waiting for Jackie to get out of the way, she saw he had a wide smirk on. 'What?'

'Are you trying to get into my pants?'

'As if I would.' She snorted, turning back around to hide the beginnings of a blush. She opened the bottle herself and poured the wine into her glass. 'You haven't told me about the girlfriend yet.'

'There is no girlfriend.'

'Really?' she feigned surprise, opening the oven to check on the lasagne before taking a can of grape flavoured soda to him unasked. 'What is troubling you then?'

Trowa shrugged as if it no longer mattered whether she knew or not. 'Just an annoying co-worker bugging me on my coming here.'

'Why?' Relena pulled herself a stool and sat even though the food was waiting to be served. His problem sounded serious and she had never meant to cause him trouble. 'Does your contract not allow you to see patients outside the hospital?'

'No. I _am_ allowed actually.' He turned the can in his hands. 'But pricks will always be pricks.'

She turned the wine in her glass, wondering if he was being completely honest. He did not have reasons to spare her feelings, did he? With Heero she would have known, he had become as clear as glass to her, but Trowa was another matter altogether. 'You want me to consult someone else? Because I could do that, I mean… Jackie is doing well and I don't want to inconvenience you.'

'You already have.' He shrugged, brutally honest. 'If we gave up now it'll have all been for naught. Besides, I like to see my cases through.'

'You already said that.' Relena tried not to take his callousness personally, but to find comfort in his candour. She fetched the lasagne and zigzagged around Jackie to lay it on the isle between their place mats.

'You didn't seem to get it.'

'But I _did_.' And then throwing down her oven mitts. 'I hope you like lasagne.'

'I do actually.'

'Good.' She allowed that to placate her for the moment. It was good to see her food eaten with such gusto.

XXX

As they ate their servings in silence, Trowa realised he had actually began to enjoy the time he spent with her. Their bantering, which he had at first meant to drive her away, seemed to have turned into a sort of sport, a game between them that both were eager to win. Maybe he should not have indulged himself… No, he most definitely shouldn't, but he told himself it was only for a short time anyway. Two or three years until Jackie was no longer with them.

'You know,' Relena began as she served them both a second slice. 'I understand why you left and cut everyone out of your life but that didn't stop either you or them from caring and the proof is that, even after Heero died, you still showed. Distance can't erase feelings once developed.'

'Maybe not.' He conceded. The topic of conversation did not please him, but he had already expected her to approach it. For all he knew about that woman, he knew she wanted to create a happy world one person at a time… Even though she forgot her own happiness at times. 'But it can dampen them.'

'Can it? Is that why you live so close to Preventers' headquarters? A place to which all your old friends converge from time to time?'

Trowa snickered as her face disappeared behind her wine glass. He no longer had hopes of getting her drunk, especially not after a single glass of wine. 'You fail to see the point entirely. Not that I hadn't expected that, after all this is not your area of expertise, but still… I'd expected more from you.'

'Oh, truly? I'm sorry for disappointing you then. Would you, please, enlighten me as to your… mysterious reasons?'

Her annoyance amused him beyond anything he could have ever imagined. The way her eyebrows knitted and her lower lip protruded just a bit… She looked like a little girl and the simple image of a peevish Relena was enough to entertain him. So he did enlighten her.

'Have you ever read Edgar Allan Poe?'

She gaped incredulously at him and her arms, which she had crossed tightly, slackened. 'What has that got to do with anything?'

'Have you? Or haven't you?' Trowa insisted, raising an eyebrow.

'Of course I have. Back in school.'

'Are you familiar with the story "The Purloined Letter"?'

'Maybe.' She shook her head meaning: 'How do you expect me to remember?'

'In that story, Dupin goes to a thief's house in search of a stolen letter. Do you know where it was hidden?'

'In the safe?' Relena guessed with little interest.

'No. Over the mantle, in a paper holder and right at plain sight. That's the best place to hide. Under people's noses.'

'And you honestly wish me to believe that's why you live only an hour's drive from HQ?'

'It is the truth.' He shrugged. 'Whether you believe it or not makes little difference to me.'

'You're very good at lying to yourself.' She informed him with propriety.

He smirked. 'Is that what you think?'

'Indeed it is.' Relena turned to her food so Trowa did the same with another shrug. After they were both finished and even the drinks were gone, she met his eye again with graveness. 'Even if you push the old people away, you cannot help caring about new people.'

'I can try.' He assured her and he was more than confident that he could also succeed. In ten years he had not added a single person to the list of people he cared about. 'I am better at it than you can even imagine.'

'But what if you fail? Will you move away again? Start over from scratch yet another time?'

Yet again, Trowa shrugged. As unlikely as that was he considered the possibility seriously. 'If I must.'

'You're out of your mind.'

'So what's for dessert?'

She made a gesture with her hands as if to show how hopeless he was, then shook her head clear of their whole discussion. 'There is still ice cream in the freezer.'

'Then that's my cue to leave.'

'Are you serious? Just like that?' the sudden outrage in her tone made Jackie start barking.

'Just like that.'

'As if this was a restaurant?'

'A restaurant would have had dessert, but you may put the dinner on my tab.'

Relena shushed the dog and crossed her arms. She seemed to have reached some kind of decision. ' _You_ bring dessert next time if it's really that important. And take a proper day off so you may drink.'

'So there'll be a next time then?' he asked unable to hide his surprise. She really was relentless and nothing seemed to faze her long enough to stop her.

'I'm still going to convince you that you are making a mistake.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

'So how's the dog doing?' Chris asked as they walked together into the office that morning. The secretary was organizing the piles of paper on her desk and Relena paused at the door to her own office to consider her answer.

'Oh, she's doing great. She's not very cuddly, but she follows me everywhere when I'm home.' She smiled to herself at the image of Jackie, sitting on her kitchen floor ever waiting for something juicy to fall within reach… That image was permanently etched into Relena's brain. 'And I think the daily strolls are really doing me good.'

'What about the vet?' her secretary asked, full of curiosity, when she turned away to step into her office.

'What about him?'

'Well, I hear he is no ordinary vet…'

Relena hurried back like lightning and bent over Chris' desk. 'Who told you that?'

'Carlos said he drove you to an Edward Dyce Animal Hospital… Don't be angry at him. That was really all he said. He was just mumbling about why you couldn't have chosen a closer vet to take your dog to… But I know you and I know you have a reason for everything, so I looked up the hospital and discovered that a certain Trowa Barton works there. It's him, isn't it?'

'Yes, it's him.'

'Wasn't he a gun…' she was silenced by her boss' hard look. 'You really do have a thing for them, don't you?'

'It's not like that.' Relena wasn't angry, despite the fact that she felt she had every right to be. The sudden reminder of a former gundam pilot she would never see again left her feeling only tired… Besides she knew Chris meant no harm. After all, they were friends. 'And, please, don't say a word about him to anyone.'

'I wouldn't dream of it.' The secretary swore as her boss walked back into her office. 'I just wanted to see you happy again.'

With those words still ringing in her ears, Relena took Jackie for her walk around the block that early evening. Of course she wasn't completely happy… She'd just lost her best friend. A month may have already passed, but what was a month compared to all the years she had loved him? All the years he'd been there for her even when he wasn't physically present? Was another man really what was missing? Chris seemed to think so… Her mother however thought it was still too soon. And could Trowa be that man?

'He's even more complicated than Heero was…' she scowled, making Jackie pause and tilt her furry head in confusion. 'Sorry. I was talking to myself.'

Maybe once she had helped him and he was open to caring for others and being cared for… If it even was within her power to help him… Maybe then she might consider seeing him in a new light, giving the two of them a chance.

'Maybe if he stops provoking and annoying me.' She complained to Jackie, who now knew better than to pay her any mind.

XXX

It was only when Trowa stepped into the lift on his way to Relena's apartment that he realised he had no idea what he was doing there. Did he really believe Jackie needed a check-up every other week? No. She was doing way better than that. So was he just using her as an excuse to feel useful in his off day? No, that wasn't it either. He had enough reports to busy himself with at home. Then there was only one possible answer to that horrid question… He was there because he _wanted_ to be.

But why?

As the doors dinged open and he saw Relena standing there he knew exactly why. She was beautiful and welcoming and he was lonely, so instinct determined he feel drawn towards her. The biological meaning of life was simply to perpetuate one's genes and nature had its way of ensuring that. She also happened to be intellectually stimulating, he liked the word games they played… So that's why he was there... Guided by instinct and tedium.

'You'll stay for lunch, I'm sure.' Was how she greeted him.

'Will there be dessert? I didn't know there was going to be lunch so I haven't brought any.'

'I told you dessert is not my forte.' She shrugged. 'But you could accompany Jackie and me on our morning walk and we could purchase something. There's a patisserie a couple blocks away.'

'Well…' he paused on his way past her and was rather pleased to see she stood her ground, smiling confidently up at him as he loomed, smirking, over her. 'Why not?'

He found Jackie in her king sized doggy bed and that's where he examined her despite the initial snarls she sent his way. Relena was appalled by the dog's behaviour, something Trowa found quite funny. He would hate anyone who poked and probed him too.

'So?' Jackie's zealous guardian asked as he stood.

'No changes.' Trowa gave her a genuine smile to show that was a good thing. 'I think we can decrease the visits to one a month.'

At that Relena was quiet, thoughtful. He put away his things, took notes on his mobile and waited for her to speak, but when she did it was simply that she was getting Jackie ready for their stroll. Shrugging, he made his way back to the living room to wait.

The walk itself was uneventful. The patisserie was a little further than they usually walked, but Trowa watched Jackie closely and she showed little signs of fatigue and that was only when they were almost back to Relena's apartment complex. He took her heart and respiratory frequencies again and assured his client it was alright to push the dog a little, as long as it was only once in a while. To push her too often might cause a disequilibrium that hospitalization alone might be able to fix and that was the last thing they wanted for Jackie.

Relena paid close attention to everything he said and he was content knowing that he could trust her to take good care of his patient. She bought _mille-feuille_ for them to eat with the ice cream and, though Trowa would have preferred something with chocolate in it, he thought a light dessert was better than none. They made small talk while they were out, but the conversation turned serious again as soon as they were back and he had finished re-examining Jackie.

'I understand what you told me about hiding in plain sight, but I still don't see how you could hide from Preventers.' She did sound like she had given it serious thought and he could not help smirking as he answered.

'That's easy. The reason Preventers haven't found me is because they never looked for me in the first place.'

'Why not?'

'For starters, that's not what Preventers is for.' He paused as he replaced his stethoscope in his backpack. 'And I have someone on the inside who would have stopped them if they tried.'

'Someone on the inside?' Relena frowned. 'So there's someone else from the past who knows where you are?'

'Not where I am, just that I don't want to be found.'

She let Jackie off her harness while she pondered his words. 'You won't tell me who it is, will you?'

'So you can team up in proving me wrong?'

'Never mind. I've a good idea who it is.'

Trowa could not help but feel a little tense as he followed her into the kitchen. The dog was already there, drinking water from a bowl by the fridge. Relena topped her up as he thought of a way to change the subject and, hopefully, take her mind away from its inconvenient pursuits.

'Shouldn't you have a bodyguard to accompany you on your strolls?'

'I promised to walk only around the block where Heero had surveillance cameras installed.'

'You went further than that today.'

'But we weren't unaccompanied, were we?' she smirked at him and set out to prepare whatever she had in mind for their lunch. He glanced at the clock on the wall. It wasn't even eleven yet so she had plenty of time to grill him as well. He had to hold back a frustrated growl as he realised he should probably have never agreed to that stupid lunch.

XXX

Relena gave the clock on the wall a brief glance before setting out to start her lunch. She'd decided on roasted chicken with sautéed vegetables. 'So I guess you may drink today, huh?' she threw a smile over her shoulder as she thrust the roast into the oven.

'Not much.' He immediately countered. 'I'm still driving.'

'Oh, but you can stay all the way till dinner if you need. The alcohol will have surely worn off by then.'

'And then you'll ask me what I want to drink with dinner and offer me to stay till breakfast?' Trowa had a meaningful smirk on and its intended meaning wasn't lost on Relena at all.

'I am _not_ trying to get in your pants.' She reiterated, sending an exhausted look his way. She then washed the potatoes and dumped them on a pan full of water. When she turned around to ask him what he wanted to drink he had the weirdest smile on his lips. It made her wary.

'How about a drinking contest then?'

'A drinking contest?'

'You said you can hold your liquor. Well… I say I can hold mine too.'

'What are you trying to pull off?' she could not help but feel incredulous. First he didn't want to drink at all and now… What was he scheming? Did he think he could make her forget her plans of convincing him that he was making a mistake?

'Nothing.' Was his innocent answer. Relena thought he was a deuced good liar. 'Is there any tequila left?'

'In the cupboard. At the far back.'

Shaking her head, she resumed her preparations as he dug through her cabinets first in search of spirits then in search of glasses. He was quite fast to find everything he needed, including the lemon and the salt. She could not help but stare at him when he came to her with a shot at the ready.

'The sooner we start, the sooner we'll finish.' He told her with a shrug.

'You first then.' She motioned the drink towards him. Trowa complied. Relena watched him closely still trying to find the catch, but she saw nothing suspicious about the way he drank. He held her gaze as he tipped his glass and she found herself somewhat breath-taken by the sparkle in his eye.

'How about a bet?' he watched her very closely too as she accepted the refilled glass. For reasons she did not yet deem to consider, she made a very slow show out of drinking it.

'So you're a gambling man too?' Relena teased.

'Too much time at the circus.'

'What do you wish to bet?'

'If I win, you drop the matter of my leaving altogether.'

'And if _I_ win?'

Trowa shrugged again. 'Whatever you want.'

She did not have to think twice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Trowa wasn't a hundred percent sure of his plan, but he decided it was his best shot at getting Relena out of his hair. He only had to beat her and she would stick to her word and leave well enough alone.

'And no word on my leaving until this contest is over.' He added before they started officially.

'Alright. I'll have you listen to everything I have to say when I win anyway.'

'Confident are we?' he smirked as he poured himself a second shot. 'Well, let me tell you… When _I_ win we'll never have to talk about it again.'

She watched him with a sort of amusement as he drank his fill then poured her another glass. 'We'll see.'

He could not help watching her as she went about the kitchen. She added carrots and courgette to the pot where she had placed the potatoes then put on the lid and turned up the heat. When she finally returned to the isle it was to dump a pile of things in front of him. 'What's all this?'

'Help me set the table in the dining room.'

'I thought I was your guest.'

'So?'

'Isn't it impolite to put the guests to work?'

Relena rolled her eyes at him, something he found quite amusing. 'Would you, please, set the dinner table while I prepare some hors d'oeuvre for us to nibble on? We cannot keep drinking on empty stomachs.'

Trowa stood up and carried the table cloth, place mats and silverware with him to the dining room. 'I will, but only because I want you to keep drinking.' He made sure to inform her.

'Wow… Thank you.'

As he set the table in the dining room, Trowa wondered if he hadn't underestimated the attraction he felt towards his cunning host… And if, in underestimating that attraction, he hadn't bitten more than he could chew. Had Relena noticed? Surely she would use that against him if she knew? She was a diplomat after all and a very smart one at that. Or maybe… Just maybe, she might reciprocate and then he too would be able to use their attraction as a weapon, recovering the natural advantage he knew he had. And if she didn't, perhaps he could seduce her…

Jackie sat at the foot of the sideboard, staring intently at him as if she knew everything that went through his head and were condemning him for his nefarious plans. It wasn't wrong of him, was it? He'd merely be acting upon an attraction he felt. Just a man trying to woo a woman like so many other men before him.

He returned to the kitchen, pretending he hadn't see the dog at all. Relena seemed to be done with the preparations for the time being and sat at the isle thumbing through an old cookbook. She tried to hide the page when he narrowed his eyes at it, but made a poor job of it. Trowa could not help the smug smile. He knew now he was on the right path and victory was only a matter of time.

'I just thought it'd be interesting to try something new next time.' She hurriedly justified, uncovering the desserts page as he took his seat. Her blush only confirmed his suspicions.

'I didn't say anything.' He shrugged, feigning disinterest, and reached for the bottle to pour them both another shot of tequila. 'I promise not to judge your skills too harshly though.'

'I never said I'd be cooking it for you.'

'You've someone else you're interested in, then?' Trowa sounded both curious and amused.

'I'm not interested in _any_ one.' Relena haughtily informed.

'Pity.' Now acting as if her answer was of little consequence, he filled the glass and realised there would not be enough for two shots to make them even.

'Why?' his host could not contain her curiosity.

'No reason.' Trowa pretended to be more concerned about the emptying bottle of tequila, but she could see he was hiding something… 'Is there another bottle?'

'No, I'm afraid not.' Relena allowed herself to be distracted. 'The tequila's just… In case of an emergency. Usually, I just have a glass of wine.'

'Why don't we play a game then? The loser takes the shot.'

'A game inside another?'

He shrugged. 'Why not? It'll be short.'

She sighed as if tired of his antics though they both knew better. Trowa wondered, for a second, if she could see past his deceptive moves the way he saw through hers… 'What kind of game?'

'Do you have a deck of cards?'

'No.'

'That's fine. I should have one in my backpack.'

'A deck of cards?' she asked, perplexed, as he stood to make his way to the living room where he'd left his belongings.

'You never know when you might need one.'

'A deck of cards?'

'Yes.'

'What for?' she was forced to enquire as he kept playing the fool and giving her short, generic answers. 'Gambling?'

Trowa could not help but laugh at her raised eyebrows. Did she worry about everyone the way she worried about him? Probably. They barely knew each other after all… The attraction he – maybe _they_ – felt was simply the result of hormones and loneliness.

'I don't have a gambling problem.' He assured her still chuckling. 'Sometimes you need a disguise, a diversion…or an ice breaker. A magic trick can do that for you, for example. But there's nothing a professional can't achieve with a decent stack of cards.'

XXX

Relena tried not to get distracted by Trowa's smile. It was a smug, cunning smile, but it was still wider than she'd ever seen on his face. She refused to let herself be swooned by it though. If he really wanted to beat her he would have to work a lot harder.

'You use card tricks to pick up women.' she tediously resumed his colourful explanation.

'Sometimes.' He shrugged, but it was clear to her now that _that_ was the actual reason why he carried a stack of cards with him at all times… Was that what he was trying to do to her too? No... He couldn't possibly be interested in her now, could he? No. He was trying to fool her, to win their bet and get out of having to think about the decisions he'd made. She wondered if she should just ask… Would it unsettle him? Relena doubted it. He had accused her of trying to get in his pants and hadn't even blushed.

'So what is this game you want us to play?'

'Let me get my cards and I'll show it to you.'

She exchanged an exasperated look with Jackie, as Trowa left the kitchen, and went to check on the food. It would all be ready by one o'clock, she figured. Could she beat him by then? Or would she need more time? What should she do? The dog watched her every move attentively, but offered no advice. Not that Relena thought Jackie could read minds… And she wouldn't dare speak up and risk Trowa overhearing.

By the time he returned she was back at the isle, looking as if she hadn't moved at all. She put away the old cookbook as he shuffled the cards, his fingers moving fast and nimbly like an old croupier's. Relena was quite sure that little show was all for her benefit.

'Is that how you woo them?' she wondered sceptically.

'Why? Is it working?'

She could not help but laugh at him, though the expert way he handled those cards and the fact that he'd said he did magic tricks with them were gnawing at her… She knew a couple card games, but didn't have much practice… Could he cheat? Or, rather, _would_ he?

'How about…' she cut in when he moved to hand out the cards and saw him freeze, his hands midway towards her side of the isle. 'We play chess?'

'Chess?' Trowa frowned though it only took him a moment to follow her line of thought. Relena feared he might be offended, but as usual he seemed to be amused. 'Afraid I'll cheat?'

'Well… Yes, actually.'

'You don't think I'm good enough to beat you fair and square?'

'Oh, I'm quite sure you are.' She dismissed his concerns with feigned exasperation, hoping he would prefer to agree with her rather than to chance her losing her patience. She forgot he wasn't one of her employees… Not _exactly_. He sat there, eyebrows raised, and waited for her to elaborate. 'But I also think you're good enough to cheat without my noticing and that it would be too good an opportunity for you to pass up… Especially seeing as you have so much to gain from your victory.'

Trowa cocked his head as he considered her words. Relena thought he looked a lot like Jackie and smiled to herself. At last his mouth made a quick twist, a kind of shrug of the lips, as he shook his head in agreement. 'You've got a point.'

'So…chess?' she beamed hopefully, her final strike at convincing him, yet he still hesitated. 'Afraid you'll lose?'

That did it. Just as she knew it would.

Trowa put down the deck of cards and crossed his arms, managing to somehow lean back without falling off the backless stool. He stared challengingly at her down his nose. 'Bring it on.'

She made her way to the dining room and found the old chess set abandoned in one of the sideboard drawers. It had belonged to her dad, a present from her biological father according to Pagan, and she treasured it way too much to leave it out in the open. When she laid it on the kitchen isle, very carefully, she noticed Trowa had found the wine bottle she had left on the counter the night before and poured them both a glass.

'No need for us to stop drinking while we duel.'

Relena ignored him, though she did sip on the wine between laying down the chess pieces and nibbling on the hors d'oeuvre she'd prepared earlier. Trowa did the same.

'You start.' She informed him, sitting back to watch his first move.

'I thought white was _your_ colour.'

'You did, did you?' fighting back a smug smile she too made her first move. He was underestimating her. Men always did. It just wasn't something they could help doing and when Relena had realised that fact she'd stopped feeling angry and learned how to take advantage of it instead.

She watched his smile melt as they played, replaced by the poker face of a focused player, but by the time he started taking her seriously she had already wound her trap around him. Trowa conceded defeat with a smile, that was both amused and resigned, as well as the usual shrug.

'Best out of three?' he tried half-heartedly for they both knew she wouldn't relent. Relena merely pushed the glass of tequila towards him and he downed it without a second thought. 'Where did you learn to play?'

'My family's butler, Pagan, was my mentor in many things.' She smiled fondly at the memories. 'He worked for the Peacecrafts before their downfall and taught my brother as well. Not just chess, of course.'

'I'll remember not to underestimate him…or _you_ ever again.'

'You'd do well not to.'

They played a second match after that, which Trowa won, and then he taught her a couple of his card games. All that while they avoided any and all touchy subjects, focusing on discussing politics and drinking. Around half way through her third glass of wine Relena stood to take the roast from the oven and finish the vegetables. It was when she realised she was already tipsy. She glanced at Trowa and wondered if he'd noticed… Surely he had to be worse than she was? They had had exactly the same amount of alcohol except for that one extra tequila shot he'd taken… He'd had more cheese than her though…

'How do we tell who's won?' she asked before she could stop herself.

'Whoever falls first loses.'

'But then shouldn't you stand whenever I stand and vice versa?'

He paused. 'Yes, you're right.'

Relena watched him stand. She paid close attention to his hands, noticing how they clung to the top of the isle. So they were _at least_ even, she mused, turning around to sauté the vegetables. 'Isn't whoever falls first a rather… _dangerous_ criterion?'

'Maybe.'

'How about…' she stopped when the spoon fell from her hand and hit the floor with a slap. Her eyes met Trowa's. Should she try to pick it up? Or would she fall? Before she could make up her mind, Jackie was already there, lapping at the spoon with her tiny pink tongue. 'Well.'

Trowa chuckled. Relena did not get it, but she ignored him and reached for a clean spoon instead. 'What were you saying?' he asked and appeared to be only vaguely aware that she'd been saying anything at all.

'I…' she turned to him with assuredness, but froze and frowned when she couldn't recall what she had been saying. It took her a long minute but, at last, the conversation came back to her and she beamed victoriously at him. 'How about we try to walk on a straight line?'

'What for?'

'To determine who's won, of course! Whoever makes the highest number of mistakes loses.'

'Right now?'

'What do you think?'

'I think something's burning.'

'Damn it!' Relena turned hurriedly back to the stove, pushing the vegetables around with her spoon before she took the pan off the burner. Because she'd whipped her head around too fast the world, or rather the kitchen, swam dangerously around her for a long moment. Thankfully, however, she managed to stay on her feet _and_ save her side dish. She thought she deserved to win this thing already. Trowa was laughing at her so heartily, she didn't think he'd be able to stop. 'I say we end this now.' She shouted afraid he might not hear her otherwise.

When he finally managed to stop laughing he seemed to wobble on his feet and had to use the isle to steady himself. His face immediately gained a serious, scrunched up look. 'That's some strong wine you've got there.' He complained.

'It's Marsala. You use it for cooking rather than drinking, but I didn't think it was polite to tell you.'

'I think we should eat before we end this.'

'That's because you _know_ you're going to lose, isn't it?'

XXX

Trowa had overestimated himself. That much was true. It had been a while since he had had any alcohol besides the occasional beer, but he was not ready to throw in the towel just yet and that was why he needed to eat a little more before they decided who'd won. He had had a much larger fill of appetizers than Relena, but he wasn't sure they had been enough to even the score between them… It seemed he'd have to risk it tough or he'd be admitting he was already too sloshed to walk on a straight line.

'That's because I wish to give _you_ a chance, but if you still feel like deciding the winner right away…' he shrugged. The ball was back with Relena now, which gave him just a little more hope that the decision might be postponed.

'If we do this _after_ we eat…' she started and had to stop to collect her thoughts. Maybe Trowa had a chance after all. 'And we _fall_ …'

'What?'

'We might vomit.'

'Don't you think we'll vomit anyway?'

'Then why eat at all?' Relena asked with a frown.

He wondered if it would be better or worse if they ate… There was a very reasonable scientific explanation in his head somewhere, but he just could not find it. His thoughts were in a muddle, so he shrugged. Something dinged on the background and he watched her turn around very slowly to take the roast out of the oven, she fumbled with the mittens a little too long.

'Let's do it now.' He said. 'And then have water with the food.'

'You really think we should eat?' his host was still worried about getting sick. Their contest seemly forgotten.

'I'll eat.' Trowa shrugged again. There was a voice deep inside his head that told him it'd be wise to eat a little more… He wasn't sure he could trust it completely, but he wasn't quite as afraid of retching as she was. In fact, considering the amount they'd drunk, that might not be so bad for their health either… 'So where…?'

It took Relena a moment to understand what he meant. He wanted to know where they'd be testing their sobriety – or lack thereof – or what straight line they'd be facing. She didn't seem to know, had clearly not thought things through. So he glanced around, feeling sorry for her, however briefly, and noticed the kitchen floor was covered in square shaped tiles, the width of his foot, that formed straight lines everywhere.

'Let's do it here.' He said still looking at the floor.

'Here?'

'There's a straight line of tiles leading from the door to the sink. Can you see it?'

'I think I can.' She said squeezing her eyes at the spotless white floor. Jackie watched them from the foot of the refrigerator where she lied, only her eyes following them as if she was only half interested.

'Let me go first and you'll see.'

'See you fall?' Relena smirked, but then went serious as he dragged his feet to the door. 'Stop, Trowa. You might hit your head! There's the isle, and the fridge, and…'

'I'll be fine.' He waved his hand dismissively and nearly lost his balance for it. 'I've walked the tightrope many times.' And, even though he'd never done so drunk, he was willing to take his chances.

When he let go of the threshold he immediately missed it. The whole room seemed to tip sideways, but his goal was only ten or so steps away and with enough focus he was sure he'd make it. Relena said nothing and he knew she hadn't noticed a thing. Time moved a lot faster for her as she watched than it did for him as he moved. He set out to reach the sink, opening his arms as he did on the tightrope when he needed to steady himself. It worked better than he'd thought it would and, even though the kitchen still rocked around him, he still beelined to the empty spot beside Relena.

Like a pro.

'See?' Trowa could not help the smug smile. Not only had he made it but he felt victorious already.

'From what I saw, out of ten steps you took, six were off.'

He frowned, not quite believing her, but she was so serious when she said it that could only mean she was worried about her own performance. Besides she wasn't exactly the kind of person who would lie themselves into a victory.

'I'll make the reverse way.' She informed him, preparing to set off. Then explained: 'Because I'm here already.'

Trowa scooted over so she could take his place. She looked confident and he could only hope she was as deluded about her drunken capabilities as he had been. With some reluctance, Relena pushed away from the counter and took a couple unsteady steps forward. It was when he noticed the spoon lying there, on the floor, right by the line she was threading. Would Relena see it? What if she tripped? She might hit her head on the isle, or the refrigerator, or…

'Watch out!' he moved as fast as his numb limbs would carry him and the spring was still quick enough to knock him completely off balance. The floor rushed up to meet him and, as he stumbled forward awkwardly trying to avoid the inevitable fall, he hit Relena, who had turned around after hearing his shout, and dragged her down with him.

It took his brain at least twice as long as usual to make sense of where he was and what had happened. He could hear Jackie's hysterical barking mixed with Relena's inebriated laughter. The dog had avoided being crushed and stood to their side clearly unhappy about the fright they'd given her. Then he turned to check on his amused host and found she was right underneath him, legs entwined with his, bellies flush together, their noses nearly brushing as he tuned his head... And in his stupor he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

She too seemed to suddenly realise just how close they were and, as their eyes met, the laughter died in her throat. 'Shhh!' she turned to Jackie for a second and the dog let out a few anxious whines as she settled down. Then Relena turned back to Trowa as if ready to give one of her mind-numbing apology speeches.

So he kissed her before she could start.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It was Jackie's barking that brought Relena back to reality. If not for the dog she thought they might have gone on forever, forgotten who they were even. When she gently pushed Trowa away and saw the confused look on his face she almost wished they had. Instead she turned to Jackie and shushed her before she drove them all mad. The dog paused for a second, as if waiting for something to happen, perhaps for them to pull away from each other, but when everything remained the same she resumed.

'Quiet! Jackie, quiet!' Relena insisted and, looking offended, Jackie scurried away. With a sigh she settled back down, the tiles were cold against her back, but she still felt too light headed to move. Never mind that Trowa had yet to pull away himself. The troubled look on his face worried her. 'Are you alright? Did you hit your head?'

'No.' he shook said head, frowning. 'You?'

'No.' she waited for him to move off of her, yet he remained right where he was. He too seemed to be waiting for her to make a move. _What_ move Relena could not say. Starting to feel a little awkward she resorted to a bit of humour in an attempt to make him snap out of his stupor. 'Should we call this a draw then?'

'A draw?'

'Or will you concede me the victory since you were the one to knock me down?'

'Knock you down? I may have just saved your life!'

'Saved my life?' seeing her incredulity he pointed at the spoon lying harmlessly a foot from them. 'You thought I'd trip on it? I _knew_ it was there.' When he didn't say anything, she changed her strategy. 'Are you trying to cheat? Because if that's the case then—'

'I'm not trying to do anything.' Trowa countered and, because she'd never seen him genuinely lose his patience before, she went silent.

At least for a moment.

'What should we do then?' she insisted and he suddenly avoided her eyes. Relena thought he looked meek but, because the simple notion of a meek Trowa was ludicrous, she followed his gaze hoping to find something out of place. She didn't. 'Well?'

His confidence restored, he whipped his head back and his gleaming eye bore into hers. 'I thought we might continue what we were doing… Before we get too sober to.'

'What we were… Oh.'

She knew she'd wanted the kiss to go on forever, yet that had been before; when she'd been lost in the middle of it. What did she want now? True she wasn't quite as drunk as _he_ seemed to be but… What if she regretted it afterwards anyway? What if _he_ did? He surely wasn't in his right mind. But then… Hadn't he been flirting with her earlier, _before_ he got drunk? Relena looked into his expecting eyes trying to read his mind, to understand what he was thinking, yet she found no clue whatsoever and was left with no idea as to what she ought to do.

'Would you rather regret going through with this or not?' Trowa asked her suddenly. It rang with the words her mother had told her not long ago… _I just don't want you to make the same mistake again._ And Relena knew what she did not want to regret.

'What about lunch?' she asked anyway, still divided.

'Dinner.' He corrected her. He was clearly determined. If moved by alcohol or something else though, she could not tell. Regardless of his motives, he waited for her to be sure of what she wanted.

'Alright.' Relena took a deep breath. 'No more regrets.'

'No more regrets.' Trowa agreed and the smile that twisted his lips was one that she didn't know what to make of. Thankfully, however, he did not give her enough time to ponder least of all change her mind. When he kissed her again, she knew she'd made the right decision.

XXX

When Trowa woke up it was already dark. It took him a moment to recall where he was and what had happened… Once he'd made sure Relena wasn't with him in her queen sized bed, he ran a hand up his face and through his hair. What had he done?

It didn't matter that once Jackie was gone he wouldn't need to see her again. She wasn't just any woman and she was certainly not the kind of woman you could just sleep with and leave unscathed. The only reason he'd tried to seduce her was because he thought she'd never surrender to him, that she was as hard as a rock, but she had turned the tables on him somewhere, somehow… What was he supposed to do now? She'd become the lover he could not get rid of, as she had herself described. And even if he did manage to 'get rid' of her… Wouldn't Heero come back from wherever he was and strike Trowa dead?

A lamp suddenly being lit brought him out of his reverie and he moved his forearms away from his face to see Relena standing by the door. 'Oh, good. You're awake.' She smiled. It was an ordinary smile neither regretful nor especially devoted and he felt somewhat relieved. 'Dinner is served.'

'You should've woken me up sooner.' He complained for lack of something better to say.

'I thought you needed the sleep. You don't seem to get enough rest on a daily basis.' Relena merely shrugged as if all that thoughtfulness towards him meant nothing to her. He wondered if it was some kind of subterfuge… Was she trying to hide her discomfort in his presence? Fool him into thinking she did not really care? 'Well… I'll be in the dining room.'

At least she looked content, he mused as he pulled his wrinkled clothes back on. He'd thought she'd be a virgin, but of course she'd dated other men even if she had been unknowingly in love with Heero. She kept surprising him and that was mostly thanks to his erroneous prejudgement of her. He'd been taught not to judge anyone by appearances yet, when it came to Relena, those teachings seemed to have completely escaped him. Or perhaps he had been judging her based on who she'd been at fifteen and _that_ had been his mistake. She was a woman now and one he knew he wouldn't be able to forget anytime soon.

'I took the liberty of filling up a plate for you.' She was still smiling when he arrived in the dining room and pulled himself a chair at the table. 'I hope you don't mind.'

'It's fine.' He was starving and the food looked delicious so he dug right in.

'Alright…' Relena dismissed his lack of manners and started making herself a plate. Her appetite wasn't half as ravenous as his though and after a few bites she decided to speak. 'So… About our contest… What do you say we come to a compromise?' He raised his head for a moment to show that he was listening. Relena took a sip of her water before continuing. 'I won't criticise your decision to leave anymore, but you must do something for me as well.'

'So it'll be as if we'd both won.' Trowa finally paused in his hungry rampage and dried his glass of water.

'In a way.' She nodded. 'Seconds?'

'Yes, please.' As he watched her make him another plate he wondered what she could possibly ask of him. She seemed to read his mind.

'I want you to get yourself a Jackie. I think you need one.'

'You want me to get a dog?'

'Or a cat.' She shrugged. 'I'll come with you to the shelter. How about… Next Saturday? Do you think you could make it?'

'That's the weirdest thing anyone's ever asked of me.'

'So?'

'You're wasting an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.'

'If you don't accept I'll change my mind and say I won because we both know you cheated.'

'I saved your life.'

She didn't look at all convinced. 'Saturday then?'

'I'll need to check my schedule.' He was forced to concede or he knew she would've argued her point forever, if necessary.

'Well, then let me know when you're free and I'll rearrange my schedule since it's more flexible than yours.'

'As you wish.'

Relena's smile was very clearly victorious. 'Will you be having more chicken? Then I'll get the dessert ready.'

Somehow Trowa did not feel like their contest had ended in a draw at all.

XXX

'Are you sure you're well enough to drive?' she asked when he started gathering his belongings. His motorcycle keys jingling in his hand.

'I'm fine.' Trowa snapped back at her. He'd been sulking ever since she'd 'won' their contest and got _her_ way. In Relena's humble opinion it only served to show how childish men really were. 'I wasn't _that_ drunk to begin with.'

'You were worse off than I was, you have to admit it.'

'I did have an extra shot of tequila.' He paused to meet her eyes, but Relena did not believe that shot they'd battled over had made much of a difference and she made sure he knew. 'I hadn't drunk in a while. You drink regularly. If I'd been better prepared I would've won easy-peasy.'

'I don't drink that much. Only a glass of wine over dinner. They say it's good for the heart, didn't you know?'

'So's grape juice.' He shrugged. 'Even if you have only a glass of wine, the fact that you do it routinely stimulates your liver to produce more alcohol digesting enzymes which gives you an unfair advantage over me.'

'Good thing we called it a draw then, huh?' she refused to let him sway her. This was a non-victory she was _not_ giving up on. She opened the front door for him. 'You do sound quite sober, so I'll let you go.'

With a snort, he flung his backpack over his shoulder and walked past her without as much as a glance. It was not anger she could sense coming from him though… He seemed conflicted as he stopped by the lift, his shoulders tense and his knuckles white as he clutched the strap of his backpack. If Relena were to be completely honest with herself, watching him leave like that gave her a very awkward, very unpleasant feeling that she could not yet place.

'Will you call me then?' she asked just as the metal doors slid open and heard a hopeful edge in her voice she had not intended him to hear.

Trowa stepped forward, but when he turned around to press the button for the lobby, he met her eyes. There was something different in the way he looked at her… Relena could only hope he didn't think of her as an easy woman now that they'd seen each other in their birthday suits, among other things… Whatever he thought though she knew he _would_ be calling her. What remained to be decided was what she would do then.

What did she feel for him? Was it just a drunken attraction? Or was there more to it? And were they on the same page? He'd run away from the people he'd cared for… Did that mean he did not care for her? Or did it mean he would inevitably run away from her too? And how long would _that_ take? Was he worth investing on? Would she have enough time to change his mind if she wanted to?

'What do I do?' she asked Jackie, who'd remained at a distance ever since the incident in the kitchen. 'Still angry with me, are you? You think I should've played hard-to-get? My mother certainly would…' There was only one person whose opinion she valued above all others though… 'You're right, Jackie. Maybe I should ask him…'

She found her mobile lost in the middle of the mess that had become her bedroom and called Carlos. He was still awake and sounded as solicitous as always though Relena knew he was none too pleased about suddenly having to come to work on a Sunday morning. 'There's somewhere I need to go.' She insisted.

He gave her an odd look when, the next morning, he found out it was the cemetery she wanted to visit, but said nothing and neither did she. As she made her way out of the car and into the necropolis he followed at a reasonable distance and Relena smiled to herself knowing she'd later have to thank him for his consideration. Maybe Carlos was a little grumpy and prone to complaining, but deep down he was a good man and that's what she valued most in her employees.

The cemetery was empty at that early hour and Heero was just where she knew he would be. She was glad for the distance she'd put between him and the rest of her family… She wouldn't have wanted her father to hear about her love life, dead or not.

'Looks like you've been entertaining too.' She remarked with amusement, kneeling to inspect the white lilies that had been laid at the foot of the tombstone. Some of them still had to wither. 'Who could it have been?'

It was when an earlier conversation with Trowa popped back into her mind… He'd hinted at someone inside Preventers who knew he had vanished by his own free will… Relena didn't think he'd trust anyone other than one of his old comrades and, whereas Duo was too much of a blabbermouth and Wufei was too indifferent, Quatre was reliable and altruistic. The blonde man had been Trowa's first true friend as he'd told her himself. And while her colour may not be white, Quatre's certainly was.

'Thank you.' She smiled at Heero's name. 'Maybe Quatre can help me make Trowa see reason.'

She laid her own pink roses by the bouquet of lilies, then read the short enigmatic epitaph she had had engraved beneath his name. _This place would not be here if not for him._ He would've liked it, she was sure.

'Will it be okay if we end up together?' she wondered, though this time Heero had nothing to say.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

After their little altercation at the lobby, Trowa had avoided Linwood like the plague. He steered right off the man's way if he noticed their paths would cross and made sure the other veterinarian was busy before he went to the lobby or the lounge. That morning, however, he could not escape.

Linwood was stepping out of a surgery when Trowa walked into the dressing room, an emergency had just arrived so he had no choice other than to get changed and scrub into the surgery to assist their boss. It was not only the man's personal request but an orthopaedic case which interested Trowa immensely. There was no missing it, not even in order to avoid an exhausting confrontation.

'Barton.'

'Linwood.' He returned the greeting with a curt tone that he hoped would discourage any attempts the other man might make at conversation. It seemed to work for a short while though he could feel Linwood watching him out of the corner of his eye.

'Hey, Barton. Where've you been? Haven't seen you around much lately.'

'Just because you haven't seen me doesn't mean I wasn't here.'

'But on Saturday you weren't here. I'm positive. Even though you used to be here all weekend, _every_ weekend… So where were you?'

Trowa thrust his feet into his surgical slippers. 'It's none of your business where I was.' He said as politely as he possibly could.

'You've been with her then, huh? How much does she pay you?'

'Linwood.' He stood up, making use of his full height as well as his cold hard tone to try and stop the other man, but Linwood continued unhindered.

'Nothing? Is she good at least? They say prude girls like her are actually—'

His fist flew before he could stop it and collided with the other man's cheek seconds before their boss stepped in. He glanced from Trowa's tense frame, heaving with barely controlled anger, to Linwood whose hand was nursing a red, already swelling jaw.

'Barton, a word, please?' he said calmly and held the door open until Trowa had walked past him. 'Linwood, you'll be scrubbing in with me. I'll need a second pair of hands.'

'With all due respect, sir. This is _my_ surgery.' Trowa said as soon as he was face to face with his boss in the empty corridor. The older man did not even flinch.

'When was the last time you took some decent time off, Barton?'

'I took the entire day off just this Saturday.'

'I mean a holiday, Barton. A week at the very least. I want you to take a week off, get your thoughts in order.'

'But my patients—'

'Your patients will be well looked after. I'll tend to them myself if you like.' He was not relenting, Trowa could see that. So he did not insist. He knew he was obligated to have a holiday from time to time and he had been pushing the limit as it were. He should be happy to get off with only a week's mandatory leave. 'Go now. I only wish to see you again in a week! And with a cool head preferably.'

'Sir.'

It was only when he found himself alone in the corridor that Trowa noticed the pain in his knuckles. He was glad Linwood would have something to remember him by while he was away, but he just could not understand why he'd punched the man so promptly after no more than a few words… It had been the mention of Relena, of course, no use denying it though the drastic effect it had had on him was hard to comprehend. Those were mere _words_ Linwood had used and the object of those words did not even hear them so they harmed no one. Then why hadn't he been able to keep his wits about him? Relena herself would have acted with a lot more dignity.

The point, Trowa mused as he made his way back to the lounge to get changed, was not if she had been good in bed or not… The point was that she was so much more than that. There wasn't a single moment spent with her that he did not find enjoyable. The sex had been just a big bonus, a rather unexpected one really. So how could Linwood reduce her to so little?

As he finished tying his shoe laces, he found himself texting her. ' _All set for Saturday_.' A part of him still refused to believe he had accepted to indulge her that easily, but he kept telling himself it was only temporary. He had to avoid sleeping with her again and try to reduce the time they spent together, of course, but he had enough time to work on all that. And once Jackie no longer bound him to her they would go back to being complete strangers. Or, at the very least, acting as such.

' _Great! Pick you up at eight?_ ' came her prompt reply.

The earliness wasn't a problem for him. After all, he was used to being awake at all sorts of odd hours… He did not feel like being driven around by Relena's security staff though.

' _How about I pick YOU up at nine_?'

' _Why? In a motorcycle? No way_.'

' _Send me the address then and I'll meet you there at ten_.'

Surprisingly enough she did send him the address and a ' _See you there. Don't let me down!_ '

Shaking his head, he made his way out of the hospital. The busy foyer and waiting room were hard for him to ignore, but he knew they had enough staff to keep things running smoothly or his boss wouldn't have sent him home like that. He wished he could at least take some charts with him, but he knew they'd might be needed if his patients' treatment plans were to be followed correctly. He had no idea what he would do with himself now other than to get up to date on some articles…

Saturday was only a day away and yet that one day suddenly seemed like a whole year.

XXX

Relena spotted the blonde man as soon as she stepped into the restaurant. Never one to care much for decorum, he waved at her with a bright smile and she need only point at him, when the maître d' approached her, to be led to his table.

'Quatre.' She greeted with a smile after he'd kissed her on the cheek. 'It's so good to see you.'

'It's really nice to see you too, Lena.' He was still smiling as he regained his seat across her. 'Though it still puzzles me how you found out I was in the city.'

'A mutual friend told me.'

'A mutual friend?' Quatre frowned at the sly smile she sent him over the menu. 'But I didn't tell anyone I was coming…'

'You paid him a visit…and brought him lilies.'

His face lit up in realisation, but he quickly frowned again. 'But how did you…?'

'You and the others were the first that came to my mind… It was Heero, Quatre. He did it. Somehow… I know he did.'

'Well… Who am I to doubt you? Have you already chosen?' he pointed at her menu then motioned for the waiter to approach and take their orders. Once the man was gone he turned back to Relena. 'You never told me what you wanted to talk to me about.'

'Another mutual friend.' That had him raising his eyebrows in surprise. However, she could see he was at loss. 'One who's "vanished".'

'Trowa?' Quatre leaned forward, his eyes sparkling hopefully. 'Have you heard from him?'

'Better. I've met him.'

'You have? How is he? I knew he was alive, of course, but… What is he doing? Is he well? Did you talk to him?'

She could not help but chuckle at his childish eagerness. He must have been worried about Trowa ever since the man disappeared or, knowing Quate, even longer than that.

'I don't think he'd like me to tell you… Do you promise not to tell anyone?'

'I promise.'

'And not to seek him out either?'

'Of course. Of course, I promise.'

They waited as they were served their entrees and had their glasses refilled. Relena had picked a white wine to accompany her dinner, but Quatre did not have alcohol so he stuck to the water they'd already been drinking. She turned back to him after chewing on a forkful. 'We met by accident at the cemetery… He was there the day of the burial. He thought by the time he arrived everyone would have already left.'

The Winner heir shook his head, took a sip of water and sighed. 'I told him he was crazy to think he could cut us out of his life, but he's so stubborn… Did he tell you why he did it?'

'He said he didn't wish to hurt anyone he cared for anymore.'

'That's more-or-less what he told me too.' He nodded. 'I think it's mostly my fault…and Catherine's. Because of how we reacted when we first found out he'd lost his memory. Trowa's actually quite sensitive. That's why he acts the way he does, why he feels it's best to keep others at bay. Ultimately, he's protecting himself.' She nodded her understanding, wondering how she could possibly make him see that. Unaware of her wandering thoughts, Quatre resumed. 'What's he been doing? Do you know?'

'He's a veterinarian now. He works in a hospital an hour or so from here.'

'So close?'

'I was surprised myself, especially since Preventers hadn't found him, but he said the best place to hide is at plain sight and that they'd never look for him.'

'I told them he'd left.' He paused and smiled at the waiter as he took away their empty plates. 'Une herself wanted to conduct a search…at Duo's insistence. So I had to tell them. I'm sure Trowa knew I would.'

Once they'd been served and got started on their main dishes, Quatre picked up: 'So he went back to school?'

'Yes… He seems to have done well for himself though it really bothers me to see him so isolated…' Relena lamented and felt her companion's thoughtful eyes lingered on her for too long. She quickly continued. 'I was wondering if you could help me change his mind and come back to his friends and family.'

For the longest time Quatre chewed on his food, watching her intently. He had a good number of mouthfuls before he put down his cutlery and smiled. 'I feel like you're on the right path already.'

'The right path?'

'You don't need my help, Lena.' He reassured, taking her hand in his and smiling even more widely. She felt as if he could read her mind and blushed furiously. Thankfully, Quatre did not seem to notice that. 'I failed to convince him back then, but you can do it now. I believe in you more than I believe in myself.'

'I'm…' she pulled her hand back rather awkwardly and stabbed at the remaining food on her plate before she felt forced to meet his gaze. 'Thank you.'

'You may call me if you need anything.'

'I will.'

After they'd finished and the waiter had replaced their empty plates with the kind of tasty looking dessert Trowa would have approved of, Relena found the courage to ask him something that had been sitting at the back of her mind for a while.

'Quatre? Heero. You think he would…?'

'I think, if he really did lead you to me, then he must have meant for me to tell you that all he ever wanted was for you to be happy.'

She nodded and smiled, discreetly wiping her tears away.

XXX

Trowa had been so eager for something to do that it was only when Relena's car parked beside his bike, in front of the shelter, that he realised this was their first meeting after…all that had happened. Would she still act as if it hadn't meant a thing? _Had_ it? Had it meant something? As he watched her approach, from where he was perched on his motorcycle, he could not help the smug smile that twisted his lips. It must have meant something or he wouldn't be feeling this way…. As if he'd missed her.

'You're early.' She remarked, returning his smirk quite effortlessly.

'So are you.'

'Which means you're even earlier.'

He shrugged as if he hadn't realised. 'Should we go in?'

She nodded and turned around for a moment to wave at Carlos who was still inside the car. 'How do you plan to take your Jackie back home in a motorcycle?'

'I brought rope. I'll strap the cat's carrier to the seat.'

'You'll strap the carrier to the seat?' her eyebrow arched as he held the door open for her.

'Yes.'

Relena shook her head, stepping past him at last. 'I'll be nice and drive your Jackie home for you.'

'You mean Carlos will.'

'As per my wishes.'

A couple stood waiting by the reception counter that morning. So they followed the row of chairs standing against the wall next to them and took a seat, trying to look inconspicuous. The silence the strangers' presence imposed on them made Trowa feel unusually fidgety. Beside him, Relena seemed to be experiencing something similar. He watched as her hands clenched and unclenched on her lap before she spotted a magazine a chair away and reached out for it.

The attendant soon came out of a door behind the counter, dragging a large panting Saint Bernard behind her. The couple seemed ecstatic to see it, kneeling to greet the dog with gentle pats and baby talk when it crossed to their side of the room. The dog didn't appear to care much about them just yet and merely stood there, long pink tongue dripping saliva on the floor, until they were ready to take it home. After thanking the attendant, they waved their goodbyes and were gone.

'May I help you?' the woman turned on them with a wide smile and then, recognising Relena: 'Oh, Ms Darlian! So great to see you again. How's your dog doing?'

'She's doing great. Thank you.'

'Have you come to get her a little brother or sister today?'

'Oh, no. I don't think I'll be getting another pet anytime soon…' she chuckled. Trowa fought the urge to roll his eyes at their chitchat.

'Yours was the one with the heart condition, right? Is she too much work?' the other woman asked worriedly as if afraid Relena might have come to return the dog.

'Not as much as one might think.' She beamed reassuringly then hurriedly changed the subject. 'In fact, today's visit is not about me or Jackie at all! I've brought a friend today. He needs his own pet.' The last part she pretended to whisper as if trusting the other woman with some sort of secret.

Trowa ignored that and stood, giving them the same automatic smile he used with his patients' guardians. The attendant, who had clearly thought he was Relena's bodyguard, looked surprised and, for a long second, she studied his tall thin form pensively. 'Ah… A cat, is it?' she smiled at last.

It was his turn to be surprised which he showed by raising an eyebrow. Relena, however, was more vocal. 'How can you tell?'

'I've just been doing this for a while.' The woman laughed, flushing pleasantly, and waved her hand dismissively. 'So?'

He nodded. 'A cat.'

'You sure do know your cat and dog people.' Relena observed as they followed the attendant past the counter and into the corridor where she had been once before. 'But, if you knew I was a dog person… Why did you offer me a cat?'

'You looked a little unsure when you came… I couldn't really tell what you wanted.' The other woman confessed as they stopped in front of a door. 'This is the cats' corridor. Feel free to look, but, please, refrain from touching any of the animals. You'll be allowed to meet the ones that truly interest you in private later.'

They agreed to all the conditions and listened attentively to the explanation on the colours of the cats' files. Once they were good to go, the woman opened the door for them and they stepped inside.

Cages lined the walls on both sides, the upper line held the older cats while the one underneath it housed the younger ones. Some of the youngest kittens were kept together in cages that were slightly wider. Trowa inspected all their conditions as he felt it was his duty to. If Relena noticed she made no comment.

'So?' she asked when they reached the end of the corridor for the second time.

He had almost forgotten about her presence; she had been so quiet. 'I wished I could do the same you did and take home one of the sick elderly ones that are unlikely to ever get adopted, but I wouldn't have the time to care for it.'

'Why not take it with you to the hospital when you go in?'

'A hospital's no place for an animal. We try to keep them there as little as possible.'

Relena nodded quietly. 'I visited Heero at many a hospital throughout his life… As fancy and top-notch as some of them were, I don't blame him for wanting out so desperately.'

'Then you know what I mean.' For once he gave her a genuine, albeit small, smile. 'I can't adopt a kitten either because they need more attention than an adult cat. They're all sure to get adopted anyway.'

'That leaves you the adult cats.'

'A young adult… To make sure it won't have any health conditions anytime soon.'

'Some people get sick at a young age.' She reminded him with a teasing smile. Though she sounded like she was trying to undermine his reasoning he knew it was not so, besides he was ahead of her for once.

'True, but chances are slimmer.'

Relena smiled, and he led her back to the middle of the corridor where three cages housed two and three year old cats, all neutered males. The first one was very friendly and came to the bars to greet them straight away. It was hard to ignore him, but Trowa moved on after a moment only. The second and third were more suspicious and aloof and it was these two that he decided he would be meeting in private for a few minutes.

'Why not the first one?' Relena asked as heartbroken as he was about overlooking the clearly love-craving tabby.

'He's friendlier and will get adopted more easily.'

'What if you're wrong?'

'It's a sad reality either way.' He paused at the doorway and met her gaze for a moment before glancing at the cage riddled corridor one final time. 'We can't save them all.'


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Relena glanced at the black and white short haired cat in the carrier beside her as Carlos followed Trowa back to his place. Though the vet had congratulated the shelter's attendant on the cleanliness of the cages and something he'd called 'environmental enrichment', he'd still left the place with a gloomy air about him. Not that she could blame him. Those animals belonged in the warmth of someone's home and not in cold aseptic cages.

She turned once again to the cat, still unnamed. He had a history of neglect and abuse… A little like all of the gundam pilots. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Trowa had chosen him over the other cat who had been of similar personality, but surrendered to the shelter by an old lady no longer able to care for him despite how much she'd loved him.

It was then that she finally fully understood Quatre's words… Trowa felt too much. He carried a heart too big for him to bear and so he did what he could to keep others at bay be that run away or act like a jerk. Maybe she could show him that he did not have to bear all the weight alone, that that's what friends and family were for, and that by distancing himself he was making everybody suffer all the more.

'We're here, Miss Darlian.' Carlos peered at her through the rear-view mirror.

'Oh! Thank you, Carlos. Just give me a second, will you?'

'Yes, Miss.'

Trowa's flat was located in a five storey building not far from the hospital where he worked. He parked right in front of the entrance and walked back to retrieve the cat from Relena's car. She held the door open as he ducked inside the vehicle and came out with the carrier.

'Straight back to work now?' she smiled when their eyes met. That seemed to make him hesitate. 'Day off?'

'Actually, I'm on mandatory leave until next week.'

'Oh… Everything alright?'

'Fine. Just long overdue.'

'I know how _that_ is.' She chuckled. He said nothing, but merely stood there holding the cat as if unsure what to do. 'So… Won't you invite me in?' Relena took matters into her own hands, seeing his reluctance as embarrassment or something of the like.

'If I don't you'll only invite yourself, so… Would you like to come in?'

Relieved that he seemed to have recovered his biting wit, she smiled. 'Why, yes, thank you! Let me just tell Carlos.'

And she did, despite the funny look he gave her. She trusted him not to make unseemly comments about her visiting a man's place by herself. He didn't know that Trowa was single anyway, she could be visiting with his wife. The thought had her laughing as they took the stairs to the second floor.

'Should I ask?'

'Better not.' She smirked.

He fumbled with the keys for a moment then pushed the door open, motioning for her to precede him. While he locked the door behind them and set the cat loose, she looked around. It was a studio apartment with only a half-wall separating the kitchen from the rest of the flat. At the far back she could see a doorway beside the bed that certainly led into the bathroom. It could have all fit in half of her apartment.

'So?' he asked after a moment.

'It's just like Heero's…'

'Devoid of personality?' he cut in, smirking.

'No.' Relena immediately chastised. She had enough people put words in her mouth already. 'Simple and tidy.'

'If you say so.'

They both turned to the cat who was walking around in slow motion, his body nearly flat on the ground, as if he were braving a minefield. From time to time he'd hear something, an unfamiliar sound, pause and raise his head and ears, turning his wide-eyed gaze from side to side.

'What will you call him?' she had been wondering for a while.

Trowa shrugged. 'I've no idea.'

'How about Tiramisu? Since you claim to like desserts so much?' at her mock suggestion, he raised an eyebrow as if saying 'really' and Relena laughed. 'What are your patients usually called?'

'Had a patient just like him once… Boris, I think, was his name.'

'Mmm… Sounds rather grumpy, doesn't it?'

'Tex.' He said at last. 'I'll call him Tex.'

'Tex? Why?' she frowned still watching the cat explore the tiny apartment.

'Because a bottle of tequila was what brought him here today and Tequi doesn't sound like a good name.'

'Well… He does look like a cowboy cat.' Trowa snorted, dropping his belongings in an armchair before he stepped into the kitchen. 'Will you cook for me today?' Relena asked unable to get enough out of teasing him. Despite the fact that he'd told her everything was alright at work, she found him rather tense. Had he lied? Was it because she was invading his personal space? Or was the visit to the shelter still weighing on him?

'I couldn't even if I wanted to.'

'Why… You can't cook?' her astonishment brought an amused smile to his face at last. She strolled into the kitchen already pulling up the sleeves of her blouse. 'Let me make us something then.'

'Feel free to try.' His amusement was palpable now as he watched her with crossed arms.

Relena understood what he found funny when she opened the fridge to find a bottle of cold water, a couple of longnecks already expired and a piece of cheese. 'What do you eat?' she turned baffled towards him.

He was chuckling at her, of course, and she actually had to fight back a smile. 'Out.' He answered. 'I eat out.'

XXX

There had been plenty of signs… Their recurrent dinners, that he had willingly put up with; their banter, which he found reinvigorating; his attraction to her, which had led to that most fateful of afternoons; the way she had inadvertently disturbed his work, which ultimately led to his 'holiday'; the realisation that he had missed her… Yet, even with all those signs, it was only when Trowa found himself unable to send her home, after she had driven all the way to his place, that he understood he was in way too deep. And suddenly all the time he'd thought he'd had to distance himself from her was running out.

As he watched her wander around his tiny flat, still holding her purse in her hands, glancing curiously at the half-dozen things he possessed, he knew he had to start now. He had to start putting some distance between them before she wove her way into other places… Places more intimate than his home.

'You really outdid yourself for someone who didn't want a pet.' She smiled smugly over her shoulder as she ran a hand over the tall cat tree he'd purchased the day before.

'I had nothing to do yesterday…' he shrugged. 'So I went out, bought everything the cat might need and had it delivered.' Just one more day, he told himself. One more day of her smiles and he'd put his plan in action. He'd start severing their ties. He'd even refer Jackie to another vet if he had to.

'You think he'll be alright if we go out to eat?' she turned her head around but Tex was nowhere in sight. Trowa had seen him slip under the bed so he did not worry.

'He needs time. Being alone will make him feel more comfortable to explore.'

'If you say so…' Relena allowed him to guide her to the exit, however reluctantly. 'We could order something and have it delivered.' She suggested as he opened the door.

'There's somewhere I wish to take you.' He made sure to look deep into her eyes as he said that and for a moment she did not know what to say.

'Okay.' She consented, but then looked down at the helmet in his hand. 'Can't we call a cab?'

'No.'

The angry frown she gave him put a smirk on Trowa's face. 'You only have that helmet, don't you? You know it's very careless to ride a bike without a helmet… Not to mention very dangerous.'

'It's a five minute ride.' He promised and stepped out. 'I'll let you wear the helmet.'

'Oh, you'll _let_ me, will you?' Relena strolled past him and started descending the stairs. 'And I'd thought you were a gentleman…'

'With a head as strong as yours I didn't think you'd need it.'

' _My_ head is strong?' she spun on her heels to give him a meaningful look then resumed her descent. 'If my head's strong yours is indestructible.'

His smirk widened so it turned into a grin. Lucky for him she did not see it. 'You may hold onto me.' He told her as they beelined towards the motorcycle.

'If it's a five minute ride I'll hold onto the seat, thank you.'

He wondered if he should point out to her how she'd just given him proof of her stubbornness, but decided to stop teasing her... At least until they reached the diner a few squares from his place, Relena grasping the seat for dear life while he smirked to himself. He'd managed to resist driving fast enough to give her a scare but, as he dismounted, he could no longer resist pointing out that: 'You already held onto me once.'

She blushed furiously and he left her by the motorcycle, holding the helmet in both hands, and walked ahead. Her steps followed him at a very fast pace and Trowa prepared to hear whatever retort she'd come up with but the words died in her throat as they reached the door.

'Takes you to another time, doesn't it?' he asked. That was why he loved that place, besides the fact that it was almost always empty.

A typical fifties American diner lost in the very heart of Europe, frozen in time. From the black and white chequered pattern on the floors to the red leather covered seats and stainless steel details on the furniture. The jukebox at the far corner, though ancient on the outside, had been fit with a modern core filled with songs both old and new. It was playing Rolling Stones when they walked in and Relena turned to him in awe.

'How did you find this place?'

'Strolling on a day off.' He shrugged. It really had been a stroke of luck. 'Shall we take a seat?'

There were plenty of empty booths and Trowa was pleased when she chose the one he usually favoured, but then he should have known Heero would have taught her to pick a more protected and secluded seat.

Despite the hour, which was better fit for a late lunch, he ordered pancakes and coffee while Relena opted for a hamburger, claiming she hadn't had one in ages, and a can of soda.

'So what have you planned for the remainder of your week off?' she asked once the waitress had left them.

'I'll stay home with the cat. Unless you need a consult?'

'If I did I could consult you right here, couldn't I?'

'I meant Jackie.' He corrected though he did return her sly smile with a smirk that he hoped promised revenge.

'No, I don't think she will need a consult again so soon.' She paused, sipping on her soda. 'But if _I_ wanted a consult would you see me? Would you answer my questions?'

'Is it a consult you want? Or an interview?'

'A consult. Whatever we say stays between us.'

Relena's eyes bore into his and Trowa knew she was serious. He frowned for he had a good idea of what she had in mind, regardless of their agreement and his upholding his end of their deal. He immediately regretted having postponed his plans of leading her gently back out of his life. If only he'd been able to just lie to her when they were standing in front of his block… All he needed was to have agreed with her and said that, yes, he _was_ going straight back to work, but no… He had told her the truth instead. Idiot. He deserved to be in this situation.

'Thank you.' Relena smiled at the waitress as she served them. When she turned back to him, Trowa knew she'd read his mind. In a way. 'This isn't just like walking into another time, is it? It's like walking into another world. Another _life_. Don't you wish to make it a different life?'

Caught in his own trap it seemed. He could've laughed. 'A different life in which I tell you all of my secrets?'

'No.' Relena shook her head and leaned forward with that serious look in her eyes again. 'A different life in which you don't have to be alone.'

Trowa snorted. 'And who are you to talk?'

'I…' caught off guard she pulled back slightly though he failed in destabilizing her in any significant way. 'I'm trying to change that too.'

'Is that why you're here?' he raised an eyebrow at her. 'To save yourself from loneliness?'

'No.' she shook her head again. 'To save us _both.'_

Part of the anger he'd been trying to feed against her died inside him then. It had hardly been enough to being with… He sighed. 'Isn't that what Jackie and Tex are for?'

'Yes.' Relena conceded. 'But are they enough?'

'They have to be.'

'No, they haven't. Trowa, please, listen to me. Why not give us a chance?'

'Why?'

'Because we both need it… Because it works. Don't you think it works?'

He shook his head. She seemed to him to be out of her mind, her very eloquence was gone, the good arguments he would have expected her to use… She was acting on something other than logic… She was acting on her emotions as Heero had long told him to do.

'We spent one afternoon together.'

'It was way more than that. What about all the dinners? Our first lunch together? Even Jackie's consults?' Relena was adamant, insistent, _relentless_. Trowa shook his head, trying to make sense of what was happening and how he'd got there… 'I think…' at that her expression and demeanour softened and she pulled a little back into herself. 'I think this is what Heero would have wanted. I did not realise until recently, but now… I think he's guiding our steps and _he_ made it so that we'd meet that day at the cemetery.'

'You're out of your mind.' He shook his head again even more confused and incredulous.

'Think about it… Visit his grave, try to talk to him. I'm sure he'll tell you something.'

'Relena, Heero's dead. I told you back then and I'll tell you again now… He's dead, get over it.'

Her face went as hard and cold as stone. Suddenly, he barely recognised her. 'I know he's gone.' She said calmly. 'But I must believe there's a meaning to all this.'

'There isn't.' he thought to say, but at last he didn't. As with the lie he'd meant to tell her as they stood in front of his building, these words too died in his throat. 'I'll go to the cemetery, if that's really what you want, but only because I've nothing better to do until I'm back at work.'

Appeased, Relena nodded.

XXX

They finished their meal in silence. It wasn't exactly a heavy silence, but it still upset Relena. She feared Quatre might have been wrong all along and there was no way she alone could convince Trowa. That thought unsettled her enough that she excused herself to go to the bathroom. She knew if she splashed some water on her face and recomposed herself things would look brighter and she needed her confidence back if she meant to make this work.

When she returned to the dining area, her eyes fell on the jukebox and she could not resist walking up to it. Its loud colours and outdated appearance put a smile on her face. She was about to go back to the table to fetch some change when Trowa popped up beside her, coin in hand. Relena smiled at him as she took it, but he remained serious, a sign that their earlier conversation was not yet far from his mind…

'Dance with me?' she asked spotting a particularly cheerful Elvis song she wanted to play.

'Dance?' he raised his eyebrows.

'Don't tell me ladies' man Trowa Barton, who carries a stack of love cards in his work bag, cannot dance.'

At that he could not help smirking. 'I've much more than cards up my sleeve.'

'And is an innate ability to dance one of those things?'

'Maybe…Maybe not.'

She pressed the button, not for the Elvis song she wanted, but for a slower one by Sinatra. This way, she thought, Trowa would have no excuse not to dance with her. Not knowing how to dance a slow song would be even more embarrassing than dancing it. So, with a smile that was a silent challenge, she offered him her hand. 'Another life, remember?' she added when he glanced around.

'I ordered dessert.' He said when his hands encircled her waist and they began to sway.

'Oh, did you?' she turned her head so she could see his face. 'What _did_ you order?'

'Cheesecake.'

In her eyes he looked like a happy child as he said that and Relena could not help but smirk. 'What about staying skinny?'

'Fit.' He immediately corrected, just as she knew he would, then shrugged. 'Another world, was it?'

'Fat-Trowa world?' she laughed at the mental image and the frown on his face.

'How about reckless-Trowa world?'

'Reck—'

He kissed her. So much about not giving them a chance and their time together not meaning anything… Perhaps, Relena mused before she lost the ability to think, Quatre was right and she _could_ do this. Trowa's actions kept contradicting him, did they not? Surely she could defeat a gundam pilot who _wanted_ to be defeated?

It wasn't a very passionate kiss, after all they were in public, but it still took her breath away. 'See what I've been telling you? Why not give us a chance?'

But he seemed to ignore her words and, as the music faded out, he gave her one final twirl. 'Dessert's on the table. We should go back.'

'Yeah.' She agreed with a bitter-sweet feeling. 'We've had enough recklessness for one day.'

'Don't forget the ride back.' Trowa smirked at her over his shoulder.

'I'll walk.'

'You can't walk the streets unsupervised and I can't leave my bike here.'

'Actually… I can and you can.' It was her turn to smirk. 'Thing is… We shouldn't.'

'Do you even know how to make it back by yourself?' he wondered only half-teasing her.

'Of course I do!' she answered promptly and hoped he wouldn't ask her to lead him back. She'd been so worried about not falling off the bike on her way to the diner she'd barely paid attention to anything else. Suddenly, there was a glint in his eye she didn't like one bit. 'What?'

'Are you _sure_ you know the way?'

It was her chance to possess herself in humility and confess that no, she was not _sure_ , but instead Relena stood her ground as she would have in any meeting where her position was questioned just because she was young or a woman. The difference being that during her meetings she knew she could backup her statements, whereas here… And Trowa seemed to know she was lying or, at the very least, he doubted the truth in her words.

Looking like the cat that caught the canary, he finished chewing on a forkful of cheesecake and met her eyes. 'Wanna make a bet?'


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

'A bet?' Relena put down her fork and raised her eyebrows at him. 'And I suppose, if you win, you'll have me drop the subject of us being together? No, thanks. Haven't we done this already? Aren't we old enough to know better than to play with our lives?'

He shrugged. She was right, of course. He had brought her to the diner he liked most so they could spend one final day together before he started pulling away from her. He hadn't considered her feelings even though he'd been trying not to hurt them… She had acted so casually after what had happened the other weekend he didn't think it had mattered much to her. He couldn't have been more mistaken. Or maybe something had happened between now and then that had made her change her mind. But what? Could Heero really have somehow spoken to her?

If his friend could see him now, Trowa knew he would be disappointed. He hadn't been able to resist kissing her and teasing her even though he had decided to go back to the life he'd lead before they unexpectedly ran into each other. In a way it was as if he'd been playing with her emotions which was something, as much of a jerk as he might be at times, he'd never meant to do.

'I'm sorry.' He said and she gaped at him as if he'd grown a second head. Yet Trowa did not feel like explaining himself just yet. He signalled for the waitress to bring them the bill. 'Anything else?'

'No. Thank you.' she answered automatically, her mind probably still trying to decipher the motivation behind his apology. When the waitress arrived, however – already recovered – Relena offered to pay her share.

He would not let her.

She had done enough for him already.

'How are you going home?' he wondered as they found themselves back on the street.

'Carlos will be back to pick me up soon.'

'Oh.'

'What? You thought I'd sent him home?' she smirked at him sure that he had had some lewd ideas going on in his head.

'I don't know what I thought.' He shrugged suddenly afraid to tease her, afraid of what he might do if she smiled at him again the way she'd done as they danced.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean…'

'I know. Let's just go back and call it a day?'

'Trowa?' Relena asked as he turned on the engine and sat waiting for her to put on the helmet and mount. She watched him motionless, but with thoughtful eyes. 'What would you have done if I had told you I sent Carlos home?'

He smiled cryptically and said nothing.

XXX

'Disagreeable day, Miss?' Carlos asked as they pulled away from Trowa's block. He had already been waiting for her when they arrived back from the diner and, sensing that her friend had a lot to reflect on by himself, Relena had excused herself to go back to her home and her work. Back to Jackie who seemed to be the only one she could understand as of late.

'Not disagreeable, no. Just plain confusing.' She answered honestly. There was something about the way he'd phrased the question and read her mood that reminded her of Pagan. Another friend she missed dearly. 'Is there anyone amongst your friends or family that you simply can't make any sense of?'

'Most people make little sense to me, Miss.'

Frowning, she tried to get a better view of his face through the available mirrors, but he was focused on driving and his expression showed nothing. 'And what is that like?' she felt forced to ask since she practically lived off of reading other people, understanding their motivations and convincing them to see things her way.

'What is that like?' he repeated now very clearly confused.

'Yes. Ah… You have a wife, right? Is she one of the people you don't understand? If you don't mind my asking, of course.'

'No, not at all, Miss. Yes, my wife is the person I comprehend the least.' He kept surprising Relena.

'Is she really?'

'Quite.' Carlos snorted, surely remembering some memory he did not see the need to share.

'So how do you tell what she's feeling? What she needs, what she wants?'

'I don't, Miss.'

'You don't? Not at all?'

'No.'

'And how does it work?'

'What? My marriage?' he laughed suddenly, startling her. She'd never heard him laugh before.

'I'm sorry for being so nosey… You don't have to answer me if you don't wish to.'

'I'll tell you how it works, Miss.' And at that he smiled genuinely. Yet another thing she doubted she'd ever seen him do. Ever since he'd started working for her he'd looked worried, nearly frightened, for her and Relena was sure Heero must have put the fear of god in him. He had trained her whole security detail himself and _he_ was someone she had known and understood. Carlos resumed: 'I do what feels right to me and if I mess up, which I usually do, she beats me, kisses me and forgives me. It happens all the time.'

'Doesn't that bother you?'

'No, Miss.' He chuckled, now remembering something _good_ that she wasn't privy to either. 'That's how I know she loves me.'

'And does _she_ understand _you_?'

'I don't know that she does, Miss. She certainly doesn't upset me as often as I do her, but then women have a sixth sense for such things…'

Relena sighed and leaned back on her seat. She didn't feel like she'd messed up even though she made little sense of what Trowa was feeling or trying to do when it came to her. Physically, he wanted her and she knew. They both did. But what was his jumbled mind telling him to do? Whatever it was she feared he was conflicted and she had no idea how to help him. Should she call Quatre? Or was Heero truly guiding them? Trowa didn't believe so and, in all honesty, she could not blame him. As illogical as it all was though, she _wanted_ to believe he was still looking after her and that he would help Trowa somehow too.

XXX

Trowa spent the better part of his Sunday morning trying to get close to Tex, but the cat wanted nothing to do with him. At least, not just yet. And he could not exactly blame the feline… He probably sensed the inner conflict going on inside Trowa's head and wasn't sure what to make of the wave of mixed emotions the man kept sending his way. If he were completely honest, Trowa wasn't sure what to make of it himself.

At last, before he went stir-crazy, he decided to make the long drive to the cemetery and pay Heero a visit. It was a sunny day, perfect for a ride, he grabbed a bite on the way and hoped that, by the time he got back home, he'd have his thoughts in order. At least, he'd keep his word… Even though Relena would not be there to see it. And who knew? Heero might even send him a message from the beyond. Though he highly doubted it.

What he found by the tomb, however, did send a very clear message. Two sets of flowers. Lilies long dried and roses, more recent but already withering themselves. The roses were clearly Relena's and he was pretty sure of who'd left the lilies too. Quatre, he laughed quietly to himself. Surely they had spoken… Had she revealed his whereabouts? Maybe… If she had, she had probably also asked Quatre not to come looking for him. A wish he had respected. Trowa wouldn't have expected any less from Quatre.

Still, it had to have been something he told her during their chat, or whatever it was, that had made her wish to save him from his isolation. Herself too. It had to have been Quatre to 'open her eyes'. He shook his head. It wasn't relevant. Relena only did what she pleased anyway. Which meant it had been her idea all along… _She_ wanted them to try. He turned to the letters carved on the stone but there was no message from the afterlife. No word from Heero telling him what to do.

'This is why I wanted distance from everyone.' He told his deceased friend. 'Someone always ends up getting hurt. _I_ always end up hurting others somehow. I did _not_ mean to hurt her, but I did. I know I did and I'm sorry. This is why I must stay away. Surely you understand?'

Heero said nothing and the struggle inside Trowa only seemed to intensify. 'I'd never met a woman that made me question my convictions… And it frightens me how strongly I feel things when they are related to her. Was this how you felt? Were you willing to change your very essence for her?' he was beginning to feel rather desperate now and yet the stone only stared at him unsympathetically. No, not unsympathetically, he realised, but as if he were acting like a fool. 'Of course, of course you were willing… You _did_ change for her, didn't you? Was it conscious? Or did it just happen?'

With a frustrated sigh he sat down beside the tombstone and looked down at the decaying flowers. 'Sorry I didn't bring you anything.' He wished at that moment that Relena was right and Heero could indeed speak to him. One way or another. Yet it was too late for that. Whatever needed saying had been said before, during the war… 'You tried to help me... But I've never been good at following my emotions.'

There was only silence even though a good number of people had chosen that sunny Sunday to visit their dearly departed. More people than Trowa would have expected…and he was glad he wasn't the only one talking to a ghost.

XXX

On Monday, Relena called Quatre's secretary. She wanted to talk to the Winner heir but she did not wish to interfere in his work. Her personal problems weren't something she thought should come over anyone's duties. Not even her own, unfortunately. But, of course, her dear old friend disagreed and, because Quatre was always one to answer his friends as soon as he could, she found herself in a phone conference with him that same night.

'I'm sorry I could not meet you in person.' He said almost as soon as he appeared on her laptop screen. 'But I'll be flying back to L4 in a couple of days and there's still so much to do here!'

'It's alright. I'm sorry to be bothering you again so soon.'

'I felt you might need my counsel.' His smile was a comfort to her. 'So what's going on?'

And so, she told him the whole story from the moment she'd run into Trowa at the cemetery to his confusing attitude towards her on Saturday. 'I can make neither head nor tail of what he's thinking…' she whined at last, as she had also practically done with Carlos the other day. 'You know him better than I do… So I thought you might shed some light on what's going on in his head.'

'Well…' Quatre rested his chin on his hand as he thought. 'We, and I'm speaking for all of us gundam pilots now, have been taught to focus on our mission and stay true to our training at all times. It is a hard thing to accomplish for any human being, most of all for teenagers, so we spent an important part of our lives struggling against any and all emotions we might have that we thought would interfere with said mission. It wasn't something we needed to continue doing once the war was over, of course, but when you've been doing something for so long it becomes second nature. Even Duo and I struggled, though we had less difficulties than the others. Heero succeeded as well, in great part to the man who told him to follow his emotions, but in an even greater part to you. I think his feelings for you became his anchor and that's what I was hoping would happen with Trowa as well… But maybe things are more complicated than that.'

'How so?'

'In a way, Trowa's decision to stay away from everyone was also a decision to stay away from his emotions. Now that he's started feeling again he's back to fighting against those feelings as he did during the war.'

'Okay…' Relena was trying her hardest to understand what Quatre was saying, but, instead of simplifying things for her, he seemed to be complicating matters even more. 'So Trowa was trying to spare himself the inner struggle between his heart and his reason, but now I brought it all back into his life and he's battling himself more fiercely than ever before.'

'Yeah. That's about it.' He nodded confidently.

'So what do I do?'

'Nothing. You do nothing.'

'Nothing?' she frowned. 'But I… I care about him.'

'So do I.' Quatre gave her a reassuring smile. 'If you must do something, stay away from him. He needs to solve this by himself, Lena. If you get caught up in his inner war you're only going to get hurt and if Trowa realises he's hurting you somehow it'll strengthen his convictions that he can bring nothing but harm to those he cares for.'

'So I do nothing… And keep my distance.' She repeated still not fully convinced.

'Yes.'

'But what if it doesn't work?'

XXX

When Trowa returned to work on Thursday, he had been leading a Relenaless life for four days. Never mind that every time he looked at the cat he remembered her or that he kept wondering why she hadn't called or showed up at his doorstep inquiring about him as he had half-expected her to do. He knew he'd made a mess of things and he had hurt her, but Tex had done nothing wrong. Not that the cat would care much whether Relena remembered him or not. Trowa knew _he_ was the one who cared, but because he also knew that it was best that he didn't, he decided to welcome his old life back.

Except he had a cat to worry about now… Previously his rule of thumb had been 'work first and foremost', but now… Now he needed to spend more time at home whenever possible. Cats might handle solitude like pros, but even they got lonely. It was the curse of all mammals to be social creatures, if not all the time than at least on occasion. He knew that better than anyone.

'Barton.' His boss was waiting for him at the lobby when he arrived. 'I have an orthopaedics case for you. As long as you promise to keep the peace.'

'That won't happen again, sir.'

'What happened? Linwood tells me he was only pulling your chain... To use his own words.'

'He was…mocking a client.'

'A client?'

'A special client.'

'Hmm…'

'As I said, sir, it won't happen again.'

'I'm sure it won't. I've spoken to Linwood as well and he has promised me no more "jokes" in the hospital. If he breaks his promise though, make sure you come to be before punching him in the face.' He finally handed Trowa the file he'd been holding like bait in one hand. 'Your patients are all doing well by the way, so make sure you trust your co-workers and rest more often from now on.'

'Sir.'

The man was already leaving when he turned and asked as an afterthought: 'What of the _special_ client?'

'I think I'll refer her dog's case to you.' Trowa said impulsively, reminding himself that he had to recover his old life back.

His boss paused, however for a second. 'As you wish. Just keep in mind your personal life should never interfere with your work be it in here or outside.'

Trowa watched the man leave. He had always known he was extremely observant, it was one of the many things that made him such a good doctor, yet he'd never expected… Maybe it was something Linwood had said. The man had always been jealous of Trowa's relationship with their boss… Maybe he was envious that an important woman like Relena had chosen Trowa as well. If word got out that the former queen of the world had picked him as her dog's personal physician he might get more clients and patients than he could handle… He didn't see why Linwood would want that. But he hoped reassigning Jackie's case to their boss would get the other vet out of his hair for once and for all.

He would have to talk to Relena first though and he feared that might completely spoil his budding efforts to restore his old life… There was no way other than to contact her, but he supposed he could wait for her to call him, which wouldn't happen for a while yet since Jackie was doing so well, and then give her the news. Plenty of time until then for him to come up with an excuse she would accept… Or so he hoped.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Two short knocks on the door. Relena looked up from the paper in which she'd been doodling. 'Come in.' The door was pushed open a fraction as the person behind it peered in. 'Come in, Chris. I'm already done.'

'You've been talking to Mr Winner a lot lately…' her assistant commented as she made her way to the desk. 'Is there something you're not telling me?'

'We're _not_ dating. If that's what you're asking.'

'Nor making plans to take over the world?'

Relena smiled at that. There had been many rumours surrounding her relationship with Quatre ever since he'd stayed at her institute in Sanc, still during the war. One of them mentioned an alliance to defend peace which they did have, in a way, just not the way people imagined it to be. 'No, not yet. He's just helping me look after a mutual friend's interests.'

'Mmm… And how's that going?'

'Well, _he_ thinks it's going well.'

'But you don't.'

'I don't.' Relena glanced down at the very thin folder Chris had laid on her desk. 'Is this all that's left?'

'Yes. You've been working like crazy this week. I doubt anyone can keep up with your speed so… We're ahead of schedule.' noticing her employer's dejected face she added: 'There will be more work on Monday.'

Relena sighed even though she did not wish to spoil her assistant's happy mood. She could see Chris was looking forward to a work free weekend, but if she had no paperwork to go over while she was at home how was she supposed to keep herself from contacting Trowa? She had been 'doing nothing' for nearly a week already and, whereas Quatre thought Trowa needed more time and everything would work out, she felt their plan was already doomed. Trowa had welcomed her sudden disappearance and gone back to his solitary life as relieved as could be. He must not even remember she existed anymore.

'Chris?' Relena looked up, her assistant was still standing there waiting. 'When, did I tell you, was I supposed to schedule another consult for Jackie?'

'You never said anything.'

'Do you remember how long it's been since the last one?'

'Mmm… Two weeks? I'd need to check your agenda to be certain, but…'

'No. It's fine. Maybe in a couple of weeks I'll schedule a new one.'

'Would you like me to call and schedule it for you already?'

'Well…' if Chris was the one calling, Relena mused, she'd still technically be 'doing nothing', wouldn't she? 'You can do that on Monday. Let's go home now, shall we?'

'Oh, definitely!' she practically ran out as if afraid her boss would change her mind, but then as Relena thrust the folder into her bag, Chris appeared at the door again. 'And don't let that problem with Mr Winner get to you. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. Enjoy your weekend!'

'You too, Chris.' She flashed a brighter smile than she really felt like to the other woman, then sighed to herself once again. It was bound to be a long weekend…

XXX

One week after Tex's adoption, the cat decided to sit by Trowa's side on the couch. It was a good sign and it also gave him a very nice feeling, to sit quietly watching the news and know there was someone there with him. It bothered him though, for whatever reason, not to have anyone to verbally share that moment with, the way Relena had always told him about the things Jackie did or about the progress she had made with the dog. Before Tex's arrival, Trowa's life had been basically more of the same every day, so he had never felt like telling anyone about it. All the people he could have told worked with him anyway and already knew anything he could have possibly told them. Now that had changed.

As days went by he kept wondering – as hard as he might try not to – why she hadn't called. Was she busy with work? Had he hurt her that badly? Offended her maybe? Was she waiting for an apology? Or was she just waiting for him to call and tell her it was time for him to pay Jackie another visit? Had he mentioned how long they would wait between the last consult and the next or had he just said they could space Jackie's consults a bit more? He couldn't remember.

He replayed all the moments they had spent together in his head, at least as far as he could remember them, but he found no clues. She hadn't looked upset when they'd last parted, just maybe a little exasperated with him. Nothing to confirm if he had offended her or to tell him just how badly he had hurt her. But if she was merely busy with work wouldn't she still have found the time to ring and ask about Tex?

He was still trying to answer those questions when her assistant called him one Monday morning. 'This is Chris speaking from the office of foreign minister Darlian.'

'How may I help you?'

'Ms Darlian would like to schedule a consult for her dog, Jackie, a couple of weeks from now.'

'A couple of weeks…'

'That'll be a month since you last saw Jackie.'

'On Saturday as usual?'

'Yes, please.'

'I'll be there.'

Trowa hoped Relena would forgive him for sending his boss in his stead. As much as he wanted to know why she hadn't contacted him, he was still determined to keep her away from him, or himself away from her as it were.

XXX

The following two weeks seemed to crawl by as Relena had no work to bring home and nothing else seemed able to distract her. Her mind kept returning to the past few weeks since Trowa had come back into her life, then skipping ahead to their upcoming meeting. She knew Quatre would not approve, but she had given Trowa as much space as she could and she suspected their plan had backfired splendidly anyway. Besides Jackie's health came first.

She wondered what she would tell him when they finally met… Writing speeches in her head had become second nature to her and she wrote and rewrote so many for this particular occasion she knew she'd be confident even if she had to improvise. When the day finally came, however, it was not Trowa who rang her intercom.

The man introduced himself as Trowa's boss and apologised for not informing her about the swap sooner, but his own subordinate had only told him about the consult the night before. Trowa was unable to come, but he had sent him and told him he'd already be registered in Relena's security system. She checked the man's file, as Heero had taught her to do, and indeed there he was. Apparently, Trowa had thought of everything and so, defeated, she allowed his boss to come up.

'I apologise again, Ms Darlian.' He said when she finally allowed him into her apartment.

'It's alright.' She reassured him. 'Unforeseen events are not that uncommon that they cannot be excused. I hope it's nothing serious that's kept Dr Barton from coming…'

'Oh, no. He's working today, in fact. I thought he'd already informed you of this, but perhaps he meant to do so today, in person...' Informed her of what? The man had already pulled on his lab coat and was now digging in his medical bag. He paused to meet her confused gaze though. 'He has asked me to take over Jackie's case.'

'He has?' she asked quietly. Quatre's plan really had gone wrong after all… 'Why?'

'I'm afraid he hasn't given me his reasons… But I suspect he means to dedicate himself to orthopaedics which is the specialisation he wishes to pursue. I've specialised in general surgery, but I've operated on many a cardiopath before which means I've treated them before, during and after surgery. I can assure you Jackie will be in good hands.'

'Well, I…' she was still trying to recover, but refused to make that man feel bad for a mess she and Trowa had made. 'I'm sure Trowa wouldn't have chosen you to replace him unless you were the very best.'

'Thank you. Now, if I may, please, meet Jackie…'

'Of course! This way, please.'

Relena watched, her mind only half-present as he examined Jackie and explained his findings to her. She wanted to call Trowa as soon as his boss was gone and demand an explanation, but she felt that would only make matters worse and wasn't even sure she had the heart to do it. Jackie definitely didn't. The vet increased the dosage of one of her meds and prescribed a diuretic as well.

'It's essential that you take her to the hospital to repeat those tests as soon as possible.' He added as he put away his instruments and lab coat.

'I've a trip coming up, but I'll take her as soon as I'm back.' She promised, leading him towards the lift. 'Thank you, doctor. And I apologise for inconveniencing you. You came on such short notice… Dr Barton could've just cancelled.'

He shook his head and smiled. 'This is my job, Ms Darlian. Emergencies come without warning so we must always be prepared. My number's on the prescription, call me if you need anything.'

His kindness made her want to cry, but she held back. She hadn't really been able to pay attention to what he had explained to her during the examination. Now she felt dreadfully confused… And so utterly alone. Once the elevator took him down and out of sight, Relena glanced at the prescription in her hand and could not help but worry.

XXX

Trowa did not ask his boss about Jackie even though he wanted very much to. He knew the man wasn't pleased with how Trowa had set him up, but there had been no other way. If he'd told Chris he would be sending someone else she would have immediately informed her employer and Relena would have contacted him herself. He'd been able to avoid talking to her for over a month so he could not risk having to do so now. She had the power to make his resolution crumble, not just because he felt so attracted to her but because she was a skilled negotiator.

Part of him had expected her to call, after Jackie's consult, to demand some sort of explanation from him, but she hadn't. He wasn't sure if her calling and they arguing would have bothered him more than the feeling he had now, a never ending feeling that at any moment she might contact him and catch him off guard… And she did at last ring him when he least expected it.

It was Thursday night and Trowa was lounging on the couch with Tex, reading some articles in search of an alternative treatment for one of his most recent patients when his mobile started vibrating on the side table. He glanced at it and saw Relena's name on the ID. By the hour she must have just got home from a late afternoon meeting. He knew she had plenty of those. What he didn't know was why she would phone him all of a sudden. Had she finally decided to confront him on his disappearance?

Convinced to ignore the call, he turned back to the article and resumed reading until the vibration died. Before relief could settle, however, the phone started buzzing again. Of course she would insist. Relena wasn't one to give up easily. With a sigh Trowa stood and made his way to the kitchen to refill his glass. He stopped to pet Tex first, but the cat scurried away as soon as his hand got too close.

'Not yet. Alright.' He murmured, trying to think of anything other than why she was calling him.

Maybe she was drunk and his name had been on her speed dial. Maybe someone else had died… No, Quatre would have called him if that were so. Unless… Unless Quatre was the one who'd died. But if that were true it would be all over the news, wouldn't it? She wouldn't need to call him. No, he was overthinking things. Relena was just ringing a second time in case he had not heard it the first time, that was all.

Yet when Trowa returned to the couch his phone was still buzzing on the side table. He had been gone for a minute at least so this must be her third or fourth call. Suddenly a feeling of dread seized him and he answered before he could give it another thought.

'Trowa?' her voice wavered. He could hear a mix of fear and relief in it.

'Yeah, it's me.'

'Thank god! Listen, it's Jackie. I just arrived from a four day trip and I hadn't been here for five minutes when she collapsed. I thought she was dead, but…' she paused, took a deep breath, and then continued. 'She's awake now, but she hasn't stood up since then and I have no idea what to do!'

'I'll be right there.'

He did not think. He just acted. Just as he had done when he'd first kissed her and then when he'd kissed her in the diner, just as he had done when he'd told her the truth in front of his block of flats instead of lying, just as he had done when he'd punched Linwood in the face. Maybe he'd known how to follow his emotions all along, except it felt more like following his gut than anything else.

He broke many a speed limit, but he made it to her apartment in nearly half the usual time. Relena already held the door open when he stepped out of the lift. 'She's in the kitchen.' She told him before he needed to ask. 'I was afraid to move her.'

Jackie lied on her side, her eyes unseeing and her breaths rapid and short. Trowa unzipped his bag with some difficulty and was surprised to find his hands were shaking. He had to take a few deep breaths to try and calm himself or he wouldn't be able to hear the patient's vitals over his own. Relena's presence too disturbed him as he seemed to be more aware of it than ever before. He did not only see the emotions on her face, but felt them blossom in his own chest.

'We need to take her to a hospital right now.'

'To a hospital?' she asked, visibly frightened.

'There's little I can do here. We need to stabilize her…' he met her eyes and, for a moment, he felt completely lost as if he too didn't know what to do. 'And I fear I may not be able to treat her anymore.'

'Why?'

'I'm too personally involved.'

'Too personally involved?' Relena frowned confused.

'It'll all work out.' He reassured her and really did hope he was right.

XXX

Relena stood by the receptionist's counter filling the paperwork as Trowa rushed inside with Jackie, barking orders at people he'd never even seen before. She felt a lot more reassured with him there though her heart's frantic beating still echoed in her very parched throat. They'd known this might happen eventually… _She_ 'd known when she'd adopted a dog with a heart condition, yet nothing could have prepared her for the level of anxiety and hopelessness she was suddenly experiencing.

'Ma'am?' the secretary was watching her from across the counter and Relena forced her eyes away from the direction Trowa had taken and back to the forms in front of her. 'I need your signature here, here and…here. Now, _these_ are terms of consent...in case the worst happens… It's up to you whether you sign them or not and you don't have to do so right now, but it would be nice if you gave them a read, okay?'

'But she isn't even dead yet!' she felt like protesting, but the woman was smiling at her so sympathetically Relena could only nod and carry the papers with her to one of the vacant seats.

She hadn't even finished reading the first page when Trowa returned and flopped down on the seat beside hers with a scowl that betrayed his bristling irritation. What little focus she had vanished right then and there and she put down the documents as she turned to him.

'They kicked me out.' He informed, unasked. 'Said they know what they're doing.' Unsure what or how to feel about that, Relena looked down at the consent forms in her hand, however unseeing. Her companion must have picked up on her distress for he quickly resumed. 'They're right, of course. My presence would only pressure them. This is one of the best veterinary hospitals in the country. She'll be alright, Lena.'

She didn't know whether he was trying to reassure her or himself, but he had used her nickname and not even realised it. He did, however, sense her sudden scrutiny and stood, mobile in hand. 'Excuse me, I need to make a call.'

Relena followed his every step with her eyes. He'd called her by her full name before. Rarely did he use it, but he had anyway. Heero had never used nicknames for anyone, but the way he said her name had had something completely unique about it, something that made it different than the way anyone else said it. The way Trowa had just spoken her nickname gave her the exact same feeling. It was something unnamed and unplaced, but it was there nonetheless and the difference between Heero and Trowa was that back then, in her stupidity, she'd thought nothing of it… Now she knew better.

That realisation made her even more impressed at his stubbornness and resilience in his battle to stay away from her, but she decided not to think too much on it just yet. She took a deep breath and started reading the terms of consent again. There was one to authorize a necropsy to investigate the cause of death, one to authorize any body parts collected during the necropsy to be used in a scientific study, and a third to authorize the body to be sanitarily disposed of.

Relena signed the first and second ones though she wasn't sure yet what she'd like to do about the body… She knew she could have it cremated, that was what her parents had decided to do with Bubbles whose ashes still sat on the mantelpiece in the Darlian estate, but would there be anything left to cremate after the necropsy? At that morbid thought, she put away the forms and decided not to think of it again unless she actually had to.

Trowa returned to his seat looking slightly relieved. 'My boss is on his way. He'll be able to get in and oversee everything in person.'

The mention of the other vet reminded Relena of Jackie's last consult. 'He _told_ me she needed to repeat her tests… As soon as possible, he said. But I had this trip…' she shook her head but the frown marring her features only deepened. 'Trowa… Is this my fault? Is it my fault Jackie's in there now?'

His frown seemed to reflect hers. 'No.' he was vehement in his answer. 'Of course it's not your fault. No one could have predicted her condition would progress so fast all of a sudden.'

'I asked Chris to look after her while I was gone and she said it went all right, that she took all her meds… She only commented that Jackie had been eating little, but we thought that was due to my being away.'

'It could be both because you were away and because she wasn't feeling so good… We cannot know for sure.'

Relena shook her head. Surely there _had_ to be an explanation! There had to be something they could have done to prevent it! If only she hadn't gone away… Suddenly, Trowa's hand was enveloping one of her clenched ones. He pried her fingers open and she straightened the wrinkles they had left on her skirt before meeting his eyes. His hand still held hers even as he turned away.

'First lesson we must learn when dealing with lives is, as advanced as modern medicine may be, some things are beyond our control. Some are even beyond our understanding. We may speculate and we may or may not find the right explanation, but we'll never know for certain… And that's something we must learn to live with.'

She looked down at their hands and wondered how many unsolved cases he had learnt to live with by now… She laid her other hand on top of his and squeezed, knowing he too hoped Jackie wouldn't be adding to those numbers.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Most of the time they were silent, listening to the hospital's PA which called a vet or another to the reception or to a consult room from time to time, and to the comings and goings of people and pets which grew fewer and far between. Trowa only spoke briefly to his boss before the man slid into the restricted areas of the hospital. Then he returned to his seat beside Relena. He could see she was tired from her trip, but worrying over Jackie kept her awake. They must have sat there for an hour though it felt more like five.

Relena jumped to her feet when she saw his boss approaching, she didn't know the man like Trowa did so her anxiety was plain for anyone to see. Trowa, on the other hand, remained seated. He could tell by the man's face that everything was under control and that Jackie was alright for now.

'She's out of danger.' Came the reassuring news. 'They'll wait until she's completely stable then repeat those tests.'

'I'm sorry…' Relena shook her head slowly. 'You said as soon as possible, but I had this trip and I thought…'

'No one's to blame in this.' He tried to placate her. 'Not even a specialist could have anticipated such a fast decline as this was. Once she's recovered, we'll change her medication but for now the best we can do is go home and rest. She's in good hands, Ms Darlian.'

'I'm sure she is. Thank you.'

'I'll be in tomorrow to see her myself. Now, if you could just accompany me to the receptionist's desk… They need a signed authorization to perform those tests.'

'Of course.' She took a step forward, but then stopped and turned back to Trowa.

'I'll wait here to accompany you back home.' He assured her. She must have forgotten he had left his bike there and ridden in the cab with her and Jackie… She'd been worried beyond reason at that point.

He tried not to think of what would happen next, of over a month of hard work avoiding her put to waste after a single phone call… He'd told her not to blame herself and so had his boss. Sometimes misfortune happened no matter how hard you tried to prevent it and yet… Trowa could not help but wonder if it wasn't all _his_ fault. Had he stayed close to Relena and Jackie maybe he could have caught it sooner and treated her at home, or he might have taken her to the hospital to repeat her tests himself, while Relena was away, and stopped her getting worse at all… There was no knowing for sure. He had told her so himself, but a large part of him felt this was his fault, he was to blame in this more than anyone else.

Suddenly he had the feeling that, no matter what he did, it was always the wrong thing. What was the right way? How could he prevent others from getting hurt because of him?

'I'm going inside for a moment to see her.' Relena told him when she returned. 'If you wish to go ahead…'

'No.' he shook his head. 'I'm your bodyguard tonight.'

'Oh…' she had obviously forgotten she was without one. 'Right. I won't be long. Promise.'

He nodded and watched her follow his boss into one of the corridors. Had he done the right thing? Made the right choice for once? He knew Heero would have approved… Quatre too. So maybe the answer was 'yes' this one time.

XXX

They were lucky to find a cab parked by the entrance when they walked out of the hospital. Relena checked her watch as they slid into the backseat and found it was already past eleven. At that hour, it would probably take them less than fifteen minutes to make it back to her apartment, which was a good thing since she was pretty much done in. Yet that also meant she had a very short window in which she could argue her case with Trowa and there was still so much to say… That night she was so tired she barely knew where to start and wondered if it was even worth trying.

'I'm sorry for troubling you with all this… I know I should have called your boss, _he_ 's Jackie's doctor now, but—'

'It's fine.' He shook his head dismissively. She could see something was troubling him, but she could not afford to leave him to his thoughts… She had maybe ten minutes to say what she wanted to.

'Thank you for driving all the way here and accompanying me. It really means a lot that you're here.'

'It's fine.' He repeated distantly and Relena began wondering if he was actually listening.

'Trowa?'

'Mm?'

'Trowa.'

'What?' he finally turned to her, clearly annoyed by her constant interruptions.

She met his eyes, searching their depths for a sign, something that told her to go ahead, that he was listening now and that her words would make a difference. 'Never mind.'

It was her turn to look away and _that,_ more than anything she could have said, finally caught his attention. 'I'm sorry.' He said suddenly. This time Relena wasn't surprised though she still felt like he was apologising for much more than she realised. The fact that he resumed his apology after a moment did catch her off guard, however. 'I know I keep doing the wrong thing.'

'Is that why you disappeared after that Saturday?'

'You disappeared yourself.'

'I thought you needed time to think things over.'

'I thought you needed time to heal.'

'Heal?'

'I never meant to hurt you, but I know I have done so anyway.'

'Trowa…' she shook her head as she sought the right words. She didn't even know what she was feeling anymore… 'You really think I'm that weak? I know I don't look very sturdy, but I can withstand a lot more than you can even imagine. You need a lot more than just a few missteps to hurt me.' He opened his mouth to reply, but frowned and closed it. Seeing as they were approaching their destination, Relena resumed… Her conversation with Carlos coming back to her. 'If you're doing the wrong thing then I forgive you and hope you do the right thing next time.' The cab parked in front of her building and she paid the fare before Trowa could say a word. 'You underestimate us. Me, Quatre, your sister… You underestimated Heero. We _can_ handle emotion, we _can_ stand to get hurt even if _you_ can't.'

She slid out of the car and rushed to the front door. Her heart beat so fast she could do nothing but speed up to keep up with it. She felt like she had just ruined all of the past month's efforts and wished she could simply disappear for another month, but Trowa's backpack and helmet were still in her apartment so she had to let him up to retrieve them and he had to follow her even if he did not wish to.

He was already behind her by the time she managed to fish her keys in her purse and unlock the glass doors that led into the lobby.

'What happened to your doorman?' he asked suddenly as if she hadn't just indirectly called him weak.

'Oh, uh…' she stumbled over the words in her surprise. 'He called in sick this morning…and the other night doorman's on holiday so…'

His cool, almost resigned attitude started to unnerve her as the metal doors of the lift sealed them in complete and utter silence and, at last, she could not stop herself from asking: 'Aren't you going to say anything?'

'Like what?'

'I don't know. _Defend_ yourself.'

Trowa shrugged, he was staring at the doors as they opened to let them into Relena's floor. 'Catherine has called me a coward before…' he met her eyes briefly, then stepped out. 'Maybe she was right.'

'I didn't…mean it that way.'

'How did you mean it then?'

He scrutinized her with his piercing green gaze as she stepped in front of him to unlock the door, but Relena focused on the task at hand and made her very best to ignore the pressure. 'I only meant to say that you can't prevent people from getting hurt, not even yourself, and that, when that happens, it's okay for you to rely on others. Your friends and your family, we care about you and not letting us help you through hard times, not letting us suffer with you… It hurt us even more than the suffering itself ever could. Don't you think the others are suffering right now? Don't you think they have suffered all these years worrying about you?'

'Probably.' He conceded and she could see how much it pained him to admit it. He stepped past her without a word and gathered his belongings while she watched from the doorway.

'Won't you do anything about it?' Relena forced herself to ask when he walked back out and into the lift. 'You really wish to spend the rest of your life alone?'

He held her gaze to the very last second, but she could not tell what he was thinking or feeling anymore. He could close up so fast and thoroughly at will, it was a real gift. What was she supposed to do now?

XXX

Trowa could not sleep that night. His whole life seemed to come back to him together with Relena's words and all that had happened since Heero's death. Deep down he'd always known he'd been a selfish coward… Caring about others and being cared for had hurt more than the loneliness he had long grown used to. When the war ended, there had been a lot of pressure and not of the kind he was used to. It was a pressure for him to do the right thing with his life. Join Preventers, stay in the circus, do both, do something you're good at. Why start over?

But it was not just that he wanted a fresh start… He _needed_ it. And yet he wasn't ready to face others' disappointment… Or what if he failed? Would he have to live with them constantly reminding him of how he hadn't listened to them when he very clearly should have?

Going back to school and trying something new… Starting over. It had been a big step and he'd been afraid to fail. How could he hide his fear if those who loved, yet still doubted, him were all there watching like vultures? Did he do the same thing to them without realising it? This wasn't the kind of man he wanted to become…

So he'd moved away, or _run_ away as some would rather say, and he'd started over on his own as he felt better, more confident, less pressured to succeed. He _had_ considered returning triumphantly when he'd graduated, but then he'd got so used to his solitary life style… It felt so liberating not to have anyone to report back to. Besides… Was a graduation enough? He did not think so. He did not feel successful just yet. He wanted more.

And while he'd pursued all that he'd somehow, without realising it, put his own life aside… But now it had returned in the form of Relena Darlian and a grumpy cat named Tex, and – as hard as Trowa tried – he did not think he could go back to the way things had been before them. His emotions already stood in his way and it was his fighting them that had caused Jackie harm and not the other way around… All that was left now was for him to take note of his mistakes and start correcting them. One by one.

He began by calling Relena, as soon as he got home the following night, and asking for news about Jackie. She sounded happy he had called.

'She's doing much better. In fact, your boss just called. He said they've already got her started on her new meds, but wish to keep an eye on her during the weekend to see how she adjusts, so I'll be able to bring her home on Monday if everything goes according to plan. He explained all that happened to her in detail and how the new meds are supposed to help her… He's great, really.'

'I know. I studied very hard so I could work under him.'

'You sound like you care about him.' He could practically see the amused smile on her face.

'Hn.'

'Aren't you going to run away from him as well?' Trowa chuckled at her playful tone. 'You can't help caring for others, Trowa.' She added almost painfully now.

'I know. That's why I'm calling…'

'Why you're calling?' she was clearly puzzled and he had to fight the urge to beat around the bush in order to annoy her. The mere thought of an exasperated Relena was enough to amuse him.

'I want to give us a try. Was that how you phrased it? Sounds unbearably odd.'

'Oh, it does now, does it? How would _you_ phrase it then?'

'I would ask… If you'd like to go out with me.'

'Well, that's hardly imaginative, but yes.' Her smile was audible again. 'And I'm glad you decided we were worth a shot.'

'I thought we could start with a dinner tomorrow night. I'll work during the day, but I can pick you up at half-past seven if that's okay with you.'

'Pick me up? On your motorcycle? Haven't we already had this conversation?'

'I'll buy another helmet.' He offered mockingly, knowing her mind was long made up.

'How about _I_ pick _you_ up at work? What time do you get off?'

'Oh, that depends…' he paused as if giving it serious thought. 'In the mornings sometimes… Sometimes at night…'

'Trowa!'

He chuckled, picturing her red faced and horrified even though he knew she was a big girl and could handle sexual innuendo like a pro. Maybe he could come up with ways to really make her blush… 'At six. Supposedly.'

'I'll meet you there then.' Then after a pause she added. 'I can't wait to see how Tex is doing.'

'We're having dinner at my place then? Remember I don't have anything nourishing to serve you.'

'I'll make reservations at that restaurant where we had our first lunch together. I thought I might see Tex when I drop you off.'

'Drop? I thought you'd said you'd _get_ me off?'

'We'll see…' Relena trailed off saucily. 'Til tomorrow then?'

'Til tomorrow.'

It was only when he hung up that Trowa realised her picking him up at work would surely start those annoying rumours again… He sighed and tried to recall if Linwood would be working the next day as well. They'd been staying out of each other's way as if they'd come to a wordless but mutual agreement, yet Trowa would rather be safe than sorry when it came to the other man. If he and Relena were really going to date from now on, maybe he'd have to confront Linwood… But all in due time, he supposed.

All in due time.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

At first, Relena thought nothing of the fact that Trowa had asked her to wait in the parking lot, as far as possible from the main entrance… He probably just wanted her car out of the way of any incoming emergency or maybe to protect her, a public person, from any prying eyes. Nothing unusual there, but when he approached her car, glancing surreptitiously around and hunched to nearly three quarters of his actual height, she began to wonder… Was he trying to hide their relationship? But why would he?

'Hey.' He greeted her when he'd slid into the backseat beside her and pulled the door closed.

'Hey… You're not sneaking out, are you? Because, if you still have things to do, I can wait.'

'No. I'm done for the day. We've a reservation, don't we?'

'Yeah, but it's still early…' she motioned for Carlos to go anyway. So that wasn't it… She'd hoped she was wrong about him hiding their relationship, but she should have known better than to doubt her instincts. Well… Maybe he just needed time and this had nothing to do with him still trying to separate the old life from the new at all costs. It never hurt to be certain though. 'Just so you know… You're not off the hook just yet, Trowa Barton.' He raised his eyebrow at her. 'I just don't want you to think that you're going out with me tonight and that's it. I'm going to need more proof that you're really willing to stop isolating yourself and make peace with those who care about you.'

Trowa said nothing, but she could see he was giving it serious thought. The restaurant wasn't much further and Relena thought he needed more than just a short car ride's time to think about what she had said. So she changed the subject before he could feel pressured to give her and immediate answer.

'So, how was your day?'

'Are you sure you'd like to hear about that?' He smirked and she felt like he was trying to trick her into saying 'yes' and listening to some bloody horror story.

'You don't need to give me all the gory details.'

'It's kind of boring without them.'

She wasn't going to risk losing her appetite though. 'Your boss tells me you want to become an orthopaedist…'

'Yes. I was a mechanic once so… Some things are hard to let go of, I guess.' He shrugged. 'I like building and designing prostheses. The whole body can be seen as a sort of machine, but the way the limbs work seems the most machine like to me.'

'So you're making mobile suits out of dogs?' she teased, warmed up by his passion for the subject and how it clearly related to the things he had experienced before.

At that, he chuckled. 'No, nothing quite so fancy… I wouldn't want those dogs to be apprehended and taken away from their families now, would I?'

'Of course not.'

'I do wish to work with gundanium at some point though. See how it behaves.'

'I thought you already knew.'

'Based on what I know, I do think it's a very good option, but scientific research is the only way to prove anything. And unless I find a way to make it cheaper there'll be no point in it either.'

'Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.'

'As do you.'

'Oh, I don't know for how much longer I'll be able to dabble in politics… I think, or _feel_ rather, that as peace solidifies I grow more and more obsolete. Don't you have that feeling?'

'That I'm growing obsolete? Or that _you_ are?' he sounded something between annoyed and surprised at the question so she was kind of relieved Carlos was already parking. This way she would be able to easily change the subject if she felt the need to.

'Me, of course.'

'Your experience is indispensable. You've lived both in times of war and in times of peace and people that know what war is like and want to prevent it at all costs are the ones that actually help preserve peace.'

'I couldn't agree more, Miss.' Carlos added as she slid out after Trowa.

'I hope the people of the ESUN and my colleagues all agree with you.' She commented wishfully and then turned back to the car. 'Will you wait here?'

'It's my job.' The driver-bodyguard reassured her. 'Enjoy your dinner.'

'Thank you. I promise you can take the day off next Saturday.'

'I'll hold you to that.'

The restaurant was still rather empty but the headwaiter was very careful to lead them to the table Relena had reserved, the most isolated and well protected one. She thanked the man heartily and turned back to find Trowa with what looked like a smirk on his face.

'I should have probably told you, but… You needn't have made reservations. This place isn't that popular.'

'Well, I did need to or we might not be sitting at this particular table.'

'This is the same table where we sat that day.'

'We've come full circle now.' She smiled as she picked up her newly poured water.

'Should I order the same thing then?'

'And leave before dessert?'

'No.' they said in unison which ended in a mutual chuckle.

'That was a waste of a very good dessert.' Trowa commented. 'Did you have yours?'

'That day? No. The way you left… It kind of killed my appetite.' She complained only to tease him. She hadn't really been _that_ upset about it. 'Carlos had his. You could ask him about it later.'

'I doubt he remembers it. Besides, I'll have my own opinion by the time we get back to the car.' They passed their orders on to the waiter and Relena took another sip of her water as Trowa watched nearly thoughtfully. 'Schedule a meeting with Quatre. How's that for proof that I'm willing to repent?' he said suddenly as if he'd barely given it any thought. She could see he'd considered the idea carefully though.

'I think that's a good start. I'll arrange the meeting, but you know you cannot stop there… You must keep making progress until you're in touch with all your old friends again. And, eventually, also your sister.'

'It is my intention to do just that.' He assured her. 'In due time.'

'What about your co-workers?' Relena wondered.

'My co-workers?' He frowned. 'What about them?'

'Can you allow them to see you as human? A man capable of emotion and of failure?'

Trowa looked more amused than anything at her question. 'They probably already know I'm human…' he smirked at that and she waited for him to elaborate. 'I punched another vet in the face to defend your honour.'

She did not bother hiding her surprise though their entrees arrived in time to stop her asking him a thousand questions. When the waiter left, she had opted for one only: 'That mandated leave… Was that why…?'

'Yes, actually.' He admitted it with ease though he did look rather put out. 'In my defence, it wasn't exactly a knee-jerk reaction. Linwood had been bothering me ever since I started working there.'

'Oh, so it's one of those mutual dislike situations.'

'It is now. I had nothing against him at first, but he makes it really hard for me to just mind my own business as I'd intended to do.'

'He sounds a little bit like Dorothy when she first arrived at my institute in Sanc.'

He shook his head, swallowing a forkful. 'No. He's worse than Dororthy. Aside from a technician and a couple of nurses, Linwood, my boss and I are the only men working in that hospital so he has this…. _Notion_ that I'm trying to steal his spot or something. Or maybe he feels like I already have.'

'That sounds likely.' She nodded, swallowing a mouthful of her own. 'You think you're… fighting for dominance, in a way?'

'Definitely. And my acquiring an illustrious client as yourself only accentuated things.'

'Hmm…' Relena finished her salad and watched for a moment as Trowa finished his own. It was true, she thought, that men got into workplace conflict less often than women, but when they did they had a much harder time settling those disputes, merely because of how obstinate they were. 'Have you tried talking to him?'

'No. I've tried avoiding him.'

The waiter quickly arrived to remove their empty plates, replacing them with their main dishes. Relena took a long whiff of hers, the smell was mouth-watering. 'Perhaps if you tried talking to him you might reach a consensus.' She finished fixing the napkin on her lap and met his eyes. 'I know making concessions may seem like admitting defeat, but it isn't and it might earn you a bit of peace. Wouldn't that be worth it?'

Trowa scowled. 'I had been considering the possibility of confronting him, but only as a last resort.'

'Well… Maybe you might consider it as the _best_ resort?' she smiled at his childishly reluctant attitude and decided that maybe a little push was in order. 'I could reward you.'

He glanced up from his plate. 'How so?'

'Oh, I don't know… I'm sure you'll come up with something.'

'I will most definitely think about it.'

'Please do.'

'Do I get a reward for meeting Quatre as well?'

'No, meeting Quatre's easy enough.'

'No, it isn't.' he pointed his fork at her for emphasis. 'He'll give me a sermon. I'm quite sure of it.'

'Oh, I doubt it. He feels responsible for your leaving.'

'That's stupid.'

'Maybe, but you know Quatre… He's a guilty heart.'

'That he does.' Trowa conceded. 'Fine. No reward for Quatre then, but all others deserve one.'

'We can negotiate.'

'Suits me fine.'

Their eyes met and Relena could not stop herself from smiling. He returned it in his own smug way. This was never how she had imagined falling in love and being in a relationship would be like, but she was happy. Infinitely happier than in any scenario she could have ever pictured. She hoped things would only get better from now on and that eventually they would feel like all the puzzle pieces had fallen into place.

XXX

'Why not…' Trowa wondered, for a moment, how she'd take his whispered suggestion, but decided that the worst he could get was a 'no' and that she must have got used to his straightforward ways by now. 'Send Carlos home when we get to my place?'

Relena whipped her head around to fix him with slightly wide eyes. 'Wouldn't we be taking things too fast?'

'Fast is our normal.' He peeked at the driver-bodyguard through the rear-view mirror as he leaned even closer to whisper in her ear. 'And I feel like Carlos is waiting to jump on me any moment now.'

'Don't be silly.' She said though he could see her give the man a wary glance herself.

'Besides, we've already done the deed.' He reminded her.

'Yes, but there was no sleeping over.'

Trowa shrugged. He didn't see what the big deal was. The moment they'd 'gone serious', 'started dating' or whatever it was they were doing, she seemed to have started overthinking things. He wanted it to be just the two of them again, together in private.

'I didn't bring my pyjamas…or my toiletries.'

'Why are you making up excuses?'

'I am not!' her protest had them both glancing up at the rear-view mirror to check if Carlos was paying them any mind, but he was focused on manoeuvring into the tight spot in front of the block of flats where Trowa lived. Relena turned back to him with a serious pout. 'Fine, but I'm going to need a toothbrush.'

'I'm sure I have a spare somewhere.' He smiled smugly, only inches away from her tempting lips, then quickly pulled back and slipped out of the car before she could change her mind.

He felt, rather than saw, her shake her head hopelessly, then heard her start talking to Carlos. He did not stay to listen, but moved to wait for her at the front door. His building might not have a doorman or any of the security measures hers did, but he knew she would be safe with him.

'It better be an unused spare.' She commented when she joined him.

'Trust me. I know better than anyone just how unhygienic it is to share a toothbrush.'

They took the stairs to the second floor and he let her in. Tex was lying on the couch and did not even bother to get up, his eyes widened when he saw Relena though. She, on the other hand, immediately forgot all about her reservations, which Trowa thought were only meant to annoy him, and her face lit up with juvenile delight.

'Hey…!' she greeted from the door. The cat blinked. 'So how is he? You never really told me.'

'He sits with me on the couch, follows me around the place… Likes to keep an eye on me. But I haven't managed to pet him yet. Not _really_.'

'Oh…' she frowned. 'That's rather sad.'

'He is his own master, as they say, with his own past, his own feelings and ideas…' He shrugged. 'All I can do is respect him and his space.'

'Very nice of you.' Relena smiled reassuringly.

'Would you like a drink?'

'What are my options? Beer and water?'

'Actually… I bought a few things yesterday, since you were visiting…' he informed her smugly and allowed her to precede him into the kitchen area where she opened the fridge herself.

'Mmm… Not bad. Does this mean you'll be making me breakfast tomorrow morning?'

'Are you sure you want that? I haven't cooked in _years_.'

'I'm sure you'll manage.' She assured him as she turned back to the open refrigerator. 'So…'

'I bought the wine for you. I'm not an expert, as it isn't my go-to drink, but I hope it's a good one.'

'It is.' She confirmed, holding the bottle in front of her eyes.

'Why don't you wait in the living room while I pour us a glass?'

'Don't mind if I do.'

It took him some time to find the corkscrew abandoned at the back of one of the drawers. It had come with a cutlery pack he'd purchased upon moving and, thinking it rather useless, he had shoved it into a drawer and forgotten all about it until this very moment. It was a little bit like what he had done with his social life, which Relena had made him unbury just as she was making him unbury that corkscrew.

He arrived back at the couch, glasses in hand, to find her sitting beside Tex, petting him contentedly as he purred. She met his eyes and a triumphant smile took over her face. 'See what I did?' she inquired more than a little self-satisfied.

'Yeah. I see you've made more progress in two seconds than I've made in a week.' He feigned irritation, but soon smiled. 'That's good.' He nodded, handing her one of the glasses, then slowly, carefully taking a seat on the other side of the cat. 'I've met quite a few traumatised animals in my life… Many were afraid of men. Exclusively. And violence against animals isn't directly linked to domestic violence for no reason. To think we are responsible for so much suffering…'

'It hasn't been easy for many men after the war ended…' she agreed. He was sure she had a different, but similar view working around as many people as she did. 'Women… They adapt more easily.'

'I know you do.'

'Do you?'

He tried hard not to let his bitterness show… He failed. 'Catherine moved on so fast it seemed like we'd never been at war at all.'

'But you didn't.' Relena filled in the gaps with ease.

Yet Trowa did not feel like discussing the past, so he focused on the future instead. 'I don't think she'll ever forgive me. She can hold a grudge just as well as she can move on.'

She watched him thoughtfully as he dried his glass. 'Should I fetch the bottle?'

'No. There's no need.'

'You know…' she began, glanced briefly at Tex, who still purred on the seat between them, then seized his hand, which he had draped across the back of the couch, and gently placed it on the cat's back. 'Time can heal all wounds.'

'Can it?' he wondered. He'd always thought all time did was shove the pain and resentment into a drawer the way he had done with his corkscrew. If you dug deep enough you'd still find them just as they'd been before.

'Well…' she seemed to sense his scepticism and reconsidered her statement. 'Love is key. So as long as there's love… But I'm sure Catherine loves you and, if she does, she _will_ forgive you. No two ways about it.'

'I guess…' Trowa looked down at Tex – still purring – as he ran his fingers through the black fur on the cat's back. 'I'll trust you on this.'

'Keep in mind I'll be here for you.' Relena took his hand again and squeezed it before meeting his eyes with conviction. 'No matter what happens.'

As if sensing he was suddenly standing in the way, Tex jumped off the couch and ran towards the kitchen. Trowa scooted closer to Relena before the cat decided to come back. 'That's a…comforting thought. Thank you.'

'I'm glad you think so.' She whispered as she stared up at him.

He knew then this was _the moment_. The moment of realisation, when he understood his old solitary life was officially dead to him. It was a life without pain and without worries, but it was also an empty life, and Trowa knew – right then and there – he'd rather feel a world of pain than feel nothing at all. Especially if it meant he could enjoy the warmth of all those feelings he found in Relena's gaze. So he kissed her and let the world melt around him as he got lost in her. Her lips, her hair, her body, her unwavering optimism and kind bright smile.

He understood then why Heero had loved her so devotedly until the very end. She hadn't changed him. No. She'd given him hope, given him something worth living for, which was so much more than something that was merely worth fighting for… It wasn't just a reason to get up every morning, but a reason to _breathe_. It was everything. _She_ was everything to him now, and Trowa knew, if he could, he'd never let her go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

At some point in the middle of Monday afternoon Trowa's phone rang. It had been a slow work day so far and he'd been filling some reports in the lounge so, when he felt the mobile vibrate, he picked it up readily.

'I'm on my way to get Jackie!' Relena told him excitedly.

'That's good. They should explain her new treatment to you all over again, but make sure you let me know if you still have any questions.'

'Trowa…' she laughed quietly. 'You needn't treat me as if I were a client.'

'Sorry. I'm on work mode.'

'Am I disturbing you?' she asked suddenly worried.

'No. Don't worry about it.'

'I did not realise… I just wanted to tell you that I'm fetching Jackie and that we'll be meeting with Quatre on Friday.'

'Friday?'

'Friday night. If you can. He said it's okay if we're late too. He's used to late meetings and he can't wait to see you.'

'I bet he can't…' Trowa did not believe Relena when she told him his friend would not chew his ear off and, despite the fact that he did miss Quatre, he was already mentally preparing himself for the ordeal.

'Think you can make it?'

'Sure. I don't see why not.'

'Great.' She paused for a moment and he could sense she was debating whether or not to say something else. Luckily, for Trowa's curiosity, she decided to voice her thoughts at last. 'Did you talk to Linwood yet?'

'No.' he hoped she could hear his scowl as easily as he could hear her smiles when they spoke without video.

'Because I've thought of a very nice way to recompense you for your efforts…'

'Yeah? And what's that?'

'I'll tell you later…if you survive that chat.'

'Ha-ha-ha. Lucky you we live an hour apart or there'd be payback tonight.'

'We'll have to remedy that at some point.' She commented ignoring his bait. 'One hour drive is a long way…'

He shrugged though she could not see it. 'We'll just have to settle for seeing each other on the weekends.'

'For now.'

'For now.'

'And on Friday nights.'

'Some.' He agreed. 'I'll make sure I'm free this Saturday so I won't have to drive all the way back here drunk and sleepy.'

'As if I'd let you. You'd sleep over at my place and drive back on Saturday morning.'

'Hung-over and sleepy then.'

'Are you ever? That time we drank a _lot_ and still you weren't hung-over.'

'Neither were you.'

He could hear her smile again or sense it rather. 'I have to go now. We're parking… Talk to the guy, will you?'

'I'll try.' He groaned, not wishing to make promises he could not keep. It being a slow day he figured he'd be able to find and talk to Linwood without much trouble though. His only problem then was how to approach the man… And, more importantly, what to say.

If he came on too strong and aggressive they might end up fighting. They probably would, regardless of what their boss had told them to do or not to do. But if he came on too soft and friendly, Linwood might not take him seriously. At least, Trowa figured, he wasn't dealing with a woman or he would have had to worry about all the 'between the lines' stuff as well. Though, knowing Linwood, he wasn't so sure the man wouldn't find a way to twist his words… Maybe even get him sacked. Should he ask their boss to mediate?

With a groan that was nearly a growl he ran his hand through his bangs in frustration. Talking was way too complicated. Avoiding Linwood had been working pretty well so far… True he'd been avoiding the man when they'd met and he ended up punching him too, but this time it was mutual. _They_ were avoiding _each other_ and it was looking good. Except Relena had offered a reward and he was as curious to know what it was as he was anxious to receive it. Whatever it may be.

So he put away his reports and went to the reception to find out if his nemesis was in that afternoon. Turned out he was not only in, but standing by the counter, trading workplace gossip with the secretaries before leaving for the day. When he saw Trowa approaching he seemed to cut the conversation short and move in with the goodbyes so he could be gone before they actually met and were forced to be civil to each other.

'Linwood.' Trowa called out before the man could step too far, he'd already turned away from the secretaries and was clearly prepared to rush out.

'What is it, Barton? I'm in a bit of a hurry, as I'm sure you can see.'

'I'd like to have a word with you. It'll only be a minute.'

Linwood scowled. 'What is it?'

'I'll walk you to your car.'

'Fine.'

They left the two women whispering to each other behind the counter and stepped out into a wet parking lot. Thankfully, the rain had taken a break so they didn't have to share an umbrella as well as an awkward conversation. 'I don't want there to be any more trouble between us.' Trowa began. He was good at improvisation, but when it came to Linwood there didn't seem to be any way he could say the right thing.

'Yeah. I thought that was why we were _avoiding_ each other?'

'True, but I figure we can't simply avoid each other forever.'

'Well, we can _try_.' And with that Linwood picked up his pace.

Trowa bit back an angry bark and sped up. The other man was already opening his car when he caught up. 'I was trying to be nice, Linwood, but if that's how you wish to do it then let me go straight to the point.'

Linwood threw his bag and lab coat on the back seat and banged the door shut so he could lean, arms crossed and hackles up, against it. 'Go on. I'm listening, Mr _Nice_. As if I could do anything other than obey our boss' protégé.'

'You know as well as I do that there are no favourites here.'

'Oh, do I?'

'Yes, you do. We're different people so we each get treated differently, that's all.'

'Yeah… You're treated like number one and I'm treated like number…one _hundred_.'

'Well, if you want to classify people then I'll tell you… Everyone knows Carol's the boss' favourite.'

'Don't throw women in the middle of this, Barton.' Linwood shook his head with incredulity. 'This is between _you_ and _me_. Because _I_ worked very hard to get here. I made mistakes, I had to start over, I got fucked pretty badly, but I made it. And then _you_ show up and in _seconds_ you steal all that it'd taken me _years_ to conquer.'

'For your information, I have been through hell myself.' Trowa stepped forward, but realised what a dangerous move he was making when a passer-by sent them a funny look. He pulled back, cleared his throat and continued. 'I don't care about any of this. Hate me if you wish. We can keep avoiding each other. I'd very much like that in fact. All I really want is to make sure you'll leave Ms Darlian alone if she ever happens to show up here again.'

Linwood snorted then slowly a smirk spread over his lips. 'So you _are_ together.' He shook his head visibly amused. 'And everyone thought you were something more than human… What happened to your little act, Barton? Pathetic. You're as much flesh and blood as the rest of us.'

'Think what you will. It's not as if I could stop you anyway…' Trowa shrugged, but as he prepared to leave he pointed his finger at the other man and gave him the evil eye. 'Just don't mess with Relena.'

'You'd lose your job over your _girlfriend_?' Linwood shouted after him. 'Because if that's the case then I just might.'

'I might lose my job, but you'd be losing a lot more, Linwood. Mark my words.' He shouted back. He knew Linwood was all empty threats, but it did not cost to be sure. He only hoped Relena had a good reward in stock for him because this had felt like waging a mini-war. Hopefully, it hadn't been all for naught.

XXX

'I'm sorry I'm late.' Relena halted before him nearly out of breath. Her end-of-the-week meeting had turned into a heated argument between one of the oldest ministers and one of the newest ones and it had taken over half an hour for the others to calm them and the dispute to be settled. And they'd thought if anyone would make them late it would be Trowa…

'It's fine.' He said dismissively, then gave her a once-over. 'Are you ready to go?'

'Ready.' She smiled. 'Quatre and I agreed nothing fancy.'

'Good. Who wants to dress up at the end of a long day?'

'A long _week_ you mean.' She smiled sympathetically at him.

'I bought you something.' He said suddenly and, by the twisting of his lips, she could tell it wouldn't bode well for her. Then he stepped aside and she could see the brand new sparkling helmet on the bench beside his own.

'Oh, no…'

'Oh, yes. It wasn't so bad that time we went to the diner now, was it?'

She sighed, unable to lie at his face. 'Very well then… Let me just dismiss Carlos—'

'Already have.'

'What if I said "no" to your bike ride?'

'You didn't.'

'But I could have.'

'No, you wouldn't have.'

'Confident, aren't you?'

'Always.' He smiled smugly. 'Should we get going then?'

'Yes, please.' Relena accepted her new helmet and linked her arm through his as they walked out of the building. She'd been reluctant when she'd scheduled to meet him in the lobby of her work building, but decided she did not, and _should_ not, care what others said. Besides, she could not ask him not to care and be full of secrecy herself. 'It's a pity we won't be able to chat on the way though… I'm anxious to hear all about your conversation with Linwood. Your refusal to tell me over the phone only sparked my curiosity.'

'I was hoping you'd forget.'

'I never forget. Have you earned your reward, you think?'

'Oh, I've _definitely_ earned my reward. But that story can wait 'til tomorrow. We've the Quatre inquisition to face now.'

'You're not flaunting your laurels...' she felt forced to observe as they reached his motorcycle and Trowa put on his helmet. 'Does that mean things did not turn out as you'd expected?'

'I don't know. Does it?'

'I hate it when you do that.' Relena fastened her own helmet and took her seat behind him. She could feel his smirk even if she could not see it.

'Do you?' she gave his shoulder blade a light punch to emphasize her point. Trowa laughed. 'I'll tell you all about my chat later. Now hold on tight.'

He drove slower than he had before, Relena noticed, but if that was for her sake or because he wasn't too eager to see Quatre again she could not tell. Once he parked by the Asian restaurant though she made sure to reassure him that there would be no sermon, no reprimand, because his friend knew better than to remark on things that should now remain in the past.

'If he does reprimand me or give me a sermon though, you'll owe me one.' He put away his helmet and gave her a very wide smirk.

'I already _do_ owe you one.' She complained if only to keep him distracted as they walked towards the entrance.

'You'll owe me two then.'

'I think it's time _you_ owed _me_ some.'

He chuckled as they stepped inside and were enveloped by the dark, modern atmosphere of the place. The headwaiter led them to Quatre's nook which seemed to be the darkest one of all. His way of ensuring their privacy as Relena saw it. He stood up when he spotted them and she could feel Trowa tense beside her. Suddenly doubtful, she prepared to owe him yet another reward, but instead of speaking, when they reached Quatre, the man's eyes brimmed with tears and he pulled his long lost friend into a hug. She heard Trowa let out a deep breath and moved to take her seat, giving them space as she removed her coat and put away her tote bag.

They joined her after only a few whispered words and she was glad she hadn't been wrong about Quatre's reaction… Not that he wouldn't give Trowa a sermon the next time they met. 'It's good to see you two together again.' She commented with a smile.

'Yeah.' Quatre promptly agreed then smiled widely. 'I can't wait to get us _all_ together again.'

Relena saw Trowa cringe, however discreetly. 'It'll be just like old times.' She mused, forgetting – albeit only for a second – that Heero could no longer be there. That second was more than enough to make her feel bad.

Sensing the sad turn their thoughts had taken, Quatre quickly changed the subject. 'So what would you like to drink? It's all on me tonight.' He raised his hand to call the waiter.

'Oh, no!' Relena felt obliged to protest. 'There's no need!'

'But there is.' He insisted. 'Trowa?'

'I'm fine either way.'

'There'll be plenty of opportunities for you to return the favour, I'm sure.' Quatre smiled sweetly though there was an edge to that statement.

'Of course.' Trowa agreed without hesitation, reassuring the other man much as he kept reassuring Relena that he was back to stay.

'Well… In that case…' she conceded happy to see they were already agreeing with each other.

'In that case we'll eat twice as usual.' Trowa filled in with exaggerated gravity.

'I would if I could.' She laughed.

'Eat as much as you like.' Quatre beamed. She didn't think anything could upset him that night. 'You're my guests tonight.'

Raising his drink, Trowa agreed. 'Cheers.'

'To Heero.' Relena raised hers, making amends for having forgotten him.

'And to Trowa's return.'

XXX

'Will Tex be alright by himself?' Relena asked as they parked in front of her building and removed their helmets.

'I stopped by before I drove here. He's got enough food, water and clean litter, so he'll be more than fine until tomorrow night… Probably even Sunday night.'

'I'd feel bad for keeping you away for so long.'

'You could come with me tomorrow… We'll take Jackie with us, and Carlos can pick you up on Sunday night.'

'Take Jackie? On the motorcycle?'

'Why not? We'll strap her carrier to the back of the seat and you can ride on my lap.'

'Very funny.'

He really did find her sarcasm funny and laughed aloud at it as the doorman let them into the building. There did not seem to be a single side of her he didn't find amusing, except perhaps for the side that lectured him at times or the side that apologised profusely for unnecessary things. No, even then he could still roll his eyes at her. 'You could carry Jackie in your arms.' He offered as they stepped into the lift.

'For a whole hour? I doubt she'd stand it.'

The doors dinged open and they walked out. When Relena finished unlocking her door Jackie was already barking. 'She sounds livelier than before.'

'Oh, yes. She's been a lot more active since they got her started on the new meds.'

As if to prove it the dog ran out into the foyer as soon as the door opened to sniff at their feet. Trowa snapped his fingers, trying to attract her attention. She did pause, for a second, and gave him a long reproachful look. 'I think she hates me.' He commented smiling widely in his amusement.

'Of course not! What a horrid thing to say.' Relena led them all inside and locked them in. 'Will you tell me about your heart-to-heart with Linwood now?'

'I'd been hoping you'd forgotten.'

'I told you I don't forget.' She chuckled at his antics. 'Your reward is waiting too, you know…' she gave him a long inviting look to stress her point.

'Alright.' He flopped onto the couch and took a deep breath. 'He thinks I stole his life or something of the sort and just won't listen to me. We argued. We hate each other, but we agreed to continue avoiding one another. And I've threatened him into behaving if you're ever around. That's it.'

'That's it?' she'd just taken her seat, clearly ready for a much longer, much more detailed account.

'Pretty much.'

'You didn't punch him, did you?'

'No.' he couldn't help laughing at her reproachful tone.

'So what did you actually say?' relenting, he told her the whole story, at least as far as he could remember, while she watched from across the couch, massaging her feet. 'Well…' she said when at last he finished. 'You can't appeal to everyone.'

'Apparently not.' He promptly conceded, then after a moment of silence gave her an urging nod. 'So what about my reward?'

'Right, just…' she stood up and started making her way deeper into the apartment. 'Give me a moment.'

'Sure.'

He watched her walk away and tried to imagine what kind of special lingerie she was going to put on… Or maybe she'd bought kinky toys or some hot accessories… Not even the tiredness, leftover from a long week and an even longer Friday, could stop his mind wandering or his body craving whatever surprise she had in store for him. She returned only moments later though and in the same clothes she'd been wearing all day, minus the shoes.

Relena regained her seat, grinning like a true Cheshire cat and suddenly pulled two small rectangular pieces of paper from behind her back. 'Tah-dah!'

'What's that?' he asked, not bothering to move closer to see what was written in the colourful slips paper.

'Tickets to the circus.' She must have seen the panic written on his face for she quickly amended, looking rather apologetic. 'Not _that_ circus! Not yet at least… Anyway, circus's in town and I thought you might like to go.'

Trowa reached out a hand for his ticket and read the information carefully. Having worked at a circus he had grown familiar with the competition, but he didn't know many of the troupes performing on Earth; Bloom's circus rarely left the colonies. 'It's tomorrow afternoon.' He observed.

'Yes.'

'What would you have done if I hadn't talked to Linwood?'

'You told me you had.'

'I could've been lying.'

'You wouldn't do that.'

'To pull your leg? I just might.' He smiled charmingly. 'Actually, the idea did cross my mind. If I hadn't already talked to Linwood at that point, I could've just said "good morning, Linwood" and considered it done. You only told me to talk to him, after all. You never told me what I needed to say.'

'I'm glad you didn't do that. I would've taken Chris with me to the circus if you'd pulled that off.'

He didn't believe her but stopped himself from teasing her about it for once. 'And does the _reward_ continue after the circus?'

'I'll think about it.' She looked away feigning disinterest.

'Or maybe it could start right now…'

When her eye slid his way and glanced at him out of its corner, they both knew that seemingly discreet look had betrayed her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

'Is this supposed to be a date?' Trowa asked as he took off his helmet.

'Why?'

'Because if it was a date it would have to be about you.'

Relena looked up from her boots, which had sunk into the still wet sand of the circus' parking lot, to roll her eyes at him. 'No. It's not a _date_.'

' _Women_ like dates.' He explained, as they started making their way to the gigantic star covered tent, hoping perhaps to appease her. ' _Men_ like what comes _after_ the dates.'

'I'm sure I could introduce you to many a _romantic_ man who actually _likes_ taking his partner out on dates.'

'Who says I'm not romantic?' he raised his eyebrows looking down at her as she clutched his arm.

'Well… Not liking dates doesn't sound very romantic to me.'

'What's romantic about devoting a whole outing to somebody else's pleasure?'

Relena waited until they were past the entrance and the ticket collector to share her thoughts. 'A date doesn't have to be all about one person… It's about spending quality time together.'

'We needn't go out to do that.'

'Actually, sometimes, we do need to. We could have never had this experience in any of our living rooms.' She smiled at the sea of chairs that suddenly stood before them. It led straight to the circular arena backed up against heavy velvety looking curtains. The air was hot and heavy with the smell of deep fried food and Relena heard Trowa take a deep breath, his eyes soaking in every detail. She seized his hand and pulled him forward. 'Come. Let's take a seat.'

'Do they have animals?'

'I don't think so. Circuses here on Earth have stopped employing animals many years ago. The laws are more malleable in the colonies though.'

'I'm sure it's for the best.' Trowa nodded.

'Did you like it?'

'What?'

'Working at the circus.'

'It's a full time job.'

She smiled to herself. 'Aren't them all?'

'In a way.' He shrugged. 'But the circus is different. You _live_ there so you end up working even when you're off duty… Now I get to go home, even if it's after working thirty-six hours straight, even if my mind is still at work.'

'You chose a demanding job.'

'Don't tell me you don't take your work home yourself.'

'Not as I used to. I used to stay awake all night worrying… What if I cannot get this proposal approved? What if I don't live up to the expectations? What if I cannot stop another rift from forming between the ESUN and the colonies? Another war. What if? What if?' she paused and took a deep breath, overcome by the simple recollection of the anxiety she'd experienced when she'd first taken over her father's role. 'I had a hard time, but you're a gundam pilot… Stronger than I ever was, than I could ever be, so I'm sure you'll be fine.'

Trowa snorted. 'I'm sure there isn't a single one of us, gundam pilots, who would agree with that. Well, perhaps Chang would, but he'd probably be lying. To himself as well.'

His words resonated within her and she quietly, almost reluctantly confessed: 'Heero told me more than once I didn't know how truly strong I was…'

'And I bet you didn't listen.'

'It made no sense!' she couldn't help defending herself even though she knew he was teasing her. 'I thought very hard about it but I could not see what he meant. I could not see how I could be stronger than him… Than _you_. You were my models, what I strived to be like.'

'I'm glad you didn't succeed.' He smirked and she swatted him on the head with the half of her ticket that she'd been allowed to keep. As if he could even feel it. 'It was you who gave us strength, Lena. Not the other way around.'

Her breath caught whenever he called her that, and Relena was quiet for a long moment trying to see things his way, as she had once tried – and failed – to see things from Heero's point of view. At last she shrugged. 'You gave _me_ strength and I gave _you_ strength. We each have our truth and none of them disproves the other. It's a matter of point of view after all.'

'You're probably right.' He conceded and reached for his wallet before gesturing for a passing popcorn vendor. They only sold one size so he bought a packet for each of them. The lights turned off moments after the man walked away, but even though the show was about to start Relena sensed their conversation still wasn't over for him. 'As long as we're together we have infinite strength.'

In the dark, she marvelled at his words and then the arena was lit and the ringmaster was walking in to greet the excited audience. He wore the typical attire of long tailed red coat over white breeches, and knee-high boots with a top hat to match. At first, he appeared to have come straight out of her childhood memories and Relena was disappointed to find he had neither mutton chops nor a thick moustache that curled at the edges.

'They seem to be very traditional.' Trowa observed once the man had finished his introduction and the stage crew started bringing out the things that would be needed for the next performance. 'Some circuses are very modern these days.'

'I know.' She whispered back, leaning as close to him as she could. 'What was yours like?'

'Traditional too. Even more so than this.'

'If it wasn't, you'd probably no longer have animals.'

'Probably.' His eyes turned back to the arena as a couple of men in leotards broke the curtains and were acclaimed by the spectators. 'We risked our lives when we performed. That's how traditional we were.'

Relena watched the show with new eyes after that, but despite being traditional in appearance this circus did not employ animals and in all performances the artists' safety was assured either by a safety net or a safety cable. She was relieved. Even more so that Trowa was not performing with his sister but sitting right there, beside her, safe and sound.

XXX

The spectacle ended but the feeling of nostalgia seemed to have come to stay. Trowa didn't have the same impression as Relena who had probably been horrified at his revelation that he had, and many people still did risk their lives while performing in circuses… All he had were good, pleasant memories of the adrenaline coursing through his system during a performance and the applause loud in his ears at the end. Despite being a very private person he had enjoyed the attention, at least as long as he could bask in anonymity afterwards but that's what masks were for. Not that circus artists became _that_ famous and recognisable... In a way, that was the same feeling he got working as a surgeon.

'I guess…' he began later as they shared an ordinary meal in a random fast food restaurant. 'I wouldn't be here if not for the circus… and Catherine.' Surprised by his sudden confession, Relena put down her hamburger and met his eyes. He waited for her to finish chewing so she could tell him whatever was in her mind, but she remained silent and seemed to be waiting for _him_ to elaborate instead. So he gave her a chance and told her what was in _his_ mind. 'I think it really _is_ time I paid my sister a visit. Even if she doesn't forgive me.'

'Would you like me to come with you?' she took his hand in hers, looking conflicted for his sake.

'As much as I'd like to run away with you…' he smiled meaningfully at her. 'I think this is something I need to do by myself.'

'You're probably right. It's probably too soon for us to meet each other's families anyway.'

'Are you sure you _ever_ want me to meet your family?' he chuckled amused at the very notion of him meeting someone's family.

'Why not? You're a decent man with an honest job.'

'I'm not _that_ decent.' Trowa smiled wickedly before throwing a crispy golden chip into his mouth.

'Fine, but my mother doesn't need to know that. You only need to show her your serious side.'

'My _boring_ side, you mean?' he teased, but Relena was taking the conversation as seriously as she wanted him to behave around her mother.

'She'll like you.' She assured him. 'As long as you treat me right.'

'But that's what I've been trying to tell you. Your mother won't want to think you're dating a saint either.'

'She doesn't care if you treat me right _in bed_ , only if you treat me with respect… _in general_. What we do or don't do in private is not my mother's concern.'

'The mothers I met in the circus would beg to differ.'

'Oh, _that_ 's why I wanted to come with you! You must know all sorts of interesting people from the circus!' she whined. Still he wasn't about to let her convince him.

'You'll meet them all someday.'

'Promise?'

'I promise. I just think my unexpected return _and_ a girlfriend would be too much to dump on my sister at once.'

'Girlfriend, huh?' Relena teased though her smile was one of pleasure more than anything else.

'Would you rather I called you something else?'

'Oh, no. Girlfriend's more than fine. Though I can't see why your sister would be _that_ surprised… After being gone for ten years she shouldn't be surprised if you came back married and with children.'

'Now, _that_ would definitely kill her.' He couldn't help laughing despite the meanness of the idea.

'Yeah. You really don't look like the marrying fatherly type.'

'Are you sure I'm the right choice for you then?'

'You clearly don't know the first thing about me, Trowa Barton.'

'Whoa! Don't you think you're underestimating me a little?'

She laughed at his over-the-top annoyance. 'Fine. Maybe you do know a thing or two… Irrelevant stuff.'

'I don't think knowing how you look like in your birthday suit is irrelevant knowledge… Or knowing you've a penchant for wine, you _can_ cook just _not_ dessert, you have a soft heart but a sharp tongue…' he smirked at the exaggerated look of horror on her face. 'I could go on.'

'Ah… I think you've made your point already.'

'Well, then… If you're done eating I'd like to go back and get on with what comes _after_ the date…'

'I thought this wasn't a date…' Relena smirked.

'And I thought dates were supposed to be about spending quality time together… Isn't that what we're doing?'

'So you've liked our _date_?'

'So far… Quite.'

'Enough to change your mind about dates in general?'

It was his turn to smirk. 'I'll tell you after the next part.'

XXX

Relena suspected, as they made their way to the departures gate, that she was more nervous about Trowa's upcoming meeting with his sister than he was himself. She felt responsible for his return to friends and family, and was certain that, if something went wrong, he would blame _her_ for it. The logical part of her assured her that that would not happen and that, despite the fact that she had been the catalyst, he was still doing it all of his own free will. But then there was the illogical pat of her and that part lay all the responsibility on her shoulders so she knew she would blame herself if something went wrong, even if Trowa didn't.

'I'll be fine.' He assured, surely sensing her unease. 'It's yourself you should worry about…'

'Huh?' she turned towards him, surprised by the sudden change of subject though she suspected he had done so, on purpose, to distract her.

'Didn't Heero teach you to disguise yourself properly? A pair of shades and a different hairstyle are hardly enough.'

'For your information, Heero _did_ teach me to disguise myself but I just can't wear gym clothes in public… Besides, when people think of Relena Darlian – or Peacecraft, if you prefer – they picture a fifteen year old girl not a woman. So my disguise is quite enough as it is.' Trowa smiled smugly. Relena did not have the heart to spoil his fun, however, by telling him she had been quite aware of his bait when she'd taken it, instead she let him bask in his apparent victory. 'How long will you be gone?' she asked as they neared their destination.

'A week at most. Less if Catherine sends me away.' She nodded. It was not as if they spent their week together, after all they lived an hour apart, but she still felt like she was going to miss him. He seemed to pick up on her train of thought for he added: 'You can call me, you know… We'll be in touch.'

'I know, I know. It's just… I thought an hour was a long time, but it's actually a comfort knowing I can visit you anytime I want. Now you'll be over a day away.'

'See? I told you an hour wasn't much.'

Relena rolled her eyes at him. Even then, being right was his primary concern. She moved to the next subject on her list. 'I'll check on Tex so you needn't worry about him.'

'I know you will. You can check on him every two or three days. No need to drive all the way there every day. He'll be fine. Grateful for the solitude even.'

'But he likes me!'

'I'm just saying.' He shrugged. 'You'll do whatever you want to anyway, you stubborn woman.'

'You're one to talk.' He smiled and she did the same. They stood in front of the gate now and they both knew she could not follow him in without a boarding pass. Suddenly, she felt like he might be leaving forever. What would stop him from running away the way he had done ten years earlier? 'You _will_ come back, won't you?'

'Oh, I don't know… Should I?'

'Trowa, do be serious.'

Trowa sighed. 'You really think I'd leave behind all that I have built, all that I have conquered here? Just like that?'

'No. No, I don't. But I'm still not sure I fully understand the reasons why you left in the first place so… We clearly think differently when it comes to these sorts of things.'

'Well…' he stepped closer and removed her sunglasses. 'These make little difference.' He mumbled to himself, then leaned closer to whisper in her ear. 'Even if I _did_ wish to leave my entire life behind and start over a second time… I'd never leave _you_.'

Taken completely aback, Relena felt herself blush and gaped up at him, not knowing what to say. He seemed to be searching her eyes for something, but she had no idea what it was or whether he found it or not. She did find a special tenderness in his gaze though and knew he was telling the truth. So she kissed him passionately and sent him on his way, confident that he would come back to her.

'Who would've thought…' she heard him talk to himself as he walked away. 'I could make you blush without saying a single lewd thing.'

When he glanced back at her over his shoulder, quite aware that she'd been listening all along, he smiled brightly. Relena beamed back at him and shook her head. 'Who would've thought…'


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Relena was standing right there when he crossed the arrivals gate. Back on Earth at last. She seemed as relieved as he was, however for her own reasons. Her smile grew wider and wider with every step he took and he feared by the time he reached her it would have split her face in half.

'You stayed for a week, so… I take it your sister forgave you?'

'After she slapped me senseless? Yeah.'

'She _slapped_ you?' she gaped at him, her face torn between horror and amusement.

'That's Catherine for you.'

'Now I get why you thought adding me to the mix would be too much.'

He merely gave her a meaningful look as he started making his way towards the exit. He never bothered to greet Carlos, choosing instead to pretend he wasn't there. He knew his attitude miffed Relena, but – as her bodyguard – the man had to resign himself to being invisible.

'You think she would've still slapped you if I had been there?' she wondered after a moment, almost walking backwards in order to see his face.

'The question is if she would have slapped _you_ as well.'

'You think she would have slapped me?'

Trowa laughed at her face which had suddenly grown a shade whiter. 'No, but she _would_ have still slapped me.'

'That doesn't make me feel any more confident.'

'Don't worry. I told her about you already.' He said as nonchalantly as he could only to see her face go from sceptical to surprised.

'You did?' Relena halted right where she was. 'And what did she say?'

'She said…' Trowa paused to recall Catherine's exact words. '"As long as you don't pull any of this disappearing crap again, Trowa Barton, you may do whatever the hell you want." Of course her language wasn't as polite, but that's pretty much it. She was quite mad and wouldn't stop being mad until the day I left.'

'Wow…'

He wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean but he let Relena digest his words as they crossed the parking lot and as he threw his backpack into the boot of the car. 'How's Tex? And Jackie?' he changed the subject once they'd slid inside the vehicle.

'They're doing great. Both of them.' She smiled. 'I took Jackie with me to your place on Thursday. They got along better than I'd expected.'

Trowa raised an eyebrow at her disbelieving words. 'How so?'

'Well… Jackie barked incessantly and Tex watched from the kitchen counter. I had to lock Jackie in the bathroom because she wouldn't stop… But they did not kill each other so I count that as a victory.' He could only shake his head, amused at her optimism. 'This way we can spend more time together on the weekends and holidays and leave no one alone.' She explained.

'We _just_ need Jackie to stop barking.' Trowa mocked, wondering how difficult that would actually be.

'M-hm.'

'You won't give up on this idea, will you?'

'Nope.'

'I'll consult a colleague who's a behaviour specialist then.' He said and hoped the woman would know of a way to bring peace and quiet back to his humble flat.

XXX

'You think it's too soon?' Quatre asked from her computer screen. Seeing the uncertainty on his face, Relena bit her lip.

'I don't know…' she confessed. 'He's just come back from a visit to his sister's and that seemed to go alright… Actually, he seems to be handling this whole thing a lot better than I thought he would. Still… This might be just the thing that'll halt his progress.'

'You really think so? But it's just— Well… You know. _Us_.'

'When did you wish to schedule it? I'll talk to him.'

'Duo wanted it to be yesterday. He can't wait to see Trowa…and tease him on his disappearance, of course. But I'm not in as much of a hurry. Neither is Wufei, I'm sure.'

'Well… You know what? If it's just the four of you, I don't see why you should wait much longer.'

'You mean you wouldn't be there?' he sounded almost as if her absence physically pained him.

'We'll schedule another get-together later. With more people.' She reassured him with a smile. 'It'll be for the best. You'll feel more comfortable to catch up if you're by yourselves.'

'You're probably right…' Quatre hesitated, though only for a second. 'I'll schedule it for the weekend after this one. I won't be back on Earth before then anyway.'

'Couldn't you make it Friday?' she wondered sheepishly. 'The weekends are practically all the time Trowa and I have got to spend together…'

'Of course!' he looked horrified at the thought of intervening in what little time his friends had together and, knowing him, Relena was sure he truly was. 'Friday night it is then.' He jotted it down and smiled up at her. 'You know, Lena, you did such a great job bringing him back to us…'

She could not help blushing at the compliment. 'That was all him, you know… I just gave a little push.'

'We both know you did a lot more than that… But that's not my point. What I really wanted to say was… Thank you.' Quatre's lips curved up in a way that she could see the gratitude written all over his face. 'Look after him, will you? He deserves to be happy and so do you.'

'I will.' Relena smiled with just as much emotion as she saw reflected in his eyes. 'And thank _you_. I wouldn't have made it without your support either.'

'We make a great team, don't we?'

'Oh, we definitely do! You suppose that's why people think we're planning to take over the world?'

'You think we could?' he wondered and quite seriously at that. 'I'd rule over the colonies and you'd command the ESUN… We'd never have a war, ever again.'

'Well… We did convince Trowa to come back, didn't we?'

'You're right. We _can_ take over the world.'

'The question is… _Should_ we? I think, as wonderful as that sounds, it'd be a _lot_ of work. And between my job, Jackie and Trowa… I'm already way too busy.'

Quatre could only laugh.

XXX

'I didn't expect you so soon.' He commented as he opened the door for her dressed in nothing but a bath towel.

'It's not "soon". I'm right on schedule.' she replied, after taking in the sight of him, and walked past his half naked figure with her duffel-bag in one hand and Jackie's leash in the other. 'You've clearly lost track of time.'

Trowa admired her backside for a moment, smirking to himself, then closed and bolted the door. Jackie, having spotted Tex, started barking hysterically, and he took a deep breath before walking towards Relena who was trying very hard, albeit unsuccessfully, to get the dog's attention.

'Shhh!' he stepped towards Jackie, as his colleague had instructed him to do, and she stopped, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. The dog seemed about to start barking again, but froze when she met his hard eyes. He picked Tex up from the kitchen counter and placed him on his cat tree where he sat, watching the little canine with a mix of interest and annoyance. Trowa glanced from one to the other and thought this was good enough for now.

'Well…' Relena watched his handiwork from the foot of the bed, where she had placed her bag, her arms akimbo. 'At least she listens to you.'

'You shouldn't use her name when you correct her. Her name is like a reward to her. And be louder and more assertive.'

'I think you mean "frightening".'

He followed her gaze to find Jackie watching him warily and shrugged. 'Whatever works best.'

'I'm sorry I brought her without asking you first, but I thought you'd like it if I stayed for the whole weekend.' Relena purred as she traced the line of his clavicle with her index finger. 'We haven't seen each other in nearly a fortnight after all…'

'Actually, I'm glad you brought her.' He smiled cryptically at her when she raised curious eyebrows. 'I have good news. Just let me put on some clothes.'

'I don't know why you're putting clothes on when we both know the only thing you think about is taking them off…'

'Well…' he smirked to himself and continued dressing. 'If you wish to have dinner naked I'm all for it, but you'll have to take _your_ clothes off too.'

'Uh… No, thank you. I'd rather keep some things separate.'

'I thought you'd say that. So… Shall we?'

'I have some news myself.' Relena commented as they walked into the kitchen.

'What are they?'

'They're not exactly news to be honest, just… Quatre's scheduled your gundam pilot get-together. He wanted me to let you know. Just the four of you. In two weeks.'

'Alright.'

'Is that okay?' she asked cautiously as if afraid he might bolt at the news.

Trowa chuckled. 'I'm not that easy to scare, Lena. I had to try living away from everyone, from the past. I thought I was doing right by everyone. That's why I left. Not because I was scared.'

'Having to answer your friends' questions can be a scary prospect though.'

'Right.' He snorted. 'I thought we might order Chinese. What do you think?'

'That's fine by me. It's actually been ages since I've had takeout.'

'Have you _ever_ had takeout?' she gave him a bored look. 'What? I thought you only ate gourmet or homemade meals.'

'And I thought _you_ only ate beer.'

'There's a lot more than beer in my fridge now.'

'Now, yes, but for the majority of the last ten years…'

'I've survived, haven't I?'

'I keep wondering how…' she watched as he called the nearest Chinese restaurant and ordered a variety of things. 'So what about _your_ news?'

'My news… My news… Forgot. Sorry.'

'Liar.' Relena threw a scrunched up napkin at him. 'Tell me already.'

Trowa laughed. 'You know that hospital where we took Jackie when you came back from your trip? I may be getting transferred there next year.'

'The one near my place?' she gaped and he wasn't sure what to make of it. He had expected her to be ecstatic.

'Yes, the very one.'

'Why?' Relena frowned worriedly.

'My boss thinks it's my best option if I really wish to pursue orthopaedics.'

'But you… Will you be happy leaving Edward Dyce?'

'Yeah. I've been working there for a few years… I think this will be for the best.'

'Wow…' she was frozen for a moment, slowly processing everything that those news entailed. 'Will— You could move in with me.' She realised suddenly.

'I _had_ considered it… That's why I thought it nice of you to bring Jackie. Those two need to learn to get along… And even if it's still early now for us to move in together, there's still plenty of time to get adjusted to the idea.'

'Of course!'

'But you think it's a good idea?'

'What? Us moving in together? Why not? I mean… You've got to admit we have the most fun when it's just the two of us. At home.'

Trowa smirked. 'I couldn't agree more.'

'I guess you'll have to meet my mother before then though… Because this arrangement will be the equivalent of us getting married for her.'

'You don't think she'll be against it?'

'Well… I think she'd rather we got officially married first, but… Times have changed.'

'You've the general public to worry about as well though.' He reminded her rather wearily. He hadn't given the idea full thought until this very minute and now there seemed to be so many complications he actually began to consider going back on it. 'Maybe I should get my own place. We can take turns sleeping at each other's flats.'

'No!' Relena protested vehemently, giving him the same look he'd given Jackie so she would stop barking. 'I don't care what the general public thinks. This is _my_ life to do with as _I_ see fit.'

'If you say so…'

'We've enough time to figure it all out in detail, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Trust me.'

'I do.' He said taking her hand in his and smiling. 'Completely.'

XXX

She arrived earlier than scheduled, but she could not help it. It had been hard enough going to bed the night before… Wondering if the remaining gundam pilots' first meeting after ten years had gone over well, if Trowa had really attended and not taken a spaceship to the furthest colony possible… Relena knew she was exaggerating and that everything would be alright in the end, yet she could not help but worry.

Leaving Carlos at the entrance, she made her way through the long rows of tombstones almost to the very end of the cemetery. She stopped by her father's grave and laid some flowers under his name, apologising for not visiting more often. Then she moved on and, finally, reached her destination.

It was just as she remembered it… No signs of Heero coming back from the dead and digging his way out yet. She chuckled bitterly at the thought, knowing that if _anyone_ could do that it was Heero, but also sure that if his spirit still lived somewhere that it was in a much better place than this.

'I brought flowers.' She announced, laying the bouquet at the foot of the tombstone. 'You know… I seem to have become a fusspot ever since you left and, especially, when it comes to Trowa. You think maybe you rubbed off on me without my realising?'

'I think you took over his role when he could no longer be there.' His voice reached her a few moments before he did. 'Like those fish that change their sex according to their shoal's needs.'

'You're early.' She smiled, turning to meet his eyes.

'Which means you're even earlier.' He replied with a sly smile, remembering she'd used that line on him once.

Fighting the urge to ask him about the night before, Relena turned back to the stone. 'So here we are… Back where it all began.'

Trowa stepped beside her and laid his own flowers by the grave. 'Thank you, friend. You were right all along.'

'Right about what?'

'That's between me and him.' He teased, smirking at her.

'Oh, come on, Trowa. Don't you think Heero would have told me? We were best friends!' She insisted, knowing he would cave in. They both knew just how curious and _insistent_ she could be.

'About following my emotions.'

'He told you to do that?'

'Back during the war, but I hadn't given it much thought since then. I was not very good at it.'

'Neither was Heero.' When he continued to watch her, blinking stupidly at the bitter edge on her tone, Relena was forced to elaborate. 'Don't you think, if he had followed his emotions, that he would have confessed his feelings to me? Or made a move of some sort?'

Trowa's expression softened and he shook his head. 'Don't mistake feelings for emotions. They're not always the same.' His sudden calm wisdom had _her_ blinking stupidly at _him_. 'Feelings are concrete. Emotions change according to the situation. Perhaps he never sensed that it was the right moment, never felt like his feelings would be welcome so he did not share them.'

And it was all her fault, she thought as she turned back to the carvings she had ordered herself. 'I'm sorry.'

She felt Trowa's hand squeeze her shoulder, strong and comforting. 'The others should be here soon.'

'You invited them?' Relena could not hide her surprise as she spun back around to look at him.

'We all felt bad Heero could not be there yesterday… So we decided to pay him a visit and toast to him _here_ , where he can "partake".' She smiled, glad to see him go out of his way to please a man they had both loved, in their own way, even though he clearly did not believe in spirits or life after death or any such thing.

Her eyes ran around the cemetery… On the day they had first met, on that very spot, the sun had been setting on both their lives even though he did not yet know it. Now, it was just rising, lighting a path they had yet to take and she hoped it would be a long one.

'I'm sure he will appreciate it.'

'He better.'

'And did you make any plans for later today?'

'No. Did you?'

'Well… I thought I'd invite my boyfriend over so I could make him a decent lunch.'

'A _decent_ lunch includes a dessert, I'm sure.'

'We can buy something on the way.'

Relena felt his grip on her tighten as he pulled her closer against him and smiled gratefully as the sun finally lit the name of the one man who had, in one way or another, allowed it all to happen.

* * *

A.N.: This is it, ladies and gentlemen. If you were waiting to read about Catherine and Trowa's meeting or the pilots' get-together, I apologise profusely for cutting it all out. I do wish this story had turned out better, but I fear I may have underestimated the challenge of writing a different pairing than I'm used to. I also decided I wanted this to be a different style than my other work (shifting POVs, focusing on the two main characters' relationship rather than what went on around them) and that may have gotten in my way a little as well... Regardless of my personal feelings though, as long as you - readers - enjoyed this (even a little) I'll be happy. :)

Now, a special thanks to _Relena for President_ who beta-read not all, but many chapters of this story, especially around the middle when I became rather uncertain about where things were leading... You owe this happy ending to her, for there was a point when I was really favouring a 'sad' ending and had she not asked for a happy one I don't know what might have happened... No, actually, I _do_ know. Hahaha

Thank you all for following and favouriting and reviewing. I don't think there'll be another 3xR. Not from me. XD But if you like 1xR feel free to check my other stories.


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